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Not sure if you mean paying for dates or paying for gifts. I don't expect guys to pay on dates so I always take some $ with me. That being said, I would not go on another date with a guy who didn't pay (at least in the beginning). I'm old fashioned and prefer someone who does things like open doors, picks me up, pays for whatever, and is just classy and has manners. As far as gifts, I've never had guys really just randomly buy me things. I mean it would be nice but I would be shocked if someone did that.
this happens because of expectations long groomed, since a child.
cheap men cant support a family, I am special, where are my flowers?my apology?Balloons? we are at a point where women say we want to be equal, but we still want to be treated different.
A man ends up paying for the "P" somehow or the other, not sexist, but reality. And women continue to agree and play along with the game. it is never ending.
Some men enjoy giving gifts. That is their love language. Some women enjoy doing their man's laundry and cleaning his apartment (not me!) That is their love language. As long as it's a mutual understanding, it's just how people are I suppose.
Exactly! It just depends on the person. Men buying their women gifts is one of those sort of expected things that happened in past. Kind of like a man who opens the car door or buys flowers, it is a sign of courtship. However, as women became more independent and self sufficient(yes I know many years ago) this sign of chivalry kind of faded. Now it is very much a me world and I honestly think men/boys are not really taught this anymore by parents.
While I think it works both ways I still think it is nice to see a man appreciate and show signs for his woman even if it is not materialistic it can be a massage or letter but everyone should feel appreciated in some form. And of course women too which women are more naturally like this I know there are some greedy bad apples out there who just want to take advantage. But all the same there is nothing wrong with wanting your SO to shower you with something.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,711 posts, read 41,907,747 times
Reputation: 41454
I'll say this right now. If you are in a relationship with me, dont expect me to shower you with gifts. I have a strong anti-materialism belief and my love does not work that way. I would date a girl all that into gifts in the first place. Now, if you had your eye on something once in a while and I can afford it, I will buy it and surprise you but don't expect it to be a habit. I'm more likely to surprise you with washing your car or doing the dishes so you don't have to.
I'll say this right now. If you are in a relationship with me, dont expect me to shower you with gifts. I have a strong anti-materialism belief and my love does not work that way. I would date a girl all that into gifts in the first place. Now, if you had your eye on something once in a while and I can afford it, I will buy it and surprise you but don't expect it to be a habit. I'm more likely to surprise you with washing your car or doing the dishes so you don't have to.
^This. I'm not about material things. Sure, little trinkets here and there are nice or a gift that he wants to give because HE wants to, is what I'm about. I get home from work after 8pm. When dinner is ready and dishes are washed or a load of laundry was done, that makes me happy. Actions speak volumes. When my husband and I were dating, and we still do this now, if we see a little something that the other might like, whether it be a magazine or even a candy bar lol, we'll surprise each other. When expectations are set high in the beginning, it often tends to lead to being let down. There's more to relationships than showering with gifts. I've paid for our dates (dinner, movies/entertainment). It goes both ways
I'm a woman and I don't get why some women feel like their bf needs to buy them things. Unless you're a housewife and don't have a job, I don't feel like anybody owes you anything. Don't get me wrong, I love having people give me things too, but I don't expect them to. In three days I have heard two women complain about their bf spending their money on their hobbies and not on them. I have dated people who seemed stingy, they also seemed like aholes most of the time, so I eventually left them. When women complain about their bf not giving them things, it makes me think the relationship is probably going to end soon because someone doesn't feel satisfied. Is it possible that maybe the bfs are lacking in other ways? Like if the guy was thoughtful in other ways that didn't involve money, would the women be complaining?
I'm with you! I pride myself on having a good job and buying my own things.
And no, I think that there are woman that think their worth is tied up in material things more than love and respect.
I'll say this right now. If you are in a relationship with me, dont expect me to shower you with gifts. I have a strong anti-materialism belief and my love does not work that way. I would date a girl all that into gifts in the first place. Now, if you had your eye on something once in a while and I can afford it, I will buy it and surprise you but don't expect it to be a habit. I'm more likely to surprise you with washing your car or doing the dishes so you don't have to.
You take such a hard line on so many things. Part of being in a relationship is flexibility and compromise.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 37,171,503 times
Reputation: 40641
Never ran into this, thankfully.
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