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Honestly, I have never met (in person) a man in his 30s who has never dated. Not even the most introverted or socially awkward man.
I also don't know that I've ever met a man who literally refused to approach women and instead relied solely on them approaching him. Every guy I've ever known has tried to pull the moves on at least...somebody. With that said, I do know a good few relationships that started with the woman approaching, sometimes aggressively. But even then, it wasn't like it was because the man refused to make moves and just stood there waiting for a woman to approach. It's just because in this particular dating instance it was the woman pulling the moves.
Sometimes these are pretty subtle - as others have said, just by being in your vicinity kinda-sorta-accidentally on purpose; or making comments, sending a lot of texts, or whatever - and sometimes they aren't as subtle. I mean women do literally ask men out. Again, this I've seen from personal experience and I've done it once or twice, though I don't prefer it.
But I DOUBT I'd do it toward a man who was just standing there like an Easter Island head. I don't think that's much different from the man's POV, either...I'll bet men are much more hesitant to approach a totally uninterested woman than one who is looking their way, smiling or being at least in some way encouraging.
Honestly, I have never met (in person) a man in his 30s who has never dated.
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Originally Posted by JBT1980
Neither have I except myself lol.
Hi fellas! Nice to see you. To see you, nice.
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Originally Posted by JerZ
I also don't know that I've ever met a man who literally refused to approach women.
Well now you have. The difference between m'self and the chap you describe is that I don't expect anyone to approach me and would fly like a thief if they did.. I enjoy social situations and the company of women, but looking for one or more to date is off the table.
Well now you have. The difference between m'self and the chap you describe is that I don't expect anyone to approach me and would fly like a thief if they did.. I enjoy social situations and the company of women, but looking for one or more to date is off the table.
But...you're on a relationships (romantic relationships) board?
I have stopped making the effort in trying to date so have broke off from it. I think a difficult thing for men is social media has given the average fertile age woman the attention and options of a rock star which has skewed the dating game too much and further fuels ego and expectations. At the click of a button women can line up endless dates and that's without leaving the house. It's no wonder men deal with so many flakes.
In the dating game today women are the rock stars and men are the groupies vying for their attention. This only flips back over for the top percent of men (men like the actual rock stars) who women will chase after.
I have stopped making the effort in trying to date so have broke off from it. I think a difficult thing for men is social media has given the average fertile age woman the attention and options of a rock star which has skewed the dating game too much and further fuels ego and expectations. At the click of a button women can line up endless dates and that's without leaving the house. It's no wonder men deal with so many flakes.
In the dating game today women are the rock stars and men are the groupies vying for their attention. This only flips back over for the top percent of men (men like the actual rock stars) who women will chase after.
I am a woman I don’t have it as easy as you claim here when it comes to dating .. in face struggling ..
Does this mean you don't utilize tinder, bumble, etc?
Does this mean you never approach?
Does not approaching also mean you don't start conversations within your extended social circle (by far the easiest way to meet women.)
Does this mean you never put yourself in situations where you can meet women?
At the end of the day, the generality is thus: Men are active in searching for a partner, women are passive. If you don't "actively" interact on some level, put yourself out there, or talk to women first without them initiating conversation, you're going to struggle.
I was approached by women when I was in my 30's, and I'd say I was at best slightly above average looking and arguably didn't even have my life together. (How can a woman tell that when she approaches you, anyway?) Even now in my 40's I get approached on occasion (moreso online, but also in person occasionally). I do know how to carry a conversation and actively listen to women, which helps.
If I were to limit myself to the women who approach me, though, I would have FAR fewer options than I do when I'm willing to approach women, even though the latter means having to deal with rejection.
The way I think of it is that most women who are interested in me I am not interested in, and most women I am interested in are not interested in me, so the potential partners are in the relatively small area where those two groups intersect. That's still plenty of potential partners, though, as long as you have access to a large pool.
Last edited by SkylarkPhotoBooth; 01-19-2018 at 04:26 AM..
Do attractive women without children generally directly approach men. No. Not often. Are there exceptions? Of course.
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But even then, it wasn't like it was because the man refused to make moves and just stood there waiting for a woman to approach. It's just because in this particular dating instance it was the woman pulling the moves.
