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I don't know why I'm posting here. Honestly I feel I shouldn't but, since I'm being honest, I don't care to burden my family and friends any longer with my relationship issues. Just know this is a vent post. Nothing more.
I can't recall exactly when things started going south. I want to believe it happened the same month she graduated from college, back in March of this year. Before March, and heck, after March, we talked about expanding our family. We talked about trying for a boy and how when she started working in her field (teaching) we would look to buy a house. Everything seemed like it was falling into place.
During her college years she worked unpaid internships along with her school work, which left very little time to work on ourselves. I could only work one job as taking on more hours or a second job would have required us pay childcare, so we made do with what we had. We kept telling ourselves that yes, we are accruing credit card debt but once she started working, we can tackle that. No big deal.
One week ago, 7/15/17, she tells me she isn't happy. This isn't the first time she said this. Back in June (a week before our family vacation) she also said she wasn't happy. I asked her about that but was told she doesn't know WHAT she is unhappy about. We had good communication. We never fought. Sure we had our arguments but in general, I thought we would push through and solve them. I guess I was wrong. For the past 5-6 months she has had more down days then up. She struggles with anorexia, depression and anxiety for which she is taking medication for. I have been trying to get her to see her doctor about her increased depression and the fact the meds no longer seem to effect (positively) her anxiety and depression. She refuses to go. Then last week, three days before our daughter turned two, she tells me she wants to call off the engagement. I ask her if we can work on it. See a counselor. She says no, she's too unhappy to continue. Apparently she misses her single life and wants to jump back in.
So here I am. The day of our anniversary. The day of our daughters birthday party . We almost made it three years. My whole life has been appended. A few weeks ago we were talking about having another child, buying a house. Mere weeks away from becoming financially stable. The floor fell out underneath me. She doesn't even want to try, just cut and run when things get difficult. I can't cry anymore. I feel like ive cried it all out. Three days ago she took off her engagement ring. I still wear mine.
Anyways, that's my story. I'm sure there's more, but that's all I can tell right now. Sleep has been very erratic for a week now.
All I got is: don't blame yourself, be glad it ended when it did rather than more years down the road, and finally, a lot of people over the course of your life will let you down.
I feel for you. Feeling upended and like the floor fell out from under you is a good way to put it.
All you can do is pick up the pieces and keep going. You have a kid now. Good luck. Sleep is a big B, I'll give you that.
I don't know why I'm posting here. Honestly I feel I shouldn't but, since I'm being honest, I don't care to burden my family and friends any longer with my relationship issues. Just know this is a vent post. Nothing more.
I can't recall exactly when things started going south. I want to believe it happened the same month she graduated from college, back in March of this year. Before March, and heck, after March, we talked about expanding our family. We talked about trying for a boy and how when she started working in her field (teaching) we would look to buy a house. Everything seemed like it was falling into place.
During her college years she worked unpaid internships along with her school work, which left very little time to work on ourselves. I could only work one job as taking on more hours or a second job would have required us pay childcare, so we made do with what we had. We kept telling ourselves that yes, we are accruing credit card debt but once she started working, we can tackle that. No big deal.
One week ago, 7/15/17, she tells me she isn't happy. This isn't the first time she said this. Back in June (a week before our family vacation) she also said she wasn't happy. I asked her about that but was told she doesn't know WHAT she is unhappy about. We had good communication. We never fought. Sure we had our arguments but in general, I thought we would push through and solve them. I guess I was wrong. For the past 5-6 months she has had more down days then up. She struggles with anorexia, depression and anxiety for which she is taking medication for. I have been trying to get her to see her doctor about her increased depression and the fact the meds no longer seem to effect (positively) her anxiety and depression. She refuses to go. Then last week, three days before our daughter turned two, she tells me she wants to call off the engagement. I ask her if we can work on it. See a counselor. She says no, she's too unhappy to continue. Apparently she misses her single life and wants to jump back in.
So here I am. The day of our anniversary. The day of our daughters birthday party . We almost made it three years. My whole life has been appended. A few weeks ago we were talking about having another child, buying a house. Mere weeks away from becoming financially stable. The floor fell out underneath me. She doesn't even want to try, just cut and run when things get difficult. I can't cry anymore. I feel like ive cried it all out. Three days ago she took off her engagement ring. I still wear mine.
Anyways, that's my story. I'm sure there's more, but that's all I can tell right now. Sleep has been very erratic for a week now.
Also, this is a vent post. Thanks for reading.
Dude, you ALMOST dodged a bullet. Take that ring off and stop crying. A woman with mental issues and that kind of attitude...it would only get worse. The only real problem I see is that you're probably the one with the kid now, as you say she wants to jump back into her 'single life'.
I'm just going to say it even though I know that people are going to lose their minds. MGTOW. This is an example of why MGTOW is growing. This is a 'nice guy' who wanted everything women always say they want. And he was willing to deal with any and all crap that came their way. He didn't run when she got pregnant, he didn't ditch her because of her mental issues. Yet, here he is, alone, with their kid, while she's heading back out to 'find herself' (i.e. take as much **** as she can), footloose and fancy free.
All I got is: don't blame yourself, be glad it ended when it did rather than more years down the road, and finally, a lot of people over the course of your life will let you down.
I feel for you. Feeling upended and like the floor fell out from under you is a good way to put it.
All you can do is pick up the pieces and keep going. You have a kid now. Good luck. Sleep is a big B, I'll give you that.
Ha. Thanks. I'm trying to look ahead instead of backwards. It will be a battle in and of itself.
Sorry ro hear. Is there still any hope? Did she move out/break up?
Or just does not want to be engaged?
Too bad you guys did not get a chance to have fun as a couple before being parents.having a child is a big game changer, and your girl is having a hard time coping with it.
With school, work, childcare, where did you find time just for you guys? Not all women know how to jump in and being a mom.
Are there other dynamics in your relationship? Issues with trust, outside meddling, money, not enough down time for her?
If its money, look for better pay.
Outside meddling, nip it in the butt,
Trust, without trust, there is no respect.
Down time, try to make life easier for her.
Her medication might be off as well, along with the added monthly blues.
I'm sorry you're going through this, OP. Take some time to grieve the loss of the relationship, and work out a plan moving forward. Do you have a support system? Family nearby? It's going to be difficult at first, but once you make the first initial steps, you'll see the light at the end of the tunnel. Ditto Stan and Griffis. Try to keep things amicable between you two. Bad blood only makes the situation worse where even young toddlers will pickup on unhealthy co-parenting dynamics. She probably does need help, and perhaps, for your daughter's sake, you can continue encouraging your ex to seek help.
Dude, you ALMOST dodged a bullet. Take that ring off and stop crying. A woman with mental issues and that kind of attitude...it would only get worse. The only real problem I see is that you're probably the one with the kid now, as you say she wants to jump back into her 'single life'.
I'm just going to say it even though I know that people are going to lose their minds. MGTOW. This is an example of why MGTOW is growing. This is a 'nice guy' who wanted everything women always say they want. And he was willing to deal with any and all crap that came their way. He didn't run when she got pregnant, he didn't ditch her because of her mental issues. Yet, here he is, alone, with their kid, while she's heading back out to 'find herself' (i.e. take as much **** as she can), footloose and fancy free.
I cried the first couple days. Not so much for my failed relationship but because I know she will take our daughter. I'll miss out on all these days I love, waking up and seeing my daughter each and every morning. Also, what is MGTOW?
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