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If he was a genuinely good guy, I would have moved on. Unfortunately, he's pretty terrible and that takes a lot for me to say that about someone.
Ok if you do genuinely believe that to be true then your question and how to proceed are already answered. Far better advice than any stranger on cd will give you... your own intuition.
I've never known a woman who was interested in me, for the qualities I value in myself. That tells me they didn't show good judgement about their previous boyfriends, either. I wouldn't be interested in knowing about those other guys, because it wouldn't tell me anything useful, regarding why I was chosen. If a guy is going to be with a woman, this has to be tolerated.
What guy ask to see a picture of another woman's man, that he's wanting to try to date? That is the most foolish thing I've ever heard.
Exactly! If I meet some woman and she's already taken, I'm keeping it moving. I don't want to know what her guy looks like. I don't look at pics of other guys!
I've had (in the past) a couple of people tell me that I looked "weak", as I'm no big burly guy myself. But I have a background in martial arts and believe I can (and will) take care of myself in a confrontation.
Never underestimate the opponent!
Exactly! If I meet some woman and she's already taken, I'm keeping it moving. I don't want to know what her guy looks like. I don't look at pics of other guys!
Some guys think they with leave thier boyfriend for them
Highly unlikely to happen
This is nice guy, friend zoned, emotional tampon gold. Let's dive in.
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Originally Posted by RandomDude20
So I met this one girl in one of my college classes about 3 months ago. When I first met her, I got her phone number on day 1. The next day she indirectly brings up that she has a boyfriend and begins to tell me these negative things about him (granted the guy kinda deserves the criticism).
Wow, that was quick. Dove right into being her emotional tampon in less than 24 hours. All she had to do was give her phone number to you and you were hooked. Do you know what most men do that aren't faux nice guys when a girl they are interested in starts trying to unload their boyfriend baggage on them? They tell her they don't want to hear about her boyfriend.
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Originally Posted by RandomDude20
For Example:
She would tell me how he gets angry and defensive for no reason (to her defense, she would merely ask "How are you feeling?" when he's sick and he would respond with "stop cross-examining me" or something defensive). Another thing to note is that this is a long distance relationship and has been for about 7 months.
OR she would tell me about how he basically cheated on her with girls from his English class (he would individually "help them write essays at their house")
OR the worst one, they broke up once because he thought she was "too much work". She got back with him again (No idea why) He eventually dropped out of the college that she currently goes to and is in another state. Her parents hate him and his parents hate her and blame her for their son's failure.
Oh no, she's such a tortured little princess. Better get on your horse. Don't forget the armor.
Quote:
Originally Posted by RandomDude20
To top that off, after learning what kind of guy he is, she asks me my opinion of her boyfriend. (This may have been a mistake, but whatever) I warned her probably 15 times that I am just going to say it the way it is and I am not going to hold back anything, even if it sounds negative/judgmental. She agreed and I basically went off on her loser bf. I asked her "how you could rely on someone who as given up on you at the easiest part of your relationship?". She claims to "love" this guy and "I[me] can't talk" because I don't know him personally. I responded with a "man is judged by his actions not his words". She couldn't formulate a rational response after that.
Yep. Because women just love being made to feel like they're in the wrong for the decisions they're making. You're her emotional tampon now dude, you can't make her feel bad. You're just there for her to water board you with her problems.
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Originally Posted by RandomDude20
I am well aware I'm probably friend-zoned
Well maybe there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Maybe you do have some situational awareness.
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Originally Posted by RandomDude20
even though I had multiple opportunities to make a move.
Aaaaaaand it's gone. You never did. You just think you did.
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Originally Posted by RandomDude20
However, I respect her too much to be that slimy and filthy little boy who craves sex(I am also not that kind of guy in general).
Jesus. I just threw up in my mouth. Is this what kids are being taught? That being a hetero man who likes sex makes you a "filthy little boy?" Unreal. I feel sorry for you. And let's be honest here. This faux nice guy "I respect her too much" show you're putting on only gets you in the friend zone. Example? This thread.
Quote:
Originally Posted by RandomDude20
She told her Mom about me and how I am this great guy and she "wished other guys were like me". She would also always have these really deep conversations with me and told me some really personal things that she hasn't told anyone else. She always wants to spend time with me and she tends to initiate most things. Personally, I think she just has me around as her "backup" because she doesn't like being alone. I mean this whole situation is kinda stupid, but any insights would be appreciated. Will they eventually break up or am just wasting my time. The only reason I ignored the fact she has a boyfriend is because he is not a very great person and treats her pretty horribly.
And scene. Literally text book. Word to the wise dude; you're not her back up. You're simply a guy she uses for validation and as an emotional dumpster. These little nuggets she tosses you "told my mom about you" "wish other guys were like you" are just little crumbs to keep you around.
Sorry, but this is 100% certain based on everything you wrote above.
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Originally Posted by RandomDude20
or am just wasting my time.
Yes you are. There is no way back from this. Even if you decide to become a tool like her boyfriend (a type she's attracted to) it's too late. Even in the movies the "friend" never gets the girl, he just finds someone of his "own caliber/league" right before the credits roll. Just move on and stop dwelling on this. Be aware, that when you pull back from her, she may try to get you back where she wants you by making you believe you may now have a shot. Don't fall for it, you don't. Just move on unless you want to be her girlfriend and believe me, it won't be a fulfilling relationship.
Next time you're with her, at some point try to reach out and hold her hand. If you're bold (*chuckle*) go in for a kiss.
You'll experience firsthand what everyone here is trying to tell you, Romeo-In-Shining-Armor.
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