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I never ignore my girlfriend, I listen to her concerns. To be fair, my old friend has jealousy issues that I think stem from her mental illness, and it has caused some turbulence in our relationship.
I think your girlfriend is making a reasonable request. My experience is that it is quite common in a serious relationship where an opposite sex 'friend' is pushed into the acquaintance category. Daily contact with an opposite sex friend can send a message that you need that relationship because something is absent in your girlfriend relationship. I think the opposite sex friend should be very understanding of your need to distance yourself in order to respect your girlfriend. That other friend will still be there if your relationship with your girlfriend doesn't work out, but she must know that she belongs on the sidelines now. If she doesn't respect that, then she doesn't respect you.
I never ignore my girlfriend, I listen to her concerns. To be fair, my old friend has jealousy issues that I think stem from her mental illness, and it has caused some turbulence in my current relationship with my girlfriend.
Giving up friends isn't a requirement for a successful relationship. Anyone coming in at 3 months, demanding that, is someone you should probably call it off with.
You mention this friend is causing problems due to her jealousy. How so? They could both be bad news for you, unfortunately.
Is your friend doing things that are not in your best interest when it comes to your GF?
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So the "friend" has jealousy issues regarding you and you feel it is part of her mental illness?
And you speak to her multiple times a day, every day, via telephone and text messages?
Sounds like SHE is your girlfriend to me, the other one in name only
Unless I am missing something.....
Mental illness or not, we have lots of friends and Id have no issue with him communicating with a friend.
But certainly this is far beyond what "friends" do. It's an enmeshment that is typical of a romantic relationship. This isn't good.
I wouldn't cut off your long distance friend but certainly put it into a FRIENDship. Meaning talk with her every few days or so. But not perptuate the Relationship you seem to be having with her.
That is if you like this new girlfriend of yours. This certainly seems strange. JMHO. Good luck and I hope it works out for you
From my own experience with people, that would make me give you the side eye.
I can't count how many times I've heard people say "Oh we're just friends," and it turned out to be much more. Then again I associate with a lot of members of the opposite sex and nothing has ever happened with them.
So it's a tough call. I think both feelings are justified here.
Does your friend know that you two are JUST friends and there is no chance there will be anything more?
I had a female friend whom lived with me for a year, and is a bit mentally ill. We were not sexual, although she did want to be sexual. Now she lives in another state and we communicate daily. I care a lot for her.
Now, my current girlfriend doesn't want me speaking to her at all. Is this right for her to ask of me?
While I am the FIRST person to say people who are against opposite sex friendships are immature, insecure losers, I am also the first to stay away from and expect my spouse/partner to stay away from anyone with obvious mental health issues.
I had a female friend whom lived with me for a year, and is a bit mentally ill. We were not sexual, although she did want to be sexual. Now she lives in another state and we communicate daily. I care a lot for her.
Now, my current girlfriend doesn't want me speaking to her at all. Is this right for her to ask of me?
Your gf is right in this situation. If she was just a female friend, there would no issue, but since this other chick wanted to be sexual, you should not be talking to her. I would not appreciate my bf taking to a girl who wanted to get in his pants.
So the "friend" has jealousy issues regarding you and you feel it is part of her mental illness?
And you speak to her multiple times a day, every day, via telephone and text messages?
Sounds like SHE is your girlfriend to me, the other one in name only
Unless I am missing something.....
Mental illness or not, we have lots of friends and Id have no issue with him communicating with a friend.
But certainly this is far beyond what "friends" do. It's an enmeshment that is typical of a romantic relationship. This isn't good.
I wouldn't cut off your long distance friend but certainly put it into a FRIENDship. Meaning talk with her every few days or so. But not perpetuate the Relationship you seem to be having with her.
That is if you like this new girlfriend of yours. This certainly seems strange. JMHO. Good luck and I hope it works out for you
OP:
I agree with this.
And the fact that your female friend has a mental illness and wanted to be sexual with you in the past, and yet you continue to contact her every day even though you have a "girlfriend"?
No.
Just no.
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