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Honestly I never really found her attractive, when I met her I just got out of a relationship and was kinda desperate and had bad luck with girls that week, and she was just there, so I went for it. I know it sounds bad, but it's the truth
yes it sounds bad... if you considered her a friend, you wouldn't have used her in that way.
Too late now..
Just simply tell her that what you two have isn't what you want for yourself or you are not comfortable with it. Then leave it at that. (Certainly don't say anything hurtful.. like she isn't attractive to you).
Something tells me you may be the one more in to her than she into you. If you really think that low of her you wouldn't be on here asking advice. I never really trusted any guy who can think someone of a league or two under them. Just a weird thing to think. Especially if she is a FWB that being a friend.
Just cut her loose and leave her alone. She will be the one dodging the bullet.
Maybe, just maybe, there is actually some value to being a bit more old-fashioned in dating and courtship? Like maybe really getting to know and respect and have tender feelings for someone before getting into bed? I am not a prude, but as I get older it does seem that many of the older rituals of courtship actually worked better for the way humans actually are.
I thought the point of FWB was that these kinds of conversations didn't have to occur.
When people have sex, they develop strong feelings about each other - usually feelings of attachment and commitment. This is how nature tries to ensure that our young have parents to raise them. If you try to avoid this, sooner or later one person will get attached and if the other one tries to break things off, the attached one will be hurt.
Wouldn't it be better for the feelings of all concerned to see if you have strong tender feelings of attachment for each other before you fire up the attachment-creating engine of sex, which is so powerful? As I get older I am increasingly skeptical that true casual sex can really exist.
I thought the point of FWB was that these kinds of conversations didn't have to occur.
That's the case if people do FWB as it was intended, which is people who are actually friends who then decide to have sex. It has to develop organically.
When people meet and immediately try to be FWB instead of a relationship, it doesn't usually work.
I got into a FWB relationship and now I want out. The girl didn't do anything wrong, but honestly she is a league or two below me and I just don't really find her attractive. When I got into this I was hurting over my ex and wanted anything to take my mind off of her, but now my mind is clearer. I don't find her attractive, to the point that it's hard to even get excited for her. How do I tell her that I don't want to do this anymore? In a way that is not rude, preferably
Honestly I never really found her attractive, when I met her I just got out of a relationship and was kinda desperate and had bad luck with girls that week, and she was just there, so I went for it. I know it sounds bad, but it's the truth
Once again for those on the forum: There is no such thing as a FWB situation.
Repeat after me: There is no such thing as a FWB situation.
You might think it's FWB. But it's not. Because when two people start getting naked and bumping uglies, one of them is going to become attached. It's virtually inevitable. Unless it's two complete sociopaths getting together, one of those persons will eventually develop feelings for the other.
So now, there's going to be a price to pay. You'll have to go through a bunch of phone calls and generally awkward situations because of your roll in the hay. Later on, you'll regret that you essentially used someone.
Next lesson. Sex is fantastic. STDs and unexpected pregnancies are not. And the problem with just casually banging anyone who is convenient is that you might wind up with a souvenir of your weekend of fun. You know, the kind that doesn't respond to penicillin or requires 18 years of child support payments. I can't tell you how many guys I've met who wound up with a kid when all they wanted was a weekend special with some girl.
Second-to-last lesson. She is not a couple of notches below you. She is a person who deserves your respect. Who thinks like that?
Final lesson. I'm not a Bible thumper. I'm not saying that pre-marital sex is bad, far from it. What I am saying is that there are far more important things in life than an orgasm. Your health, your financial standing, your self-respect, your reputation, and a whole host of other things. And when you kind of go out and bang someone because you were desperate, you'll be leaving a lot of damage in your wake.
I thought the point of FWB was that these kinds of conversations didn't have to occur.
I think people who believe this are incredibly naive. Maybe there should be an Orgasm Fairy in the pantheon beside Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny.
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