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I am trying really hard to get over this. I know he doesn't think about me for a second. I am over 40
and have dated a few guys but it never goes passes the first date. I have tried OLD but it has not worked. I don't have that many friends even though I try. It's so hopeless. I feel like a loser. I must have a guy repellent. I work out everyday and watch my weight. I must be cursed to be alone forever!!
I am trying really hard to get over this. I know he doesn't think about me for a second. I am over 40
and have dated a few guys but it never goes passes the first date. I have tried OLD but it has not worked. I don't have that many friends even though I try. It's so hopeless. I feel like a loser. I must have a guy repellent. I work out everyday and watch my weight. I must be cursed to be alone forever!!
I'm really sorry that you are feeling this way right now. This feeling will pass and you'll get some clarity on your situation.
I am trying really hard to get over this. I know he doesn't think about me for a second. I am over 40
and have dated a few guys but it never goes passes the first date. I have tried OLD but it has not worked. I don't have that many friends even though I try. It's so hopeless. I feel like a loser. I must have a guy repellent. I work out everyday and watch my weight. I must be cursed to be alone forever!!
Apparently, he does think about you if he still calls you. Just not in the right way. He doesn't care about your wellbeing. He needs a verbal punching bag and since you still answer his calls-tag! You're it!
I agree with everyone else. Stop taking his calls. It sounds like you're lonely and a little desperate. He senses that, which is why he calls you. If you allow him to treat you like poop, he will.
As far as dating, think of it this way, at least you get the first date so you're drawing them in. It's something you're doing afterwards that could be putting them off. Do you engage in conversation? Not just give yes or no answers. Do you ask the guy about his interests? I know some of us shy folks can come across as disinterested or snobby. Do you talk about marriage and kids on the first date or past relationships? You don't want to talk about marriage on the first date cause it's way too soon, and don't talk about past relationships because guys don't want to hear about your baggage. Keep the conversation light and fun. Think about your first dates and see if there is anything you can improve upon. On the other hand, it may not be you. It maybe that there just isn't any chemistry.
I agree with everyone, you need to quit him, cold turkey, block all forms of contact & go treat yourself to a nice cup of whatever you like. Hugs. This guy is a real jerk. He is also sadistic, treating you like how a cat plays with a mouse. You deserve better.
I am trying really hard to get over this. I know he doesn't think about me for a second. I am over 40
and have dated a few guys but it never goes passes the first date. I have tried OLD but it has not worked. I don't have that many friends even though I try. It's so hopeless. I feel like a loser. I must have a guy repellent. I work out everyday and watch my weight. I must be cursed to be alone forever!!
Well you sound like a great catch to me some guy is gonna be a real lucky man to have.
you know , l know the age thing is scary , l wound up divorced 49 and just thought wtf , yknow. over 4yrs ago .
Bt sad ,well because l just don't think we can make it happen because one of us will have to move countries, but l met the absolute mind blowing love of my life near 3yrs after the divorce.
And she was 47 at the time, so there , smoke that , ya just never know.
But now l guess actually ,l feel a bit like you are because we still just couldn't find a way of making it happen and now l'm older and well, yknow.
But l'll never regret and always be so t hankful for our 18mths, and not only the times we had but them showing me that anything can still happen.
Strangely , on that side of things and us breaking up , she doesn't seem at all threatened at being out there again at 49now. She says she just doesn't care about anything new if we're not gonna work out.
She'd come out of a divorce too around the same time as me, maybe she just doesn't realize yet how hard it is to find someone new so special these days , where as l'd already had a little taste of it before l met her.
But op it can happen and does all the time , so try not to be too hard on yourself eh.
And good luck with everything.
Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 8 days ago)
35,633 posts, read 17,968,125 times
Reputation: 50660
Quote:
Originally Posted by Muffy1
I am trying really hard to get over this. I know he doesn't think about me for a second. I am over 40
and have dated a few guys but it never goes passes the first date. I have tried OLD but it has not worked. I don't have that many friends even though I try. It's so hopeless. I feel like a loser. I must have a guy repellent. I work out everyday and watch my weight. I must be cursed to be alone forever!!
It's time, Muffy. It's actually way past time.
Here's my suggestion. Put this stage of your life to rest. Create some kind of ceremony to put it to rest. For example, draw a picture of him, write him a letter (that you won't send), play songs from your relationship, gather up any momentos you have of him, put all this stuff in a pile and get rid of it ceremoniously. You can burn it, you can throw it in a river, you can drive out to a beach and bury it in a dune. Now. You're done.
Whenever the thought of him crosses your mind, have a pre-planned topic to think about instead. When you think of him, IMMEDIATELY then throw him out of your brain and go to your preplanned thought. What's for dinner. What will you wear tomorrow. What was the nicest moment of your day so far. Anything that you can immediately retrain your brain to think about besides this guy.
So. A couple years ago I was at a family reunion. Someone mentioned having gone to church and in the bulletin was a former girlfriend of an old uncle of mine. (He was in his 80's, but quite the lady's man in his time). So we thought it would be a lark if we took the uncle up to the hospital to see her - recovering from minor surgery. She was so sweet. They hadn't seen each other in 50+ years. She told him she never married, because she never got over loving him. Good God.
Get help. Right now. How many more years are you going to waste longing for this anal sphincter? You need to get out and get a life.
And if I was in your place, the next time I heard from him I would tell him the next time he calls I am telling his wife. And that's exactly what I would do. But chances are that would get rid of him forever.
I am trying really hard to get over this. I know he doesn't think about me for a second. I am over 40
and have dated a few guys but it never goes passes the first date. I have tried OLD but it has not worked. I don't have that many friends even though I try. It's so hopeless. I feel like a loser. I must have a guy repellent. I work out everyday and watch my weight. I must be cursed to be alone forever!!
Honey bear don't ever again call yourself cursed. You just have not met your match yet. I bet if you stop looking for a person to be with they will drop into your life unexpectedly. Just live your life and find your own interests and inner happiness...focus on you and I bet that match of yours will just happen along when you least expect it.
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