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All the people talking about losing IQ here, for me it's the exact opposite. I come here and I look and realize god damn I'm semi-normal and half way intelligent.
This place boost my self-confidence on that level.
I've been posting here for a long time now and over the years I've seen some people come and go and some of these people claim how perfect their life is how perfect the relationships are and how everything is just ducky.
I think what annoys some people is that there is an inherent disengenuineness behind some of that stuff. I post some good things about Mrs. Chow but I don't dote to the point of nausea. I'll say that just like any other couple that has been together a long time there are ups and downs and everything isn't always "perfect"
That brings a certain level of reality and truth to posts by people that can openly admit that hey, sometimes things aren't perfect and yeah and in fact we are human and we have differences and frankly faults.
We have a family member like this, her whole world is perfect and the marriage is perfect and the kids are just perfect and they have the white picket fence with the dog blah blah blah at least on her social media. It's crap. The family members know what's up and see the warts and all.
It's that difference and the phony front that many people put up. LOL.
I actually love a good story and positive outcomes that you sometimes see here on CD. The problem is more often it's more negative stuff you see here.
Well, also, for what it's worth... If you are in a relationship that is mostly good, generally good, and worth keeping, but you have this one problem (my present relationship has a couple of quirks, though it is on the balance the best I've ever had and I wouldn't trade it for anything) you might not wish to share it because it might be personal. And everyone ought to know, after your ability to edit expires, these comments are pretty much here forever, on an easily Google-searchable public forum. So if I have one complaint about my lover, but it's something he might not be happy about me blasting all over the internet, I'm not really going to share it here.
I shared a lot of stuff about my ex, but he'd lost all of my respect a very long time ago, and hence a lot of consideration regarding what I put "out there."
I personally believe everything that timberline might choose to say about his love life, because I could tell you some stories that would sound like something out of a movie. I've had some pretty amazing experiences, and like timberline, many of them would defy what people think is "the way all of this works." As to whether he is happy with his life choices, if he says he is, why not? Why would anyone have more right to judge than he does; it's his life!
Most of the time when I refer to my own personal story (at least these days) it's just to try and illustrate my perspective enough to establish that I have some personal knowledge or experience that relates to the subject, that I know of what I speak. I can speak to abusive relationships, I was in one. I can speak to marriage and divorce, been there and done that. I can speak to polyamory, I did that and know quite a number of others who still are doing that. That kind of thing.
Now if anybody wanted to assume I was just making it all up, because they have never seen or experienced such as I describe, well, that's on them. I know how futile it is to try and persuade people on the internet to change their minds about things.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,974,024 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonic_Spork
I personally believe everything that timberline might choose to say about his love life, because I could tell you some stories that would sound like something out of a movie. I've had some pretty amazing experiences, and like timberline, many of them would defy what people think is "the way all of this works." As to whether he is happy with his life choices, if he says he is, why not? Why would anyone have more right to judge than he does; it's his life!
Not sure how I came into this. But like most people, I like some parts of my life, and like other's less. Made some good decisions and some bad ones. Today, I'm very happy professionally, but having moved to a new city 4 months ago I'm finding it a challenge socially. Thankfully I've had friends visit me fairly often, but yeah, it's a challenge.
I've lived in a bunch of different states/cities, and I just don't see what gets posted here. Both men and women date a lot, have lots of sex, and while plenty of people find loving, healthy, relationships, it often takes a long time to find. That time before they find it (if they ever do) can be up, down, or all over the place. My life is pretty average for a single person of my age from all I see.
I just don't run into the misogynists, gold diggers, sex haters and shamers, adult virgins, etc etc that are so often on here in real life.
Not sure how I came into this. But like most people, I like some parts of my life, and like other's less. Made some good decisions and some bad ones. Today, I'm very happy professionally, but having moved to a new city 4 months ago I'm finding it a challenge socially. Thankfully I've had friends visit me fairly often, but yeah, it's a challenge.
I've lived in a bunch of different states/cities, and I just don't see what gets posted here. Both men and women date a lot, have lots of sex, and while plenty of people find loving, healthy, relationships, it often takes a long time to find. That time before they find it (if they ever do) can be up, down, or all over the place. My life is pretty average for a single person of my age from all I see.
I just don't run into the misogynists, gold diggers, sex haters and shamers, adult virgins, etc etc that are so often on here in real life.
The only reason is that I pushed back when someone said they didn't believe the things you said.
Frankly I don't see much point in disbelieving what a poster says about themselves, especially if they've been around a while and the story does not change.
It's those who show up once in a while, and describe something wacky, and then vanish...they are easy to spot...you're not one of 'em.
Not everybody has the same bad luck in the world of dating, I guess. Doesn't make ya a liar.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,974,024 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonic_Spork
The only reason is that I pushed back when someone said they didn't believe the things you said.
Frankly I don't see much point in disbelieving what a poster says about themselves, especially if they've been around a while and the story does not change.
It's those who show up once in a while, and describe something wacky, and then vanish...they are easy to spot...you're not one of 'em.
Not everybody has the same bad luck in the world of dating, I guess. Doesn't make ya a liar.
I don't have much luck in dating, IMO. It's pretty average. Lots of dates, fewer connections, some flings, but something serious has been a challenge to find. That's true for the vast majority of middle age adults I've met. It only makes sense that real connections are harder to find than casual or fleeting ones.
Nothing I say really seems unusual. What is unusual that I read here are the people hating on things like OLD, or guys saying women want commitments and abhor casual sex, or you have to be a top 20% guy and/or a big earner to get a date., or women liked bad boys in their 20s and now want a paycheck that they're not attracted to. That's the weird stuff on here.
I just don't see it. Never have. Almost every guy and gal I know that is single uses OLD and all have dates regularly from them.
I wouldn't say it's just the stories from the women, but there are almost no happy and content men on here. While I don't disagree that dating is much harder for men than women, on balance, the ratio of seriously unhappy men is not as high in real life as it is on here.
I don't have much luck in dating, IMO. It's pretty average. Lots of dates, fewer connections, some flings, but something serious has been a challenge to find. That's true for the vast majority of middle age adults I've met. It only makes sense that real connections are harder to find than casual or fleeting ones.
Nothing I say really seems unusual. What is unusual that I read here are the people hating on things like OLD, or guys saying women want commitments and abhor casual sex, or you have to be a top 20% guy and/or a big earner to get a date., or women liked bad boys in their 20s and now want a paycheck that they're not attracted to. That's the weird stuff on here.
I just don't see it. Never have. Almost every guy and gal I know that is single uses OLD and all have dates regularly from them.
I'm about the same as you, and I'm in my mid 20's. Average to above average at best.
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