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I am curious and would love to hear back from others and I want you to be completely honest. What is your biggest complaint with dating sites?
Specific questions for woman
1. On average, how many messages do you get a day?
2. How many of these messages are simple and no effort messages (ex. "hi how r u?")
3. How many messages are repeats of guys who have contacted you before?
4. How often do you get jerks or creeps?
5. Do guys seriously send you d*** pics? If so, does it usually just happen at random? Do these guys have a normal conversation and then bam they send you a pic without warning?
Question for guys
1. How many messages do you send daily and get no response?
2. Do you usually send short messages?
3. Do you copy/paste and send to as many as possible to see if any respond?
4. Do you read the profiles and try to include something you read about them in your message?
Do any of you notice a difference when using a free site compared to a membership site?
I am not criticizing either side. I think dating sites have their issues and I am hoping users can share their thoughts.
Oh, I don't know... I think you are. Your bias is evident. If there were no bias, you would have posted identical questions to men and women... no? There are women that contact men you know. Or maybe you don't. Some write real messages, and some do the 'cut and paste' thing'. Just like men do. Men get p**** pics from women you know. Did you know that? Of course, if a guy gets one of those it is quite likely to be a bot from a spam site. But some guys don't know that...
I think dating sites have their issues
And? Of course dating sites have their issues. Because people have their issues. The issue is people. Period. If you eliminate people from the equation, neither dating sites or IRL will have any issues. Or action.
I am hoping users can share their thoughts.
There is not one single thing bad (or good) about dating sites that isn't also true of real life. A neighborhood bakery serves people in the neighborhood, and they serve easygoing people and asshats that come in (or call in) daily. They put up a website and all that is good (and bad) about being a bakery explodes several orders of magnitude. And this is ignoring the fact that not all bakeries are good ones! But we should remember that that is the case.
My cousin makes seriously expensive wedding cakes out of her home. She is very good at it. I've had several over the years. Now that she has a website she is freezing cakes in dry ice and sending them to U.S. Military personnel stationed all over the world. And of course she has had some claim that the cake arrived damaged or otherwise not useable. But most are satisfied. That is my experience online. I've had good times and bad times but the good times have outweighed the bad. YMMV. Why did so much of this concern bakeries or cake? Use your imagination.
Oh, I don't know... I think you are. Your bias is evident. If there were no bias, you would have posted identical questions to men and women... no? There are women that contact men you know. Or maybe you don't. Some write real messages, and some do the 'cut and paste' thing'. Just like men do. Men get p**** pics from women you know. Did you know that? Of course, if a guy gets one of those it is quite likely to be a bot from a spam site. But some guys don't know that...
I think dating sites have their issues
And? Of course dating sites have their issues. Because people have their issues. The issue is people. Period. If you eliminate people from the equation, neither dating sites or IRL will have any issues. Or action.
I am hoping users can share their thoughts.
There is not one single thing bad (or good) about dating sites that isn't also true of real life. A neighborhood bakery serves people in the neighborhood, and they serve easygoing people and asshats that come in (or call in) daily. They put up a website and all that is good (and bad) about being a bakery explodes several orders of magnitude. And this is ignoring the fact that not all bakeries are good ones! But we should remember that that is the case.
My cousin makes seriously expensive wedding cakes out of her home. She is very good at it. I've had several over the years. Now that she has a website she is freezing cakes in dry ice and sending them to U.S. Military personnel stationed all over the world. And of course she has had some claim that the cake arrived damaged or otherwise not useable. But most are satisfied. That is my experience online. I've had good times and bad times but the good times have outweighed the bad. YMMV. Why did so much of this concern bakeries or cake? Use your imagination.
Only reason I did not ask the same questions was because I have heard men and woman have different experiences online. Yes I agree men get messages and p**** pics but is it at the same volume as woman? Not making a claim, just curious. I appreciate your response and I agree, it is the people that make dating sites have their issues. However, there are some things in dating sites I think could be change to "help" the situation but that is for another topic. Anyways, I appreciate your response and feedback.
Your right though, the questions should be the same for everyone.
So let me ask these questions for everyone and I added some new.
1. How many messages do you send daily and get no response?
2. Do you usually send short messages?
3. Do you copy/paste and send to as many as possible to see if any respond?
4. Do you read the profiles and try to include something you read about them in your message?
4. Do you get bad pics? If so, are they at random?
5. Do you send bad pics? If so, why? (I don't expect anyone to honestly answer this one)
6. Do you feel the amount of messages you get daily makes it more overwhelming and frustrating?
Question for guys
1. How many messages do you send daily and get no response?
2. Do you usually send short messages?
3. Do you copy/paste and send to as many as possible to see if any respond?
4. Do you read the profiles and try to include something you read about them in your message?
1. Between 2 and 10.
2. Sort of: 3 to 5 lines. Anywhere shorter smacks of thoughtlessness, and anywhere longer smacks of desperation.
3. Sort of; typing out each message individually gets tedious. I change around a sentence or two to personalize them.
4. Yes, just enough to make the messages at least appear personalized.
Of course, that was before year 2014, when my response rate was 1 in 10. And in mid-2000's, the heyday of online dating, my response rates were as good as 1 in 3. In the last few years, online dating became such a cluster[expletive] and a waste of time, that I closed all my dating site accounts.
1. Between 2 and 10.
2. Sort of: 3 to 5 lines. Anywhere shorter smacks of thoughtlessness, and anywhere longer smacks of desperation.
3. Sort of; typing out each message individually gets tedious. I change around a sentence or two to personalize them.
4. Yes, just enough to make the messages at least appear personalized.
Of course, that was before year 2014, when my response rate was 1 in 10. And in mid-2000's, the heyday of online dating, my response rates were as good as 1 in 3. In the last few years, online dating became such a cluster[expletive] and a waste of time, that I closed all my dating site accounts.
Did you notice any difference in dating sites? For example, POF vs match.com or were they basically the same results?
Oh, I don't know... I think you are. Your bias is evident. If there were no bias, you would have posted identical questions to men and women... no? There are women that contact men you know. Or maybe you don't. Some write real messages, and some do the 'cut and paste' thing'. Just like men do. Men get p**** pics from women you know. Did you know that? Of course, if a guy gets one of those it is quite likely to be a bot from a spam site. But some guys don't know that...
I think dating sites have their issues
And? Of course dating sites have their issues. Because people have their issues. The issue is people. Period. If you eliminate people from the equation, neither dating sites or IRL will have any issues. Or action.
I am hoping users can share their thoughts.
There is not one single thing bad (or good) about dating sites that isn't also true of real life. A neighborhood bakery serves people in the neighborhood, and they serve easygoing people and asshats that come in (or call in) daily. They put up a website and all that is good (and bad) about being a bakery explodes several orders of magnitude. And this is ignoring the fact that not all bakeries are good ones! But we should remember that that is the case.
My cousin makes seriously expensive wedding cakes out of her home. She is very good at it. I've had several over the years. Now that she has a website she is freezing cakes in dry ice and sending them to U.S. Military personnel stationed all over the world. And of course she has had some claim that the cake arrived damaged or otherwise not useable. But most are satisfied. That is my experience online. I've had good times and bad times but the good times have outweighed the bad. YMMV. Why did so much of this concern bakeries or cake? Use your imagination.
Is it just me or did this post actually brought absolutely no value to this thread?
Did you notice any difference in dating sites? For example, POF vs match.com or were they basically the same results?
Pretty much the same, with some caveats. Women on OKCupid were usually fairly reliable: they kept the dates as scheduled, even if they ghosted me afterwards. Plenty of Fish had some diamonds in the rough, but most women on it were more flaky than Kellogs corn cereal. I have no experience with Match.com.
1. How many messages do you send daily and get no response?
When I had Cupid I would send on average 5-6 messages a day.
2. Do you usually send short messages?
Mostly, yes. Some basic complement/remark about something that I noticed in their profile.
3. Do you copy/paste and send to as many as possible to see if any respond?
No
4. Do you read the profiles and try to include something you read about them in your message?
Yes, but not overly crazy into that. Just something basic and spending too much time on that kind of stuff is not something I dedicate my efforts
I'll bite. But it's been three years since I've been on a dating site (met my boyfriend that way and we've been dating ever since).
Specific questions for woman
1. On average, how many messages do you get a day?
- When I first joined a site, more than I could remember. It was a lot. Once the crazy "fresh meat" stuff settled down, I got maybe a few messages a week. Sometimes none, sometimes a handful... there was never any rhyme or reason to it.
2. How many of these messages are simple and no effort messages (ex. "hi how r u?")
- That first week or two when I first joined and it was crazy, almost all of them. After that, maybe half were like that. After a few months, I stopped reading any incoming messages that weren't from men I contacted first and the quality of messages went up more.
3. How many messages are repeats of guys who have contacted you before?
- I really didn't notice this. Except for one guy who seemed to contact me every month and then vanish when I suggested meeting.
4. How often do you get jerks or creeps?
- At the beginning, a lot. Most "bad apple" guys (not most guys) were just liars though (the biggest thing was lying about age and body size. Men tended to be older than they said or were a lot fatter than their pictures). Once I became more selective and only responded to men I contacted first. I never had problems with jerk or creeps. There were still liars though (although a lot less).
5. Do guys seriously send you d*** pics? If so, does it usually just happen at random? Do these guys have a normal conversation and then bam they send you a pic without warning?
- Never happened to me. Then again, I also never carried on long conversations. Maybe 2-3 messages and then I wanted to meet to see if there was any chemistry. I used online dating as a way of online meeting, not "dating."
And for the bonus questions:
1. How many messages do you send daily and get no response?
- I made it a habit to send one message out per day. Sometimes two. Out of the 7 messages a week I sent, I might get 1 or 2 replies. Most replies didn't end up as dates either.
2. Do you usually send short messages?
- Yes. Usually just a comment on a profile and a question.
3. Do you copy/paste and send to as many as possible to see if any respond?
- No, that wouldn't work. Since I commented on something in the profile and asked a question about it. Besides, it was an effort to find one guy a day to message. I wasn't about to do all that work to find someone only to send a generic canned message.
4. Do you read the profiles and try to include something you read about them in your message?
- Yes. How else are they supposed to know I am actually interested in them as a human being and not a picture?
4. Do you get bad pics? If so, are they at random?
- No.
5. Do you send bad pics? If so, why? (I don't expect anyone to honestly answer this one)
- I never sent any pictures. My pictures were in my profile.
6. Do you feel the amount of messages you get daily makes it more overwhelming and frustrating?
- At first is was overwhelming. I just didn't have time to read everything and most of it was as annoying as click bait. But when things died down, it was manageable. When it was down to just 1-2 messages a week from men I already contacted first, then I made some serious progress in meeting someone special.
To answer that last question about how the sites compared. I met most men who lied about their age on eHarmony (and I hated eHarmony because I was never interested in the men it matched me with, no matter how much a tweaked my questions). OKC had all the guys in poly relationships looking for a third (which I wasn't interested in). I tried a Christian dating site too... yeah, not my kettle of fish if you pardon the pun. Really, really old guys wanting a broodmare to pop out babies (some said they wanted to be my "friend" and nothing more. I didn't join dating sites to make friends). Match was my best bet and where I met the best guys. It's also where I met my boyfriend.
Honestly though, I think the quality of dating sites is regional. So what worked (and didn't work for me) might not work somewhere else.
$100.00 bet says that if check back on this forum in a week this new poster with "Junior Member" title will show "Not A Member" title. $300.00 bet says that its a former member (possibly banned) who returned with new user ID.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mnnc
Only reason I did not ask the same questions was because I have heard men and woman have different experiences online. Yes I agree men get messages and p**** pics but is it at the same volume as woman? Not making a claim, just curious.
Second post and already using profanity and being combative with another user?
I've never used any online dating service, but I'd think that its just like what happens in real life. You have men constantly going after women (i.e., sending messages) and you have women constantly fending off those from unwanted/undesired men.
From what I have seen in real life from people I have known, Match seems to be the clear cut winner when it comes to successful relationships and marriages. I mean CLEAR cut winner.
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