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My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 2 and a half years and generally, things have been great, we'll hang out all the time, usually 2-3 times a week. But he'll only see me if I'm happy and doing something he wants to do. I'll ask him to go to a party with my friends and I but usually he'll refuse or I'll ask him to go on a date but he will never feel like it. Most often I'll just suck it up and stay home with him because that's what he'd rather do. This year I invited him to pick out a Christmas tree with me and my family but he didn't want to so he went home and came back to my house after we were done picking it out and decorating it.
Today though I was really upset over a problem I've been having and randomly started crying when he was at my house. I don't usually cry in front of him because I know he doesn't like it but this time I just couldn't help it. My boyfriend immediately said he didn't feel like hanging out anymore, but I asked him to stay a little longer because I'm one of those people who likes company when I'm upset. He stayed for 5 more minutes because I asked him to but I could tell he didn't want to stay and thought I was ridiculous. He left after that and I haven't tried talking to him since. We'll usually make up after things like this happen, but I just don't know. It's like he expects me to be happy all the time and doesn't want to listen to my problems. He says he loves me all the time and everything is great when it goes the way he way he wants.
Does this mean he doesn't care about me? There could have been an easy solution to this problem but instead, he made it worse. Again, we've been on good terms recently, but I can't help but feel like he doesn't want to deal with me. I've tried talking to him about this before but he won't try to have a serious conversation about it, the only time I can ever get him to express his feelings is through text messages. I love him, and couldn't imagine my life without him and want to figure things out but I don't know if that's what's best.
I need advice on what to do!!
Last edited by belleconfus; 12-29-2017 at 03:58 PM..
He sounds dismissive, nonchalant, non-empathetic, and insensitive. Are you being abused? Mentally maybe. Hard to say.
However, it's up to you to decide whether or not you want to continue this relationship.
Btw:
Is this you?
[URL="http://www.city-data.com/forum/relationships/2864039-my-boyfriend-doesnt-know-how-console.html"]Boyfriend doesn't know how to console me....[/URL]
He would never physically abuse me, mentally is what I meant. And no that isn't me.
Maybe. I'm always the one trying to make plans. Also, I'm always the one telling him about my day and trying to figure things out but he never does the same. I'll ask him how work went and he'll just say a simple "fine" or "good" but that's all I'll get. If I ask more questions then he'll just get annoyed and claim that I'm too clingy to what he's doing but I actually just want to have a regular conversation.
Despite everything, I do see that he's trying. He'll be the first to apologize after he realizes he did something wrong. Usually, though the exact same thing will happen again in the future.
He wouldn't make me happy, he sounds selfish, and both my husband and I do lots of things for the other one we don't want to do, and we are a good sport about it. Why? Because we want the other one to be happy.
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He wouldn't make me happy, he sounds selfish, and both my husband and I do lots of things for the other one we don't want to do, and we are a good sport about it. Why? Because we want the other one to be happy.
I'm happy when he makes an effort for me. I love the small things he does for me, like buy me food and acknowledge what I want occasionally. I'm only unhappy with situations like this one.
How would you recommend trying to fix this? Because I'm willing to put in the effort to have a healthy relationship but I'm not quite sure if he is.
Really this is mental abuse? Wow... he may not be interested in your family and friends but that is not abuse.
I wasn't saying it was... Everyone has different opinions. A friend of mine suggested that it might be and I read different articles online before I finally decided to post in a forum.
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