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Does this mean you don't utilize tinder, bumble, etc?
Does this mean you never approach?
Does not approaching also mean you don't start conversations within your extended social circle (by far the easiest way to meet women.)
Does this mean you never put yourself in situations where you can meet women?
I don't use Tinder or any other dating app, site or service.
I never 'approach' with romantic intentions in mind because I don't have any.
I'm open to meeting and starting conversations with new people. If my relationship status comes up I'll make it clear I'm not looking and will friendzone myself if necessary. Game over before I've learned the rules, just as it should be.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,723,992 times
Reputation: 41381
Quote:
Originally Posted by RedWings18
Do attractive women without children generally directly approach men. No. Not often. Are there exceptions? Of course.
Exceptions yes. But most don't approach because simply they don't need to since they will usually have plenty of suitors without having to lift a finger. It is the far below average women who really need to approach or no guy will look their way.
Say you have the hypothetical single man in his 30s with good looks and his life together but he does not bother too much with chasing women and all, how is the dating life like?
Do women ever actually come to such a guy?
If you have a well-written OLD profile with good photos, you can have a great dating life.
I found that it never worked for me to contact/chase women, but a good profile attracted many - I am decent looking, and have my life together. I had to screen for the ones I actually wanted to meet (and find those who really were interested in meeting), but the women initiated contact, and many asked me out first. I just had to respond to email, and sometimes ask someone out who'd already contacted me.
Your results may depend on where you live and the number of prospects nearby, as well as on your selection criteria. I put some clear expectations in my profile of the kinds of women I wanted to meet. It was largely ignored, but I got plenty of contacts anyway.
Exceptions yes. But most don't approach because simply they don't need to since they will usually have plenty of suitors without having to lift a finger. It is the far below average women who really need to approach or no guy will look their way.
No. Wrong.
If you only knew the twists and turns that women went through to find suitable men (BTW, "far below average" for a women usually translates to "she's not an '8' and I deserve at least that because I have a job, I don't stutter and I've never done hard time"), you'd be surprised. Very surprised.
And no, this isn't because girls want "demand and have a shot with the upper 10%" or whatever red-pill stuff...just look around you at couples on the street and tell me those guys hand-in-hand with girlfriends or wives are the upper tier. They're average...hence the word. (And please let's not go the "but most guys are with women uglier or heavier than they are" imaginary route...again...open your eyes. Go to any town or city this weekend and look around. Or hell, just look around at your own family and your friends' families. Tell me with a straight face that Uncle Stu with the hair in his ears and the "when are the triplets due?" belly is and was an upper 15% but settled for Aunt Judy because she, like any other ugly typical jobless babydaddy-riddled woman, had her pick of incredibly above-average suitors.)
Greater than 50% of U.S. men are currently married; obviously, an additional percentage are dating and may even be living with someone. So let's say 70-75% of men, decidedly average (or below average) men, are hooked up.
This "all women have LOADS of way above average choices, just throwing themselves at the women's feet!" fantasies are just that...fantasies.
Most people are average and most people are hooked up. What does that tell you?
Now. As for the "not lifting a finger" part, just what does that mean? Sensible men today demand a woman who takes care of herself at least to the extent he does (and again...look around you for this one), who has quite a decent job and isn't a mooch, who is intelligent, educated and loyal...oh yeah, and under a certain age, AND beautiful. No, we in general don't act as aggressively as men. This is for many reasons, some of them cultural. But if you think a heart-achy young woman spending hundreds of dollars on clothes, makeup and hair to look like what the average guy "deserves," putting herself through school and working, going to therapy to learn not to act "needy" (ever), and combing dating sites and getting more frustrated by the minute, meanwhile going to bars and fending off 60-year-old drunks, isn't lifting a finger, what IS lifting a finger? Walking up to the man, pushing him up against the wall and announcing in a clear, strident voice, "I am sexually and romantically attracted to you. I would like to go out with you"? You'd run like hell. And you know you would, Dis.
Come on, Dis. We've been down this road. Like ninety gazillion times now.
You know what the truth is, and what reality is, simply by looking around you at most of the couples you know and see every single place you go, not to mention family reunions and friends' houses...and at work...everywhere. Give up this mindset. It isn't helping you and it's making you like women even less, and I don't think you were all that crazy about us as people to begin with. JMO.
With all these sexual harassment cases and the Me too campaign out, you are better off not approaching any woman unless you know 100% sure she's interested in you. You don't have to agree with me but if a woman isn't giving me signs to talk to her then I don't approach her and go on with my business.
Sexual harassment (to be distinguished from sexual assault) requires more than one contact. Unless you work with a woman, this is unlikely to happen as once you know she's not interested you AVOID her. And since it is generally unwise to date (or attempt to date) women you work closely with (and thus see all the time), you should really avoid that - common sense people have known about for years, even if they don't always follow it.
Problem solved! And now, wasn't that easy?!
Of course, if you want to lower your chances of dating by about 1000%, do what 49 says - wait for a woman to come up and grab you by the crotch before you make YOUR move.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,723,992 times
Reputation: 41381
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ
No. Wrong.
If you only knew the twists and turns that women went through to find suitable men (BTW, "far below average" for a women usually translates to "she's not an '8' and I deserve at least that because I have a job, I don't stutter and I've never done hard time"), you'd be surprised. Very surprised.
And no, this isn't because girls want "demand and have a shot with the upper 10%" or whatever red-pill stuff...just look around you at couples on the street and tell me those guys hand-in-hand with girlfriends or wives are the upper tier. They're average...hence the word. (And please let's not go the "but most guys are with women uglier or heavier than they are" imaginary route...again...open your eyes. Go to any town or city this weekend and look around. Or hell, just look around at your own family and your friends' families. Tell me with a straight face that Uncle Stu with the hair in his ears and the "when are the triplets due?" belly is and was an upper 15% but settled for Aunt Judy because she, like any other ugly typical jobless babydaddy-riddled woman, had her pick of incredibly above-average suitors.)
Greater than 50% of U.S. men are currently married; obviously, an additional percentage are dating and may even be living with someone. So let's say 70-75% of men, decidedly average (or below average) men, are hooked up.
This "all women have LOADS of way above average choices, just throwing themselves at the women's feet!" fantasies are just that...fantasies.
Most people are average and most people are hooked up. What does that tell you?
Now. As for the "not lifting a finger" part, just what does that mean? Sensible men today demand a woman who takes care of herself at least to the extent he does (and again...look around you for this one), who has quite a decent job and isn't a mooch, who is intelligent, educated and loyal...oh yeah, and under a certain age, AND beautiful. No, we in general don't act as aggressively as men. This is for many reasons, some of them cultural. But if you think a heart-achy young woman spending hundreds of dollars on clothes, makeup and hair to look like what the average guy "deserves," putting herself through school and working, going to therapy to learn not to act "needy" (ever), and combing dating sites and getting more frustrated by the minute, meanwhile going to bars and fending off 60-year-old drunks, isn't lifting a finger, what IS lifting a finger? Walking up to the man, pushing him up against the wall and announcing in a clear, strident voice, "I am sexually and romantically attracted to you. I would like to go out with you"? You'd run like hell. And you know you would, Dis.
Come on, Dis. We've been down this road. Like ninety gazillion times now.
You know what the truth is, and what reality is, simply by looking around you at most of the couples you know and see every single place you go, not to mention family reunions and friends' houses...and at work...everywhere. Give up this mindset. It isn't helping you and it's making you like women even less, and I don't think you were all that crazy about us as people to begin with. JMO.
So much wrong here I don't know where to start first.
First, I said suitors not average suitors not above/below average suitors, I said suitors. How desirable she thinks they are is up to her. By the way I consider far below average 2 and below.
Most women will probably have at least 1 or 2 men on occasion sniffing around for an opening to get with them. Most men don't have 1 or 2 women sniffing around like that. My overall point? A woman who ain't even trying will still likely have choices if she don't want to be single anymore than a man who ain't even trying.
So much wrong here I don't know where to start first.
First, I said suitors not average suitors not above/below average suitors, I said suitors. How desirable she thinks they are is up to her. By the way I consider far below average 2 and below.
Most women will probably have at least 1 or 2 men on occasion sniffing around for an opening to get with them. Most men don't have 1 or 2 women sniffing around like that. My overall point? A woman who ain't even trying will still likely have choices if she don't want to be single anymore than a man who ain't even trying.
Yes, and MOST of those men will be horrible matches for her. Not horrible men in general. They might be perfect...for a woman their mother's age. Or perfect for a woman who wants to be a one-and-done. Or perfect to fill a "will you be my wife so I don't have to watch my own kids every other weekend?" slot. Or perfect for "would you like to be a third? 'Cause I've always had like, this little fantasy..." Or perfect for a guy who's totally studious and quiet while she loves to grab life by the horns and go, go, go. Etc...
Because it takes time and effort for a woman to meet the right man.
Just as it takes time and effort for a man to meet the right woman.
You are the one who brought up the "well below average" (your literal exact words) thing.
Let me ask you something. Would you consider a female smoker your aunt's age looking to deck you and then wander off a "suitor"? If so, those are available to you. Go to a dive bar near closing time. Volia! Suitors. So you can never again say you have "no" suitors, if we're including "totally inappropriate dating material for you/me/whomever" in the equation. It's got to work both ways or not at all.
No, most women do NOT have one or two "suitors," desirable or not, "sniffing around" at any time. I am attractive woman and I didn't constantly have "one or two suitors" around me at any given time when I was single...unless I put myself out there. Who did have "one or two suitors" at any given time? That ONE super-hot girl out of 20. Yeah. That girl. We all know her. The other 19 of us? Not so much.
Most very hot women (a minority) will have one or two "suitors" sniffing around at any time. Not most women...not even most rather pretty, accomplished women. Period. Not by just sitting there and doing nothing.
You are just not listening. (Or...not "just" you...I'm not trying to make this be about you in particular, this is something I see repeatedly from many dudes on here. But you get the idea.) Because you literally overlook the less-hot women like they don't even exist, relegating every single one to way way way below desirable status (for many inflated reasons), you actually, literally do not realize these women exist. They are THAT invisible to you...and that is really what should tell you something.
So much wrong here I don't know where to start first.
First, I said suitors not average suitors not above/below average suitors, I said suitors. How desirable she thinks they are is up to her. By the way I consider far below average 2 and below.
Most women will probably have at least 1 or 2 men on occasion sniffing around for an opening to get with them. Most men don't have 1 or 2 women sniffing around like that. My overall point? A woman who ain't even trying will still likely have choices if she don't want to be single anymore than a man who ain't even trying.
So get society to stop calling women names for trying to get laid. Problem solved. Raise daughters to believe that sex isn't currency they must carefully save to buy the regard and loyalty of one special man. That instead it's a gift of joy they have every right to enjoy, just as much as a man has.
Oh wait. Guys still want virgins.
Virgins who "sniff around" men?
Don't really feel like ya can have it both ways.
And it's not like a gal can "sniff around" for a chance with a guy, most dudes will respond like the seagulls in Finding Nemo, only instead of saying, "Mine! Mine! Mine!" they're like, "Sex? Sex? Sex?"
Men don't really want women to act like men, and they don't want to have to act like women, but somehow want everything to change so that they have all the advantages women do, but of course none of the disadvantages.
Or, ya know, could just go play the hand you're dealt. *shrug* A lot of folks seem to get by fine doing that.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,723,992 times
Reputation: 41381
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonic_Spork
So get society to stop calling women names for trying to get laid. Problem solved. Raise daughters to believe that sex isn't currency they must carefully save to buy the regard and loyalty of one special man. That instead it's a gift of joy they have every right to enjoy, just as much as a man has.
Oh wait. Guys still want virgins.
Virgins who "sniff around" men?
Don't really feel like ya can have it both ways.
And it's not like a gal can "sniff around" for a chance with a guy, most dudes will respond like the seagulls in Finding Nemo, only instead of saying, "Mine! Mine! Mine!" they're like, "Sex? Sex? Sex?"
Men don't really want women to act like men, and they don't want to have to act like women, but somehow want everything to change so that they have all the advantages women do, but of course none of the disadvantages.
Or, ya know, could just go play the hand you're dealt. *shrug* A lot of folks seem to get by fine doing that.
You are acting like I made it that way. The dating game is ed for both genders the way I see it, I hate the rules and wonder why I even play at this point but it is what it is. I'm trying to play the hand I'm dealt but compliance with the rules does not mean I ain't going to rant about how ed the rules are.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,723,992 times
Reputation: 41381
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ
Yes, and MOST of those men will be horrible matches for her. Not horrible men in general. They might be perfect...for a woman their mother's age. Or perfect for a woman who wants to be a one-and-done. Or perfect to fill a "will you be my wife so I don't have to watch my own kids every other weekend?" slot. Or perfect for "would you like to be a third? 'Cause I've always had like, this little fantasy..." Or perfect for a guy who's totally studious and quiet while she loves to grab life by the horns and go, go, go. Etc...
Because it takes time and effort for a woman to meet the right man.
Just as it takes time and effort for a man to meet the right woman.
You are the one who brought up the "well below average" (your literal exact words) thing.
Let me ask you something. Would you consider a female smoker your aunt's age looking to deck you and then wander off a "suitor"? If so, those are available to you. Go to a dive bar near closing time. Volia! Suitors. So you can never again say you have "no" suitors, if we're including "totally inappropriate dating material for you/me/whomever" in the equation. It's got to work both ways or not at all.
No, most women do NOT have one or two "suitors," desirable or not, "sniffing around" at any time. I am attractive woman and I didn't constantly have "one or two suitors" around me at any given time when I was single...unless I put myself out there. Who did have "one or two suitors" at any given time? That ONE super-hot girl out of 20. Yeah. That girl. We all know her. The other 19 of us? Not so much.
Most very hot women (a minority) will have one or two "suitors" sniffing around at any time. Not most women...not even most rather pretty, accomplished women. Period. Not by just sitting there and doing nothing.
You are just not listening. (Or...not "just" you...I'm not trying to make this be about you in particular, this is something I see repeatedly from many dudes on here. But you get the idea.) Because you literally overlook the less-hot women like they don't even exist, relegating every single one to way way way below desirable status (for many inflated reasons), you actually, literally do not realize these women exist. They are THAT invisible to you...and that is really what should tell you something.
My point still, a woman is far more likely to have options than a man. Yes the options likely suck but sucky options beat literally no options which is what I face daily.
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ed for both genders the way I see it, I hate the rules and wonder why I even play at this point but it is what it is. I'm trying to play the hand I'm dealt but compliance with the rules does not mean I ain't going to rant about how 
