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That's my reasoning when I fear losing the friendship that I'm gonna lose it anyway.
But if a friendship can't last when people get into a relationship was it a real friendship?
It's insincere. There are ulterior motives on both sides (you're trying to find exactly the perfect way to make her like you; she's getting you to hold on and give her what she needs, never SAYING "hey, it is so patently obvious you're crazy about me, but I'm never going to become your girlfriend").
You're her "friend" only because you hope eventually she'll fall in love with you. She's your "friend" only because you make her feel wanted and are there literally no matter what she needs, without EVER actually asking her for anything - she has the easiest friendship job in the world.
It's false; it's built on hiding stuff and nobody ever actually speaking out and telling the truth.
It's insincere. There are ulterior motives on both sides (you're trying to find exactly the perfect way to make her like you; she's getting you to hold on and give her what she needs, never SAYING "hey, it is so patently obvious you're crazy about me, but I'm never going to become your girlfriend").
You're her "friend" only because you hope eventually she'll fall in love with you. She's your "friend" only because you make her feel wanted and are there literally no matter what she needs, without EVER actually asking her for anything - she has the easiest friendship job in the world.
It's false; it's built on hiding stuff and nobody ever actually speaking out and telling the truth.
You're wrong ..We've been friends for years and really do care about each other a lot ..I just fell for her recently and she just found out I like her (if she has) not even a month ago you make it seem like neither of us care about each other and we just met and weve only been using each other since we've known each other..
You're wrong ..We've been friends for years and really do care about each other a lot ..I just fell for her recently and she just found out I like her (if she has) not even a month ago you make it seem like neither of us care about each other and we just met and weve only been using each other since we've known each other..
Huh? So then what was all that about seven months ago and holding hands and cuddling in the bed and so on?
Okay. Don't ask her. Keep on the way you're going. Good night and take care!
1. OP is legitimately ugly (no good-looking 38 year old guy would have this much of a confidence issue).
2. His ugliness led him to have massive insecurity issues.
3. Therefore, he avoided the opposite sex and to avoid socializing in general.
4. Now he tries to date, but has no experience...and little social skills.
I don't know what to say, OP. It might be too late to fix these things.
1. OP is legitimately ugly (no good-looking 38 year old guy would have this much of a confidence issue).
2. His ugliness led him to have massive insecurity issues.
3. Therefore, he avoided the opposite sex and to avoid socializing in general.
4. Now he tries to date, but has no experience...and little social skills.
I don't know what to say, OP. It might be too late to fix these things.
You're not helping here.
Even if he is legitimately ugly, I've seen A LOT of legitimately ugly (lower to middle class) men have dates/relationships/procreate/etc.
I think he already has social anxiety, or actually, I know he does, because he said so, and this is what has caused his lack of success in relationships. I doubt it is about looks.
It is the anxiety that has caused this, which then has made him even less confident, and on and on in a cycle, which is why therapy is the answer. No woman and no woman's interest could have fixed this.
I think he already has social anxiety, or actually, I know he does, because he said so, and this is what has caused his lack of success in relationships. I doubt it is about looks.
It is the anxiety that has caused this, which then has made him even less confident, and on and on in a cycle, which is why therapy is the answer. No woman and no woman's interest could have fixed this.
I'm not so sure about the social anxiety. The OP has said in the past that he has socialized in groups, mixed male-female groups of friends, and that he's able to make people laugh, and be fun, but the women never see him as anything but a friend. A guy who can make people laugh is not a socially-anxious guy, unless maybe it's situational. Maybe the anxiety comes up when he needs to "break the ice" as he says, with someone, or when he needs to make romantic intentions known.
Even if he is legitimately ugly, I've seen A LOT of legitimately ugly (lower to middle class) men have dates/relationships/procreate/etc.
I think you're right on number 3 and 4.
It's good to be honest with one's self. It's possible that this girl may be super hot, which may be at least part of the reason why he is where he is.
While it can lead to momentary unpleasantness, self-awareness will ultimately help him. If people were honest with him from the beginning, that may have saved him years of emotional turmoil that he's obviously put himself through.
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