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So sorry to hear that.....You said it yourself...you no longer trust him and you probably never will.
Take care of yourself and your child..sounds like he missed out!
Will I have to give it a try again and just cross my fingers that he will never cheat on me? I am still afraid of trusting him... I don't know what I could do if he hurt me again for the third time.
trying to forgive the despair of someone who violates your trust, respect, and moral values, is...to me, one of the most difficult tasks that one can do. While I am never for suggesting to anyone to leave their marriage, as I feel, no matter what any of us tell you, it still comes down to your decission and when your ready to make that decission....when you've had enough.
To me, especially being so soon after you were married...and now again....this is a pattern that he will not break unless he goes for help. My question would be, what in the world did he do before you were married?
Whatever happens, please know, that unless you can get him into counseling...I don't believe he will stop...and also, never ever blame yourself for this, or allow him to blame you for his behavior...ever....it is a difincency on his part....low self esteem, insecurity issues....or, maybe his father ran on his mother? Sometimes men who do this, have very little respect for women...maybe his mother was mean? Whatever the problem, you didn't cause it...and you don't have to tolerate this..
Remember, anyone he sleeps with, you sleep with to, so your health is in jepordy as well....
My deepest heartfelt hugs go out to you...many of us here have been thru this...and we know how emotional, brutal and the great despair it causes.
I think you have to ask yourself, "What do I want and need" and you'll have your answer...follow and trust your own heart song, trust your own morals, and most of all...know, you deserve so much much more!!!!
Me, I could never tolerate it...and wouldn't to this day...
Besides cheating on you how is he?, I mean is he just horny or is he an ass?, most times men like that are so charismatic, everyone is drawn to them and they are attracted to opposites for the long haul. If he is still with you by his own accord he does love you and probobly doesn't even really know why he cheats. If hes trying to hide it hes ok, if hes cheating on someone close to you and rubbing it in your face get rid of him. We all have our little fantacies and some of us cross the line into reality. Help him stop, become the dominant one by bringing it up and talking with him like its a big joke. If she has big thighs or a big ass laugh out loud about it, beleive me hes taking this more serious than you and trying to figure out whats the right thing to do. Maybe hes comparing the two of you and can't decide, if he can't figure it out and its so obvious to you that you can laugh about it then he will abandon his own thoughts and side with you always. Manipulate this into the life you want. If you change nothing then everyone is right, he will cheat again. The differance between love and lust is: Love is something you could walk away from at any time but crap like respect and understanding and beleif keep you there. Lust is a vicegrip you know you should walk away from but its like trying to quit smoking and unless something goes horribly wrong its a roller coaster ride to your demise.
Besides cheating on you how is he?, I mean is he just horny or is he an ass?, most times men like that are so charismatic, everyone is drawn to them and they are attracted to opposites for the long haul. If he is still with you by his own accord he does love you and probobly doesn't even really know why he cheats. If hes trying to hide it hes ok, if hes cheating on someone close to you and rubbing it in your face get rid of him. We all have our little fantacies and some of us cross the line into reality. Help him stop, become the dominant one by bringing it up and talking with him like its a big joke. If she has big thighs or a big ass laugh out loud about it, beleive me hes taking this more serious than you and trying to figure out whats the right thing to do. Maybe hes comparing the two of you and can't decide, if he can't figure it out and its so obvious to you that you can laugh about it then he will abandon his own thoughts and side with you always. Manipulate this into the life you want. If you change nothing then everyone is right, he will cheat again. The differance between love and lust is: Love is something you could walk away from at any time but crap like respect and understanding and beleif keep you there. Lust is a vicegrip you know you should walk away from but its like trying to quit smoking and unless something goes horribly wrong its a roller coaster ride to your demise.
Take it from older, experienced ones. He will do it again. Even he said he was weak. But nonetheless, weak or not, he will cheat again because he isn't taking the time to value what he has, and that is everything.
He's cheated on you twice already, probably even more than that. If you can live with a cheat, go for it. If not, leave. Common sense.
I don't think it was a surprise to you he cheated, I think you knew it but were denying it. People can tell when they're being cheated on because of the signs and the red flags. I don't believe it was a surprise to you and if he was such a good husband, he never would have hurt you like this.
I'm sorry to see anyone having to go through this mess. Leave him now and pull yourself together.
Take it from older, experienced ones. He will do it again. Even he said he was weak. But nonetheless, weak or not, he will cheat again because he isn't taking the time to value what he has, and that is everything.
last year, I was cheated on by my husband and it was such a surprise. My husband and the other girl even ran away at that time for 2 nights and 3 days. I never really thought he could do such thing to me. He was a good husband before it happened. He told me that it wasn't really my fault, he just was too weak. After that, he went back home and asked for another chance. The other girl never really stopped then and he even filed a case against my husband. (she is a minor only 17). but my in-laws settled it ( I guess they payed her money.)
It was such an embarrasment... and to think we just got married on that same year when it happened. I was even pregnant when that happened. After forgiving him, he did it again. The second time he did it, I planned to move out. Our relationship has been on rocks since and now, he reassures me every now and then that he will never do it again.
We're still together but I admit, I never see him as I used to see him. I totally adore my husband and I loved him true, but I really wanted to have someone who not only loves me but also respects me as well.
Will I have to give it a try again and just cross my fingers that he will never cheat on me? I am still afraid of trusting him... I don't know what I could do if he hurt me again for the third time.
I'm sorry to hear of your heartache. I find that when I trust people (or want to trust people) who have proven to be untrustworthy that is a sign that I have some inner work to do. I wish you many blessings and love on your journey.
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Boot him
