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Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,753,896 times
Reputation: 41381
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Star10101
What would you do if you got with a person of your preference, as you have described above... then they lost the ability to walk, years later?
Just wondering...
I don't know but if I found the relationship to be too cumbersome and more trouble than it's worth, I'd likely leave. But if the personality of the person turned into an extremely negative person who bemoaned they lost the ability to walk, that'd be the number one reason I'd bounce not just that they couldn't walk anymore.
I wouldn't enter a relationship with someone who had a disability that would affect OUR lifestyle, or significantly alter/limit my own. There is no point to this, unless you have spent time together for other reasons and fall in love despite the limitations.
Once IN a long term relationship (that has existed long enough to be considered permanent), it's different. You already have the love and bonding to keep you together. Unless their personality changes for the worse, then I'd stay with them - if they become bitter or negative, I might not stay.
For the bold part: you would think/hope so. But I personally know a friend from school, who split up from her husband when he got MS. Some people can't deal with things like that, it seems...
I know one almost as bad. He got MS in his early fifties after he and his live-in bought a house in Lafayette Square in St. Louis, a kind of fancy neighborhood with huge old houses, which are impossible for disabled people to navigate. She refused to move to another house and refused to do anything for him beyond the bare minimum. One thing he always looked forward to in the morning was his newspaper and it was perilous for him to go get it and she would not get it for him. I always considered her a POS after that.
For the bold part: you would think/hope so. But I personally know a friend from school, who split up from her husband when he got MS. Some people can't deal with things like that, it seems...
Well, I have a friend whose marriage was okay - not great. He got MS and turned into a really mean person. She left him a few years after the diagnosis. Not because of the MS itself. But what he turned into. Should she have stayed with him just because he has MS but is horrible to be around?
You never know their dynamics and how the relationship was before the health issue arises and how things progress.
Some people are selfish and leave once there is a health issue.
Some people turn into somebody completely unbearable once they get sick. As a partner, should you stick with that person no matter how nasty they are and how they mentally abuse you?
Well, I have a friend whose marriage was okay - not great. He got MS and turned into a really mean person. She left him a few years after the diagnosis. Not because of the MS itself. But what he turned into. Should she have stayed with him just because he has MS but is horrible to be around?
You never know their dynamics and how the relationship was before the health issue arises and how things progress.
Some people are selfish and leave once there is a health issue.
Some people turn into somebody completely unbearable once they get sick. As a partner, should you stick with that person no matter how nasty they are and how they mentally abuse you?
It is not all black and white.
What about people such as myself who are born with their disability and know no other way to live and so are well adjusted to our lifestyle. Are we undateable/unmarryable what have you?
I know one almost as bad. He got MS in his early fifties after he and his live-in bought a house in Lafayette Square in St. Louis, a kind of fancy neighborhood with huge old houses, which are impossible for disabled people to navigate. She refused to move to another house and refused to do anything for him beyond the bare minimum. One thing he always looked forward to in the morning was his newspaper and it was perilous for him to go get it and she would not get it for him. I always considered her a POS after that.
Oh, that's bad. Did they stay together or not, after that, do you know?
Well, I have a friend whose marriage was okay - not great. He got MS and turned into a really mean person. She left him a few years after the diagnosis. Not because of the MS itself. But what he turned into. Should she have stayed with him just because he has MS but is horrible to be around?
You never know their dynamics and how the relationship was before the health issue arises and how things progress.
Some people are selfish and leave once there is a health issue.
Some people turn into somebody completely unbearable once they get sick. As a partner, should you stick with that person no matter how nasty they are and how they mentally abuse you?
It is not all black and white.
That is a tricky one, because you are getting into a case of a 'personality change' there, as well as the person changing physically.
You never know their dynamics and how the relationship was before the health issue arises and how things progress.
Some people are selfish and leave once there is a health issue.
Some people turn into somebody completely unbearable once they get sick. As a partner, should you stick with that person no matter how nasty they are and how they mentally abuse you?
It is not all black and white.
Exactly. Everyone who thinks they are a rock and can handle everything thrown at them, please go to the caregiving section and read some threads there. It's heartbreaking and a real eye opener to the harsh realities when a person's mental or physical health deteriorates. Caregiving can be real draining and a challenge.
I do believe in sickness and in health, but that's only after marriage or a long number of years together. No one is guaranteed physical or mental health till their death. And people can talk all they want but no one knows how she/he will respond till they are in that situation after a long number of years. Will they stay or won't they?
I don't know but if I found the relationship to be too cumbersome and more trouble than it's worth, I'd likely leave. But if the personality of the person turned into an extremely negative person who bemoaned they lost the ability to walk, that'd be the number one reason I'd bounce not just that they couldn't walk anymore.
This is a reason why I'd never get married.
Dude, you're an extremely negative person and you're able-bodied!
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,753,896 times
Reputation: 41381
Quote:
Originally Posted by TabulaRasa
Dude, you're an extremely negative person and you're able-bodied!
Yeah but I don't advertise it in real life. I fake like I'm a happy person in real life so no one can label me a negative person and I don't become a bummer to be around.
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