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This was an exact experience of mine when I was much younger. It actually happened AT LEAST 3 times off the top of my head. Women are finiky creatures and just because she doesn't want to be sexy now does not mean that she won't in 5 minutes. You have to respect their boundaries but that is very different than continuing to test those boundaries. An adult woman is more than capable of ending romance at any time. They are the gatekeepers. The fact that any of this "mating dance" so to speak is being remotely compared to abuse is just terrible. The idea that a woman isn't in control of her own sexuality is a disservice to equality and the idea that women are strong and independent. It's like a woman getting a man to buy her lots of dinners, drinks, and gifts only to leaving him with no sex. We don't blame the woman in that instance do we? We blame the guy for the "giving in". At any point he could have just blew her off and walked out but he didn't. Same exact thing.
You have a point there.
But why would he be dating her? Just to get sex? Is that all she is to him?
But why would he be dating her? Just to get sex? Is that all she is to him?
Well, I'll be blunt and say that when I'm dating someone sex is generally a part of it at some point. Otherwise we're friends and in that case I'm not treating for dinners, drinks, etc on a regular basis... It's not an either/or situation.
I should also add: This place can be really bizarre when it comes to relationship talk. Half the crap that pops up on here I've never, ever, experienced in my dating life. Especially all the sex hang ups. Usually the women are as amped to have sex as me and sometimes more so. Too many people on here act like sex doesn't just happen and doesn't happen freely and frequently. Women in the real world don't go around wearing chastity belts and yes, they do like sex and they even understand that sex and dating go hand in hand. This really isn't that hard of a concept. Some of you guys are just making this WAY too much of an issue.
Well, I'll be blunt and say that when I'm dating someone sex is generally a part of it at some point. Otherwise we're friends and in that case I'm not treating for dinners, drinks, etc on a regular basis... It's not an either/or situation.
Yes. Sex is part of it. But it's not the only objective is it? It's not for me anyway. If I didn't want sex I would go out with the boys, fishing or something.
Don't get me wrong, I love sex! With my lover! I want to feel that excitement with that girl I am dating. I need to be turned on by HER. A woman is not a sperm disposal unit.
If I want her it's because I like her and want to share things with her.
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Originally Posted by Foggy HalfNelson
I should also add: This place can be really bizarre when it comes to relationship talk. Half the crap that pops up on here I've never, ever, experienced in my dating life. Especially all the sex hang ups. Usually the women are as amped to have sex as me and sometimes more so. Too many people on here act like sex doesn't just happen and doesn't happen freely and frequently. Women in the real world don't go around wearing chastity belts and yes, they do like sex and they even understand that sex and dating go hand in hand. This really isn't that hard of a concept. Some of you guys are just making this WAY too much of an issue.
Well, yes. We are talking extremes.
In reality I would say we are way more relaxed in real life.
Yes. Sex is part of it. But it's not the only objective is it? It's not for me anyway.
I don't have "objectives" when dating. I do what feels right. If that involves sex, sex it is. If I'm not into the girl, I don't care either way. Sometimes we work, sometimes we don't, but I never go into a situation expecting anything other than to have a good time with her and see where things go. Whatever that entails. Again, these aren't mutually exclusive things.
But, as I often say around these parts, do what works for you & makes you happy!
Location: In the cold, dark wasteland of eternity...
926 posts, read 673,709 times
Reputation: 1525
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Originally Posted by Jimmy_wuz_here
And here comes the white knight! seriously? an abuser? This is why real rape and real sexual abuse don't get taken as seriously as it should. If it was seriously "abuse" she would have kicked him out or left herself not continue to do the exact same thing that led to this sexual escalation. It's sad that some guys are willing to throw their whole gender under the bus just to try and score some points.
Um, excuse me, who are you to accuse 303 of 'trying to score some points'? Score points with whom, exactly?
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If making moves aka (pushing hard) is abuse that would make at least 50% of guys abusers. The fact is that women will almost never make the moves and token resistance "we have to stopppp" is pretty much normal to anybody who has had sex with a large number of women. In fact is more surprising when a woman doesn't put up any resistance when half naked and turned on.
Making moves is NOT the same thing as "pushing hard" for sex. The first one is foreplay, the second one is a guy being a totally disrespectful douche that refuses to back off when the woman tells him no or gives him clear and obvious signals that he NEEDS TO STOP. See the difference? Of course you don't.
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An absolute NO is to be respected but not confused with just token resistance. No woman wants to seem too easy. If she wants to stop the foreplay all she has to do is stop. But if she wants to keep making out then expect the game to be still on. This is something that shouldn't even need to be talked about really, it's a non issue. If a woman feels uncomfortable all she has to do is be a big girl and hit the brakes.
And stop calling it "token resistance". Maybe it's a 'token' to YOU, but rest assured, it isn't JUST a 'token resistance' to the woman who wants him to STOP, period. When a woman is a "big girl" and does "hit the brakes", some guys STILL keep going...because they have the exact same twisted mindset that you have.
But why would he be dating her? Just to get sex? Is that all she is to him?
It's a dude, he's probably sky high on brain chemicals lusting for her with a giant erection. I doubt he's thinking about what type of flowers she might like while this is going down. Making out is sex foreplay. It's like putting a piece of bread in front of a starving person and telling them they can't touch it.
So would you say a young woman on her first date who doesn't say stop at first because she is liking it then suddenly finds herself being forced into and left bleeding and pregnant is Ok? That was his modus operandi. Trick the girls into a position they couldn't stop him from.
I had a girl naked in bed once. We were doing everything but the actual sex. I had her under me, in position, all I had to do was penetrate. She suddenly said stop when she realized it was that close. I stopped. I respected her boundary! I was her first sexual experience.
We never did have full sex but plenty other stuff for several years. She just did not want to go all the way.
By the way, I don't push women for sex. I don't need to. I seduce them.
Seriously? That's a straw man argument. Nobody is talking about a teenage girl on her first date jeez man. If a woman says stop you have to stop plain and simple, but that doesn't mean you have to put your pants on and walk out. That's a huge mistake/
And here comes the white knight! seriously? an abuser? This is why real rape and real sexual abuse don't get taken as seriously as it should. If it was seriously "abuse" she would have kicked him out or left herself not continue to do the exact same thing that led to this sexual escalation. It's sad that some guys are willing to throw their whole gender under the bus just to try and score some points.
If making moves aka (pushing hard) is abuse that would make at least 50% of guys abusers. The fact is that women will almost never make the moves and token resistance "we have to stopppp" is pretty much normal to anybody who has had sex with a large number of women. In fact is more surprising when a woman doesn't put up any resistance when half naked and turned on.
An absolute NO is to be respected but not confused with just token resistance. No woman wants to seem too easy. If she wants to stop the foreplay all she has to do is stop. But if she wants to keep making out then expect the game to be still on. This is something that shouldn't even need to be talked about really, it's a non issue. If a woman feels uncomfortable all she has to do is be a big girl and hit the brakes.
What is wrong with you??? do you have ANY idea how hard it is to even SPEAK for a woman, when she's aroused?? arousal is simply stimulation..it doesn't mean yes. If she said no at any point, whether she's challenging taht or not, play it safe and back off. This is why men need to study up on women's sexual biology so you have a clear knowledge of what consent is. Please, FFS, go read up on women's sexual biology before you end up in jail for rape
The best sex I had was when I was ALL about tearing a guys clothes off from the get go and there was no need to "pressure" me. I'm sure I speak for many other women here about that.
Seriously? That's a straw man argument. Nobody is talking about a teenage girl on her first date jeez man. If a woman says stop you have to stop plain and simple, but that doesn't mean you have to put your pants on and walk out. That's a huge mistake/
I think I get what you're getting at. But for me a woman is a precious creature to be loved and cherished -
and respected. When one of them likes me and wants me and can't keep her hands of me .... well - what can I say? I'm putty in her hands.
What is wrong with you??? do you have ANY idea how hard it is to even SPEAK for a woman, when she's aroused?? arousal is simply stimulation..it doesn't mean yes. If she said no at any point, whether she's challenging taht or not, play it safe and back off. This is why men need to study up on women's sexual biology so you have a clear knowledge of what consent is. Please, FFS, go read up on women's sexual biology before you end up in jail for rape
Thank you mir.
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The best sex I had was when I was ALL about tearing a guys clothes off from the get go and there was no need to "pressure" me. I'm sure I speak for many other women here about that.
Stop it! Have mercy on us - we are mere mortal men out here!
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I'm putty in her hands. 
