I am lost with this guy, need help (wife, married, woman)

[CarolineNJ]

Hi, everyone. I would like you to help me decide what to do with my problem, cause this situation is bothering me and I need to make up my mind about it. Two years ago I met the guy and we exchanged our numbers. He started texting me right away and upon our conversation, he told me he isn't interested in long term relationship and I need to know that. Well, I wasn't interested in long term relationship either, so we were cool about it. Then we hooked up a couple of times in his parent's house, and that was it. He was always texting me first, and pretty much every day. After about a year, he was sending me pictures, and I saw a wedding ring on his finger, and he confessed that he got married. But he still wanted to see me. Obviously, this news changed the whole dynamic of our relationship, and I told him we cannot talk anymore, cause it's cheating and I don't want to be part of it. He kept texting and after couple months I gave up and started responding. Nothing crazy, just friends, but he started going that direction again and asking me to meet up. I cannot do that, and told him, but he doesn't understand. He says he misses me, how he made a mistake with his wife and all that crap. He texts me every day, and I cannot take it anymore. But since I really like the guy, I have a hope maybe one day we can be together. Lately, I am thinking of texting him again and telling him how we cannot do this anymore and block him. But that little hope I have is eating me inside, what if we can be together, what if he would leave his wife. I am ashamed of my thoughts and would like your guy's opinion. Thank you.

[RC01]

It's not going to happen, and even if he did leave his wife, there's no indication that he'd want to commit to you. Stop responding to him and block his number. Having no contact will help you move on faster.

[thinkalot]

So you have hope that some day you will be an adulteress?

You know you should block him after your last text being you will tell his wife if he contacts you again. But you won't because you live in fantasy land.

[CarolineNJ]

I guess I am living in fantasy land. I am just curious if any woman actually thinks it's possible to keep in touch with him until he falls in love? or it's impossible?

[hawaiiancoconut]

Don't be so gullible. This is a player you dont want to be in love with.

[CarolineNJ]

Thank you, I am not. I just don't want to burn bridges, cause he is a cop and I am planning to be a cop in his agency, really don't want bad blood between him and me.

[DontH8Me]

Originally Posted by CarolineNJ

Thank you, I am not. I just don't want to burn bridges, cause he is a cop and I am planning to be a cop in his agency, really don't want bad blood between him and me.

You're shifting the goal posts. First you want to know if he will ever really leave his wife for you, now you say you plan to eventually work with him and don't want bad blood?

You have to decide if you are ok with being the plaything of a married man. Your relationship with him will make your chances of working at 'his agency' slim to none.

[CarolineNJ]

I am not ok with it. But for right now, I cannot take his texts anymore. I want to be with him, but obviously, it's impossible.

[hawaiiancoconut]

Originally Posted by CarolineNJ

Thank you, I am not. I just don't want to burn bridges, cause he is a cop and I am planning to be a cop in his agency, really don't want bad blood between him and me.

I see, you're still holding on to that sliver of hope ^ that's just an excuse to keep in contact with him, ("as friends") many would claim .

This is a bridge you want to burn, immediately.

[CarolineNJ]

I am starting to understand it. I can't believe someone can keep in touch every day for two years, without any feelings. He put me in this hard place where I have to cut him off, someone that I am so used to talking every day.