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The person with the home, (the family? the kids? the pets?) is the homewrecker. She isn't married, she didn't take any vows. He's responsible for wrecking his own home and would've wrecked his own home with someone else.
That being said, OP your low self-esteem / low self-worth are what is keeping you from having a REAL relationship that would take commitment and every day Trust and growth.
In a real relationship you have to take responsibility for your happiness when things go wrong, and can't just say: "Oh well he's married anyway, it wouldn't have worked, not my fault."
For some reason you think you aren't deserving ,or ready, or good enough to have a real relationship.
Tell him if he's unhappy with his wife, then he should fix that or leave her. If and when that happens, he can give you a call. Then do not contact him and wait to see what happens.
In other words, get over it or find someone else, or you'll be in the same place next year.
Let's be clear, you are not dating, you are a mistress.
It is going to be hard to have strong self esteem while you are behaving dishonorably. Self esteem comes from doing things in way where you can respect yourself. Running around behind someone's back, being in 2nd place with the man you love, only receiving crumbs will not garner your self respect.
You might want to try counseling so you can figure out why you put yourself in this position.
Even if he does (he won't) leave his wife, won't you always wonder if he is doing the same to you?
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I am sorry you are in this situation. I try not to judge people and I don't think you are a bad person. Sometimes people just get caught up in bad situations. I believe you know what the right thing to do is you just need to do it. This man will never leave his wife so cut ties with him so that you can make room for the right man to come into your life. Ask yourself what does this man add to your life? He will never be yours completely and he will always go home to his wife.
Maybe that helps - He is a cheater. If he ever leaves his wife and is with you - he most likely will cheat on you at some point. Do you want that? He is NOT a good person. Every time is around you and texting - it is probably her. Do you want your man to text nice stuff to other women?
He most likely sleeps with his wife right after he slept with you. How does that make you feel?
He probably tells you they don't have sex anymore. This is a lie. He is a liar.
He loves his wife. He has a life with her. You are just a cheap side piece for him.
I understand you have low self esteem. I totally do. But just know there is someone out there for you. Someone who loves you and is honest. You don't need a guy who has another woman.
Do you think that single men who are "dating" married women really think, expect, or even WANT "their" woman to get a divorce? Or do they think of them more accurately as the sidepiece that they are?
Oh, oh, can I play? Lets see....
Do you think a thread like this authored by a man would meet with generally thoughtful and somewhat sympathetic responses? Oh wait, that wouldn't happen because men always compartmentalize and never get hurt emotionally.
Or, does reneeh couch about 80% of her comments here in terms of gender politics?
Please don't moralise or call me a "home wrecker", it takes two to tango. I have been dating a married man for 3 years but our ideas seem to be different. I have low self worth and low self esteem and find myself allowing it all to be on his terms and I am very sad. He was going to leave his wife a year or so ago and we were going to live together, until he couldn't. His words were "she is a companion I just cant leave". Then this week he was looking at houses to rent for us both, but when I mentioned it yesterday he came out with his favourite line "its difficult". He plays with my head and wants it all but I am too weak not to say enough. He is my best friend and he knows me better than anyone but I am going through such a hard time with other things he cant or wont deal with it all. Lat night I was crying my eyes out down the phone to him and all he could say was I feel guilty now for starting all this. Has anyone got any words that can help me please?
You are probably going to stay in this wretched situation until you decide you love yourself. Until then, you're doomed to this life of unhappiness that you have chosen.
Do you think a thread like this authored by a man would meet with generally thoughtful and somewhat sympathetic responses? Oh wait, that wouldn't happen because men always compartmentalize and never get hurt emotionally.
Or, does reneeh couch about 80% of her comments here in terms of gender politics?
This is fun
When was the last time a man got on the forum complaining that his married girlfriend wasn't available and "cried his eyes out" because his GF couldn't deal with his "other issues"?
**crickets**
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