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Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 8 days ago)
35,634 posts, read 17,975,706 times
Reputation: 50663
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So since it was a text conversation, (it's not like she didn't get last night's texts), and you were clear you wanted to do it tonight and gave a time and location and plans to pick her up or meet, and then by 3 this afternoon she had cancelled?
I had plans to meet a woman tonight from Match. I sent her a text this afternoon about it. She says, "I didn't hear from you so I cancelled my babysitter." We talked yesterday, and I texted after work. There was no reason for her to think I was backing out. I told her I wasn't like that. If I wasn't gonna do something, I would tell her. Why can't women just say they don't want to meet?
People are fickle... It sounds more like an excuse to me on her part.
I mentioned this in my text to her last night. Today just before 3, I texted her about tonight. She said she hadn't heard from me so she figured I was "skipping out". So, I texted her last night, texted her this afternoon. Why would she think the plan was scrapped unless that's what she wanted to think?
I canceled a date recently for much the same reason so maybe I can shed some light. I just didn't pick up any clues that he was all that interested and I didn't want to waste a trip all the way up to town (45 min one way) so I canceled it. For her it was the idea of wasting a good baby sitting night complete with all they charge these days (and should). I'm assuming you didn't keep in touch enough--I don't have to have a lot of texting but I need a better show of interest and not the idea that you're just going thru the motions. The whole thing left me wondering why he'd bothered to ask me out in the first place.
I canceled a date recently for much the same reason so maybe I can shed some light. I just didn't pick up any clues that he was all that interested and I didn't want to waste a trip all the way up to town (45 min one way) so I canceled it. For her it was the idea of wasting a good baby sitting night complete with all they charge these days (and should). I'm assuming you didn't keep in touch enough--I don't have to have a lot of texting but I need a better show of interest and not the idea that you're just going thru the motions. The whole thing left me wondering why he'd bothered to ask me out in the first place.
And then if he did show more interest, he'd be branded as a desperate person. You can't win
J/K, J/K
I get what you mean. If I am talking to a woman, and she is acting like she'd rather not talk to me, I am going to walk away and not look back. Even if at first she showed a lot of interest at first, the moment she goes cold is the moment I jump ship.
I canceled a date recently for much the same reason so maybe I can shed some light. I just didn't pick up any clues that he was all that interested and I didn't want to waste a trip all the way up to town (45 min one way) so I canceled it. For her it was the idea of wasting a good baby sitting night complete with all they charge these days (and should). I'm assuming you didn't keep in touch enough--I don't have to have a lot of texting but I need a better show of interest and not the idea that you're just going thru the motions. The whole thing left me wondering why he'd bothered to ask me out in the first place.
Uhm that is not a valid reason to cancel if you already had set plans then you assume it's going to happen. This is the adult world. If I schedule a meeting with 3 people through Outlook they don't "not" show up because I didn't send them an email to check in 3 hours later. He said he did talk to her.
This is flakey behavior, from you, and the woman the OP is talking about.
On a side note, no surprise we're talking about OLD here.
Bryant17 what a lot of women do from OLD is setup stuff with more than one person on the same night so it's possible you were just her Plan B or C. Or she might have even started talking to someone else immediately after you made plans with her and flaked out.
And then if he did show more interest, he'd be branded as a desperate person. You can't win
J/K, J/K
I get what you mean. If I am talking to a woman, and she is acting like she'd rather not talk to me, I am going to walk away and not look back. Even if at first she showed a lot of interest at first, the moment she goes cold is the moment I jump ship.
This x100!
You never want to seem desperate or needy. Show that you're interested, but gauge her response. If you ask her out and she keeps telling you she's busy, she's not interested.
Or if she says that she's not sure what her schedule looks like, just say, "When you figure out your schedule, give me a call." But don't hold your breath waiting for her to contact you. Move on.
Dating is obnoxious. I just talk to em like a friend and if they expect instant chemistry and friend zone me its their loss. Nobody on the dating sites are willing to be friends first... They want instant chemistry and are really fickle as you mentioned.
I had plans to meet a woman tonight from Match. I sent her a text this afternoon about it. She says, "I didn't hear from you so I cancelled my babysitter." We talked yesterday, and I texted after work. There was no reason for her to think I was backing out. I told her I wasn't like that. If I wasn't gonna do something, I would tell her. Why can't women just say they don't want to meet?
I won't show up to the meeting location unless I receive confirmation on that day. However, if I don't hear from the person, I'll say something like "Are we still on for today?" to give them an opportunity to confirm.
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