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I texted a girl after a couple of dates that altho she was nice and everything, I just didn't feel there was a connection between us, and that I didnt want to go out with her anymore. I thought I did it really softly, I even said "I hope you can find a sweet guy" at the end. Instead of taking the rejection like an adult I just got cursed out...wtf. It was three f'ing dates, and it was pretty obvious that there was no chemistry between us. Why can't people just handle rejection normally?
Did you two have sex? I promise I'm not implying you did or anything like that. I just know sex always clouds the waters in these things.
It was three dates. There are some things you just don't do via text or email.
It depends on how they interacted, though.
If they always communicated via text, it's not unusual that he would end things that way.
I believe, though, that texting makes it very easy for people to throw accountability out the window, which is why some don't hesitate to put you on blast via text if you **** them off by hurting their ego.
Not saying it's right, just that the protection of being behind a screen emboldens them.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle
It depends on how they interacted, though.
If they always communicated via text, it's not unusual that he would end things that way.
I believe, though, that texting makes it very easy for people to throw accountability out the window, which is why some don't hesitate to put you on blast via text if you **** them off by hurting their ego.
Not saying it's right, just that the protection of being behind a screen emboldens them.
I've dated people months, if not years (one, for years it was email or texting), and electronic communication was 100% of the outside date communication. This is a very personal thing.
I've dated people months, if not years (one, for years it was email or texting), and electronic communication was 100% of the outside date communication. This is a very personal thing.
Right. If you ONLY text and then out of the blue he calls to say, "This isn't working," or, even worse, sets up a date to then say, "This isn't working ..." it would be weird. People get hired and fired via text nowadays. It can be done well, and it should be handled gracefully.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 49ersfan27
Nobody likes being rejected. But her response was unacceptable and volatile.
I texted a girl after a couple of dates that altho she was nice and everything, I just didn't feel there was a connection between us, and that I didnt want to go out with her anymore. I thought I did it really softly, I even said "I hope you can find a sweet guy" at the end. Instead of taking the rejection like an adult I just got cursed out...wtf. It was three f'ing dates, and it was pretty obvious that there was no chemistry between us. Why can't people just handle rejection normally?
I'm sorry that that happened to you.You did the right thing and keep on doing the right thing.Some people just tend to take it personally...it's like you're telling them that there is something wrong with them...at least that's what they're thinking.They get insulted.I don't know why some people are like that.This is why many people just either vanish or lie to their faces.You did the right thing by being honest about how you felt without being rude to them...oh well...There will always be people who will lash out at you for being honest..even if you're being honest in a compassionate way.
You don't break up a relationship via text or email. I think that is fair. The problem with that is that three dates don't make a relationship.
Yeah, with you on this one.
I know that ending something via text seems callous to some people (mainly older), but this is how the dating scene is nowadays. An exclusive relationship should absolutely not be ended via text but when you are casually dating through Tinder, Bumble or other apps/sites then it is common to only talk through text at the beginning (as timberline said). So I do not think it disrespectful of the OP, unless for some reason they were more serious after three dates and the OP is misrepresenting the situation. I don't think that is the case. He at least had the decency not to ghost her, I'll give him that.
It is natural to be upset after being rejected, but it's in very poor taste to lash out that way after that. A simple reply of "I'm disappointed, but thanks for telling me" would have sufficed. Then you can rage in private or with friends.
OP, I think what you did is okay, I just wouldn't say "I hope you find a sweet guy" at the end. And I would never say "good luck" when telling someone you no longer wish to see them. (not that you said good luck) I think both of those things sound too patronizing.
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