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I dated a girl that was Hindu for a bit. I'm a Christian. While we had a lot of fun together, had many intimate moments, etc, when we would talk about deep stuff like our reason for existence, we would see things entirely different.
Ultimately there was a deep spiritual connection that was missing, as we did not see things at the most intimate level the same.
Reasons like who we are and why we are here. Concepts like who is God. Not agreeing was interpreted as not "listening" and conflict ensued.
We both shared a love for nature, but I don't believe the mountains and trees themselves are god. As open as I was with everything with learning of her and her culture, the conflict was inevitable.
I am a Christian too. I have been dating a man who is more of a diest than akything else. It doesn’t bother me. However we are both very openminded and both of us value freedom ofthought so there is no issue with not “listening.” My ex actually had that very issue. A we were both Christians but there was some different theology and when I didnt agree it was “not listening.” I wont date someone like that rrgardless of their religion. Im addition I am liberal—I am an open theist and believe in theistic evolution, things like that, so while I do describe myself as aChristian, I don’t describe myself anymore as an “evangelical” because open theism doesnt fit that. I don’t think I would date someone with a vastly different worldview though.
Conservative mothers are the worst cause they really don't know what they are talking about. it seems that they need permission from their peers to have an opinion. Which means their advice is often a catch-all. not helpful at all. i got into a lot of arguments with my mothers advice because her advice wasn't even hers it was someone else's advice and that advice didn't suit the situation nor me it was tailored for someone in a different era dealing with different issues who dated a totally different type of person that didn't even exist in that era. Which means that her advice is USELESS!!!
i tend not to tell her anything anymore and that hurts me cause i so wanted to trust her but her advice stinks. i've lost more opportunities in life thanks to her rotten advice than i care to admit here. it's embarrassing actually. it's almost like she was sabotaging me on purpose her advice is so godawful i can't understand why someone who claims to love us lacks the ability to be neutral and put all the politics and racial stuff etc where it belongs. it's like she is closer to her pastor and her gf's than she is with her flesh and blood. it's so disappointing.
But, as i said i don't share with her anymore. her opinions have been rendered obsolete by her inability to listen to anyone but her self and adapt. she may still be alive but she belongs in a museum where she can be scrutinized by an archeologist who is fascinated by ancient relics
This kind of reminds me of how some women tend to discuss every aspect of their intimate lives with their friends and how you're not really dating a woman, your dating her friends. That would bug me and I'd probably break up with her if all her life decisions were made based on peer pressure and approval from others.
Conservative mothers are the worst cause they really don't know what they are talking about. it seems that they need permission from their peers to have an opinion. Which means their advice is often a catch-all. not helpful at all. i got into a lot of arguments with my mothers advice because her advice wasn't even hers it was someone else's advice and that advice didn't suit the situation nor me it was tailored for someone in a different era dealing with different issues who dated a totally different type of person that didn't even exist in that era. Which means that her advice is USELESS!!!
i tend not to tell her anything anymore and that hurts me cause i so wanted to trust her but her advice stinks. i've lost more opportunities in life thanks to her rotten advice than i care to admit here. it's embarrassing actually. it's almost like she was sabotaging me on purpose her advice is so godawful i can't understand why someone who claims to love us lacks the ability to be neutral and put all the politics and racial stuff etc where it belongs. it's like she is closer to her pastor and her gf's than she is with her flesh and blood. it's so disappointing.
But, as i said i don't share with her anymore. her opinions have been rendered obsolete by her inability to listen to anyone but her self and adapt. she may still be alive but she belongs in a museum where she can be scrutinized by an archeologist who is fascinated by ancient relics
Mympther isnot”the wrost.” I love both of my parents dearly. But they have a strong marriage and are going on forty years. That is admirable. But I had a very, very different experience. I do want to get married again, but there are some things I am doing differently this time and I am not in a hurry. As someone else said, my priorities have shifted in what I am looking for and what I will accept. The number one deal breaker is close-minded.
My mother isnot”the wrost.” I love both of my parents dearly. But they have a strong marriage and are going on forty years. That is admirable. But I had a very, very different experience. I do want to get married again, but there are some things I am doing differently this time and I am not in a hurry. As someone else said, my priorities have shifted in what I am looking for and what I will accept. The number one deal breaker is close-minded. And while I would like to date someone of my religion, my experience datimg recently with “Christian” men is that they are very much the opposite of open minded. That was my experience in my marriage as well. I would rather be with someone who allowed me to be me than someone who used the Bible against me or tried to use my faith against me, which happened in my marriage to a “Christian” man. I do know not all Christians are like that but I am mot willing to narrow my dating pool to the ones who aren’t. They are too few and far between. As long as aman and I can agree on how to raise children, I’m good.
Yeah def' in lots of ways.
But the first biggie that comes to mind is why bother because sadly whatever someone says at their wedding these days doesn't mean shyt and isn't worth jack anyway.
l really hate feeling like that but it's how it is.
Another sad thing marriage taught me is that anyone , anyone, can turn on you .
So unfortunately l'd sorta like to get married again but l do wonder why , what's the damn point it means nothing these days anyway.
Why would you say something like that? It DOES mean something to some people. Look around. There are people who ARE happily married.
I am long divorced, but my negative experience doesn't mean that other people's experience isn't different from mine. I know people married long-term who are happy--and so do you.
Unfortunately, you will never "sorta" find it if you don't loosen your grip on that belief.
Conservative mothers are the worst cause they really don't know what they are talking about. it seems that they need permission from their peers to have an opinion. Which means their advice is often a catch-all. not helpful at all. i got into a lot of arguments with my mothers advice because her advice wasn't even hers it was someone else's advice and that advice didn't suit the situation nor me it was tailored for someone in a different era dealing with different issues who dated a totally different type of person that didn't even exist in that era. Which means that her advice is USELESS!!!
i tend not to tell her anything anymore and that hurts me cause i so wanted to trust her but her advice stinks. i've lost more opportunities in life thanks to her rotten advice than i care to admit here. it's embarrassing actually. it's almost like she was sabotaging me on purpose her advice is so godawful i can't understand why someone who claims to love us lacks the ability to be neutral and put all the politics and racial stuff etc where it belongs. it's like she is closer to her pastor and her gf's than she is with her flesh and blood. it's so disappointing.
But, as i said i don't share with her anymore. her opinions have been rendered obsolete by her inability to listen to anyone but her self and adapt. she may still be alive but she belongs in a museum where she can be scrutinized by an archeologist who is fascinated by ancient relics
Instead of denigrating your mother for not being someone other than who she is, maybe you could grow up a little and realize that she is a prisoner of her own upbringing and societal constraints.
I am in no rush to get married again and would be totally content to live with someone till the end.
Honestly for me I am gun shy on getting remarried. IF I do it again, there will be a pre-nup because I have a lot to lose now and would hate losing it.
I think most people have a hard time growing up. Individuals in general are selfish and lack the ability for introspective reflection. Hence why it’s always somebody else’s fault that their plight ended the way it did.
When going through a divorce the person that is bitter is likely at least 50% to blame for the current situation. They just don’t want to hear it nor have other people tell them the truth.
I think most people have a hard time growing up. Individuals in general are selfish and lack the ability for introspective reflection. Hence why it’s always somebody else’s fault that their plight ended the way it did.
When going through a divorce the person that is bitter is likely at least 50% to blame for the current situation. They just don’t want to hear it nor have other people tell them the truth.
I didn’t say none of it was my fault. I fully know what I did wrong; however, I had multiple counselors tell me his issues (addiction, abuse, etc) would not change until he was willing to change then. I was SUPPORTIVEof him. In addition, I am not bitter. But I am fully aware of how costly a bad marriage can be, and want to make a wiser choice this time.
Why would you say something like that? It DOES mean something to some people. Look around. There are people who ARE happily married.
I am long divorced, but my negative experience doesn't mean that other people's experience isn't different from mine. I know people married long-term who are happy--and so do you.
Unfortunately, you will never "sorta" find it if you don't loosen your grip on that belief.
Already have 2-3 times since l divorced but l've chosen no so far for other reasons but not because of stuff like that , there's still good women around thankfully and good men, l didn't mean everyone.
Anyway l'm glad you know some happy stayers that's nice to hear, l do too but sadly it's getting worse by the day.
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