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1. Snores. No, seriously, severe apnea, snore like a whole tribe of apneated (is that a word? I'm declaring it a word) bears and gorillas.
2. Sleeping difficulties because of it, which can make me a mite tetchy at times. I try to be a smiling, gruntled person, but a lack of sleep can wear.
3. I can dwell on the past. I'm working on this, but it's still a problem.
4. What you see really IS what you get. It's not like there are unplumbed layers to be discovered. I do keep people at some arm's length, and there are things I don't share openly, but I tend to be out on the sleeve. Some women find that disappointing, because if I'm "so great" at first, I should be a real treasure once they dig deeper. Nope -- just more and more and more of the same.
5. Twice-married, one child.
6. No close family (part of that past I sometimes dwell on), and that's weird for folks who have close families. I WANT that kind of closeness, but I'm the black sheep of my family, and they're all embarrassed because most families don't have a sheep in them.
7. A lot of obscure references, to movies, music, literature, experiences.
8. I laugh at my own jokes, get so tickled that it's hard to go on talking sometimes, while some poor bloke is left awaiting a punchline.
9. Prone to sudden bouts of sex and groping, quite out of the blue. Might be a red flag for some, a green for others. Seriously, once I'm comfortable with someone and affectionate toward them I'm very physically affectionate.
10. I like to discuss, but won't back down if I know I'm right. On the plus side I can admit I'm wrong, or question when there's doubt, but I can get harrumphy if I decide I'm sticking to my guns.
11. Overweight and need to fix it. Was for a while, would like to get back to it, but I ain't pretty right now, no ma'am.
12. Can seem like I lack confidence. I don't, but a lot of people mistake a willingness to accommodate for a lack of confidence overall. Truth is I just really want folks to find a happy medium, but it's often taken quite negatively.
13. Can be temperamental if pushed. I try to be nice, try to talk, but if someone else won't back off it's like the gloves come off all of a sudden. I don't like this about myself, it should be a big red flag. (I can and will apologize afterward, but that this happens at all still bugs me.)
14. Getting old. Weird things starting to happen to my body.
15. Have a NEED to be alone in order to write and think. It's not a request. Go away, let me be. Get used to the idea.
16. Have a NEED to come out of my writing alone-ness and get social. It's not a request unless you're having your alone time, in which case I'll come back later. I list this because yeah, in my experience it's also sometimes unwelcome.
17. Can get carried away with plans, dream too big, like Chevy Chase in those Vacation movies.
18. Judgmental when I think people are being inconsiderate. Form opinions that start watching out for more of the same, and take it to heart. It's a tendency on my part to build up walls, and while I can be forgiving (genuinely), if someone repeats inconsiderate behavior it turns into that first brick. Once laid, there's no real undoing it. It takes a lot to lay that first brick, but once there, it tends to stay. I know that's not good, but there it is.
I dunno -- you folks read me, and I'm pretty much like that in real life, so many of you know my red flags or your own green ones for me.
A few that have been pointed out to me over the years:
I don't mix family, friends, and romantic partners
I like lots of alone time
I don't use social media
I generally do not talk about happenings in my life
It all boils down to valuing my privacy. Apparently that's not a good thing in the age of attention whoring.
Parents were divorced
I'm divorced
Promiscuous when not in a committed relationship
Experienced
Independent most of the time, but prefer to be coupled
No kids
Cheap drunk (when I do drink)
Successful career
Make well above six figures
Sexually assaulted more than once
... and yet, I'm a pretty awesome person for the one lucky enough to know and appreciate me.
Oh my God. I wouldn't date any of us. Not even me!
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