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Seems to me that some women like these chivalrous gestures, some dont and some take offense when those are extended to them, with good intentions. The difficulty is, that just the same way that men have a hard time reading ever so subtle queues, body language etc when you like the guy, it turns out we cannot read minds and be able to tell how a chivalrous act would be received. Again, for most men its something we do instinctively, not something we meditate about. We know that you want that guy "that just doesnt need to be told or it doesnt count" but we are not mind readers. Because of this, i think that any woman showing displeasure, huffing and puffing or saying something nasty to a man who opens a door for her, pulls out a chair for her at a restaurant or walks on the traffic side of the sidewalk - is a nasty, miserable person. Don't worry ladies, a time will come when no men will treat you any better than they treat other men - but its not here yet. Good Luck with all that and enjoyment of the male privilege that is coming your way.
i think that any woman showing displeasure, huffing and puffing or saying something nasty to a man who opens a door for her, pulls out a chair for her at a restaurant or walks on the traffic side of the sidewalk - is a nasty, miserable person. Don't worry ladies, a time will come when no men will treat you any better than they treat other men - but its not here yet. Good Luck with all that and enjoyment of the male privilege that is coming your way.
You come across as quite pleasant yourself.
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Seems to me that some women like these chivalrous gestures, some dont and some take offense when those are extended to them, with good intentions. The difficulty is, that just the same way that men have a hard time reading ever so subtle queues, body language etc when you like the guy, it turns out we cannot read minds and be able to tell how a chivalrous act would be received.
This, though, is an obvious, but good (for this forum), point.
Don't read more into gestures than is there
These "old school mannerisms" don't mean much, good or bad.
Don't worry ladies, a time will come when no men will treat you any better than they treat other men - but its not here yet.
If what you are saying is true - that men are currently treating women better than they treat men - I wish that rather than "withdrawing" niceties from women, they would be kinder to other men.
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Originally Posted by John1981
Good Luck with all that and enjoyment of the male privilege that is coming your way.
You also make a lot of posts along the lines of this one
So, how does this work?
Should we treat people as individuals?
Or stereotype them?
I have never said anything different. I have said, repeatedly, it a dynamic of my husband and myself. I have never said other people should behave in any certain way. As long as both people are happy, who cares who does what?
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If what you are saying is true - that men are currently treating women better than they treat men - I wish that rather than "withdrawing" niceties from women, they would be kinder to other men.
Looking forward to it!
men cannot be nice to other men. Term "nice", is synonymous and originated from term "stupid" - bet you didnt know that little factual nugget! men compete with other men, as nature intended. Men who win this competition, get to have their pick of the female- form plenty of available ones. You would like to believe that we have advanced so much that human nature should no longer matter, hack Id like to believe that too - but in reality, is how this works.
Again, if a guy's genuinely a nice guy, he won't mind doing chivalrous things simply because HE LOVES HIS WOMAN...not because he thinks he's expected to do certain things. For you guys out there who don't care, then you don't care & sure, they'll be certain women out there who'll still date you because...someone always will like someone out there. Women flocked in line to marry serial killer Richard Ramirez when he was on death row too.
For all you guys out there who love your woman, don't you LIKE doing polite, chivalrous things for her or not? I'd think you'd WANT to because that's your special person & you're her special person. Your partner isn't just some random person down the street.
Again, women should do their equal share of nice things too if their man is kind, respectful, etc. w/ them. (If their man isn't, they shouldn't even be dating them.) For example, let's say either the woman OR guy is about to go into the kitchen to get something for themselves, I'd hope that person will have the decency to ask their partner, "Do you want anything while I'm going to the kitchen to get something to drink?" So, it's not only the big situations or when people are watching that one should act right. It's also during the most mundane, minute, everyday situations as well.
Last edited by Forever Blue; 01-08-2018 at 04:31 PM..
men cannot be nice to other men. Term "nice", is synonymous and originated from term "stupid" - bet you didnt know that little factual nugget!
The word "john" also means toilet.
It also is derived from the Hebrew word "hanan" meaning "gracious"
You don't come across as particularly gracious, and I'll let you decide what you have in common with a toilet, so maybe what a word used to mean isn't particularly relevant to how it is currently used.
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men compete with other men, as nature intended. Men who win this competition, get to have their pick of the female- form plenty of available ones. You would like to believe that we have advanced so much that human nature should no longer matter, hack Id like to believe that too - but in reality, is how this works.
You might have missed the chapters in human history where cooperation also played a role
Again, if a guy's genuinely a nice guy, he won't mind doing chivalrous things simply because HE LOVES HIS WOMAN...not because he thinks he's expected to do certain things. For you guys out there who don't care, then you don't care & sure, they'll be certain women out there who'll still date you because...someone always will like someone out there. Women flocked in line to marry serial killer Richard Ramirez when he was on death row too.
For all you guys out there who love your woman, don't you LIKE doing polite, chivalrous things for her or not? I'd think you'd WANT to because that's your special person & your her special person. Your partner isn't just some random person down the street.
Again, women should do their equal share of nice things too if their man is kind, respectful, etc. w/ them. (If their man isn't, they shouldn't even be dating them.) For example, let's say either the woman OR guy is about to go into the kitchen to get something for themselves, I'd hope that person will have the decency to ask their partner, "Do you want anything while I'm going to the kitchen to get something to drink?" So, it's not only the big situations or when people are watching that one should act right. It's also during the most mundane, minute, everyday situations as well.
I'm going to ask "why" again because this missive doesn't have a thing to do with the question that I asked.
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Originally Posted by CBeisbol
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Originally Posted by Forever Blue
some duties, such as pumping gas, mowing the lawn, taking out trash, & other more physically strenuous, or messy, etc. duties SHOULD be done by THEIR MAN if they have a man to do it.
Why?
Hopefully, FB will answer the question that I actually asked and hopefully no one will tell me how this is me not liking the answers to the questions that I'm getting.
The word "john" also means toilet.
I'll let you decide what you have in common with a toilet.
You might have missed the chapters in human history where cooperation also played a role
What's amusing about this post is that I'm specifically asking people not to post about this in relation to themselves. They're not able to. And you think I'm the narcissist. Who said they were?
Also
Now that the personal insults part of the post is finished. Wasn't a personal insult What?
Isn't that a double standard? No.
If so, why do you have this double standard?
Or your going to claim that you don't have a problem with the guys you described here
And why this double standard?
Why do you assume that a guy who allows a woman to pump her own gas doesn't contribute to the relationship in other ways, but a woman who doesn't pump gas, does? Why would you assume she doesn't?
Great
So, in regards to your other post, if you saw a woman pumping gas while a man sat in the car you would assume that he was a lazy ******* and not assume that she was trying to make him feel special or BEING NICE TO HIM. Why?
Whose business is it anyway? Ask if they need help, if not, move on.
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Who said they were?
