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And I think some of this comes from being raised differently. I was raised how I was raised, and she was raised more in the “ homework chores dinner bedtime” more stringent house
Are you guys a good match, otherwise? It sounds like it. So you need to decide if stepping up to the plate personal-discipline-wise is worth it to you. Or do you want to give up, and look for all the good cuddling and everything, with someone who was raised without much discipline. Do you think you could find that? Would it be worth it to break up with your gf, to spend years looking for that? Only you can decide.
She’ll sometimes make it, but more often than not, I’ll make it
Are you the last one out of bed? We have a rule that the last one out of bed makes the bed. It's normally me, since I'm perfectly happy to stay in bed until the coffee is made.
Don’t want to break up, we have a lot in common, food, tv, movie wise, etc
Ok, well, then, just accept the fact that you have some catch-up to do, between how your mom raised you, and most other people's reality. That's all it is. The main problem seems to be that you're feeling like somebody's holding an axe over your head, that may fall at any moment, if you slip up in some way. You need to lose that feeling. Because it's not real, and it's causing you stress. You should get used to these new habits, over time, so they become easy and routine.
OP, you probably could use a few sessions with a therapist because, based on what you said about your childhood, it's starting to sound like you could have some abandonment issues to go along with your emotional immaturity.
I do not mean that as an insult. It's just a state of mind, that you haven't fully matured to the point where you can regulate your own emotions and you can trust her to love you as you are.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle
You keep bringing up chores and requirements, and some of us are trying to tell you that it's a bigger issue than that ... it's a balance of power thing.
You need to think "bigger picture" than razor stubble.
You two need counseling.
You just wanna keep bitchin about chores? I guess you're "good" at laundry and leaving the toilet seat down ....
Stop keeping score, jeez! Let me ask you this: who cleans the bathroom, scrubs the tub and tile, and all that? Do you trade off? Or do you split the chores, and certain ones are hers, and others are yours? If you feel it's not equitable, you can negotiate that.
Stop keeping score, jeez! Let me ask you this: who cleans the bathroom, scrubs the tub and tile, and all that? Do you trade off? Or do you split the chores, and certain ones are hers, and others are yours? If you feel it's not equitable, you can negotiate that.
But also, sometimes you take on the tasks that are more important to you, so if the OP doesn't care about making beds and the SO does, then maybe that's on her to do. But that's with the caveat you don't get a free pass to not do anything, like clean the toilet or unload the dishwasher, because it's not something that you care about.
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