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Being let go from a job due to “issues” and another because you had no way to get there, and another because you were inefficient and then saying it’s not your fault does not sound to me like someone that is down on their luck. It sounds like someone who gets a job because they have to, discovers that they just don’t feel like doing what they are supposed to do, does the bare minimum or even less than that, and gets fired on a repeating basis.
Being let go from a job due to “issues” and another because you had no way to get there, and another because you were inefficient and then saying it’s not your fault does not sound to me like someone that is down on their luck. It sounds like someone who gets a job because they have to, discovers that they just don’t feel like doing what they are supposed to do, does the bare minimum or even less than that, and gets fired on a repeating basis.
Would you find that attractive?
What if you gained 20 lbs, struggled to lose it and your SO dumpes you after x amount of months saying he lost his attraction for you? He's reasonable so understand.
I have a little problem with the "not my fault" statement.
Once or twice it could be a bad luck or really not their fault, but a permanent issue being always someone's else fault? I have a hard time believing it. Just look into the reasons why someone gets constantly fired from the jobs, and reevaluate the behaviour leading to it.
Who would want to date a person who is always blaming others, and never acknowledge their own mistakes? Not me!
Yep. Absolutely.
Anybody can have bad luck. An uninsured driver ramming your car. A natural disaster. Those kinds of things.
But when your life is a constant litany of troubles with work, spats with friends or romantic interests, a running battle with creditors, or whatever, then that means you have not mastered running your life. It might be a case of not planning ahead, choosing the wrong people in life, or whatever.
So when has this as a constant theme in their lives but it's NEVER THEIR FAULT, it almost certainly is their fault, but they won't take a hard look at how they operate and won't change their lives. And, given how a long-term relationship is a partnership, a romantic interest is fully justified at looking at someone with constant 'bad luck' and wondering if it's wise to throw in with that person.
Being let go from a job due to “issues” and another because you had no way to get there, and another because you were inefficient and then saying it’s not your fault does not sound to me like someone that is down on their luck. It sounds like someone who gets a job because they have to, discovers that they just don’t feel like doing what they are supposed to do, does the bare minimum or even less than that, and gets fired on a repeating basis.
Would you find that attractive?
Well everyone has to work, lol if I had my way I'd volunteer at my church every day & start a kitten farm, but yes, like everybody else i have to work. I feel like I put effort into my job. I loved working at McDonalds it actually wasnt bad at all until the end. I liked the people and the customers even tho it got stressful. The last few jobs haven't been my favorite but in any situation I'm in I try to look at the positive. I put in effort & tried super hard. It just wasn't enough.
And no, I guess I wouldn't. A few of my boyfriends have had jobs, a few haven't. It never bothered me much since I only really ever cared about the person. Anyone can have bad luck I guess.
So when has this as a constant theme in their lives but it's NEVER THEIR FAULT, it almost certainly is their fault, but they won't take a hard look at how they operate and won't change their lives. And, given how a long-term relationship is a partnership, a romantic interest is fully justified at looking at someone with constant 'bad luck' and wondering if it's wise to throw in with that person.
Well that's true. Some people just don't want to take the gamble & I don't blame them!
Well, it WAS your fault. Nobody gets let go multiple times and is never at fault.
Why don't you go for a higher than entry level job? What skills do you have?
I dated jobless people - it was just a rough patch for them - but I would not date anybody who keeps getting fired. How can you say it would not affect your partner when you are not working and broke? If your bf wants to go on a vacation, he cannot go with you without paying your share. If he wants to start a family and plan a future, real estate, retirement - you have nothing to contribute and will always have to depend on the other person.
Life is not a fairytale, you have to clean up your act and find a REAL job and stick with it.
Sorry OP, but you need to look long and hard about why you can't hold a job, and fix that. It is much more important than whether or not you have a boyfriend.
Sorry OP, but you need to look long and hard about why you can't hold a job, and fix that. It is much more important than whether or not you have a boyfriend.
I know I just started the thread to ask people their opinions to see if he was right or not. I guess he was.
One of my first jobs, when I was 18, was working in the kitchen of a nursing home. For the most part, the experience went very very badly. Some things WERE my fault...although innocently done, and some were really and truly NOT my fault. But compiled with the ways I WAS responsible...let's just say I wasn't a good fit. LOL
So...I get it, that sometimes, despite our best efforts, we're not meant for some jobs.
My advice would be to try to examine where things went wrong, and fix what you can fix. For example, if transportation is a problem, try to fix that. Get your license, get a car, figure out public transportation...whatever needs to be done to make yourself one step more reliable, and so on.
I'm not going to beat you up. Just do what you can to make yourself more hireable. :-)
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if I had my way I'd volunteer at my church every day & start a kitten farm, but yes, like everybody else i have to work. I feel like I put effort into my job. I loved working at McDonalds it actually wasnt bad at all until the end. I liked the people and the customers even tho it got stressful. The last few jobs haven't been my favorite but in any situation I'm in I try to look at the positive. I put in effort & tried super hard. It just wasn't enough.
