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Just as an experiment, I signed up for POF to see what my options are looking like in case my marriage falls apart. The conclusion I came to is I better make my marriage work and stay in it. I don't know if it's because it's 2018, my age (39), or location (Georgia). There was another thread about the dating culture in Georgia. Not only am I getting less than 5-10% of replies from the messages I send out, but there seems to be a lot more negativity. It's not the ladies fault, but the douchebag guys that ruin it for the good guys out there. I felt like I was better off in Jacksonville, FL in 2016 (only 2 years ago). Maybe my pics looked better than since I haven't aged well since. POF was also better in the Attic area 5 years ago, but even better was 15 years ago on Match and Emode (which no longer exists). I met many very attractive females back then. Now I don't get replies from average or even slightly below average.
You complain about bad boys ruining it for good guys, but you're married, "experimenting" on an online dating site looking for insurance on your marriage.
Just as an experiment, I signed up for POF to see what my options are looking like in case my marriage falls apart. The conclusion I came to is I better make my marriage work and stay in it. I don't know if it's because it's 2018, my age (39), or location (Georgia). There was another thread about the dating culture in Georgia. Not only am I getting less than 5-10% of replies from the messages I send out, but there seems to be a lot more negativity. It's not the ladies fault, but the douchebag guys that ruin it for the good guys out there. I felt like I was better off in Jacksonville, FL in 2016 (only 2 years ago). Maybe my pics looked better than since I haven't aged well since. POF was also better in the Attic area 5 years ago, but even better was 15 years ago on Match and Emode (which no longer exists). I met many very attractive females back then. Now I don't get replies from average or even slightly below average.
Yeah, you won't get a lot of love online if you're not very good-looking. The fact is women are on there to get guys much better looking than their own perceived looks (which is usually inflated to begin with). Or they're on there to get attention.
I don't blame men for this, personally. It's the fault of our gynocentric, anti-male society.
Sadly, whenever I read the "I'm a nice guy" thing I pretty much by now expect to hear it followed by something absolutely horrendous. "I'm a nice guy, but women are shallow and knee-jerk and they love to sleep around with jerk Chads and are entitled - even if they're obese and ugly" is a common one. (SUCH a nice guy, LOL.)
So you're saying that a man can't be both nice and truthful? Many women are very much like this in the real world. Hate to break it to you.
Yeah, you won't get a lot of love online if you're not very good-looking. The fact is women are on there to get guys much better looking than their own perceived looks (which is usually inflated to begin with). Or they're on there to get attention.
I don't blame men for this, personally. It's the fault of our gynocentric, anti-male society.
I guess that's the problem. I'm ugly now. I used to be a lot better looking even just a few years ago. Maybe the family life aged me and made me looked washed up.
Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa
I'm dying to know what her response was when you told her you weren't getting enough attention from other women and it was making you sad.
How old are you and how long have you been married?
I'm 39 and been married 2 and a half years. Maybe it's the 3rd year itch, the time that the honeymoon phase wears off. Being in the military and all the separation tends to prolong the honeymoon phase, and the military culture and environment tends to not only condone but encourage adultery. As long as you're on the ship and away from your spouse, everything was fair game. The ship was like a high school environment where I was treated like a loser because I wasn't hooking up with the girls on the ship, while the alpha male types were bragging about all the p they were getting. The ship is the reason I have 0 confidence now.
Now, I'm retired from the Navy and working from home, and I have very little interaction with the outside world. Don't get me wrong, I love my wife and she is very sweet, beautiful, and funny; but I find myself constantly looking outside the marriage for happiness. It's not so much the wife but the teenage stepdaughter that came along that could be the source of my stress and unhappiness. I try to discipline her my own way and set rules, but my wife steps on my toes and takes her side. Sometimes, they double team against me. They also both tell me that I'll never do better than my wife. One issue is the language and culture barrier because they are not American. Some people have told me my wife only married me for her green card, but what do they know.
I guess that's the problem. I'm ugly now. I used to be a lot better looking even just a few years ago. Maybe the family life aged me and made me looked washed up.
I'm 39 and been married 2 and a half years. Maybe it's the 3rd year itch, the time that the honeymoon phase wears off. Being in the military and all the separation tends to prolong the honeymoon phase, and the military culture and environment tends to not only condone but encourage adultery. As long as you're on the ship and away from your spouse, everything was fair game. The ship was like a high school environment where I was treated like a loser because I wasn't hooking up with the girls on the ship, while the alpha male types were bragging about all the p they were getting. The ship is the reason I have 0 confidence now.
Now, I'm retired from the Navy and working from home, and I have very little interaction with the outside world. Don't get me wrong, I love my wife and she is very sweet, beautiful, and funny; but I find myself constantly looking outside the marriage for happiness. It's not so much the wife but the teenage stepdaughter that came along that could be the source of my stress and unhappiness. I try to discipline her my own way and set rules, but my wife steps on my toes and takes her side. Sometimes, they double team against me. They also both tell me that I'll never do better than my wife. One issue is the language and culture barrier because they are not American. Some people have told me my wife only married me for her green card, but what do they know.
What are your goals, OP?
Personally, with a military retirement and the ability to work from home on the internet, I'd be out of the US extremely fast. You can get much hotter and younger girls overseas.
But, as you've learned, don't bring them back to the US if you do this.
I guess that's the problem. I'm ugly now. I used to be a lot better looking even just a few years ago. Maybe the family life aged me and made me looked washed up.
I'm 39 and been married 2 and a half years. Maybe it's the 3rd year itch, the time that the honeymoon phase wears off. Being in the military and all the separation tends to prolong the honeymoon phase, and the military culture and environment tends to not only condone but encourage adultery. As long as you're on the ship and away from your spouse, everything was fair game. The ship was like a high school environment where I was treated like a loser because I wasn't hooking up with the girls on the ship, while the alpha male types were bragging about all the p they were getting. The ship is the reason I have 0 confidence now.
Now, I'm retired from the Navy and working from home, and I have very little interaction with the outside world. Don't get me wrong, I love my wife and she is very sweet, beautiful, and funny; but I find myself constantly looking outside the marriage for happiness. It's not so much the wife but the teenage stepdaughter that came along that could be the source of my stress and unhappiness. I try to discipline her my own way and set rules, but my wife steps on my toes and takes her side. Sometimes, they double team against me. They also both tell me that I'll never do better than my wife. One issue is the language and culture barrier because they are not American. Some people have told me my wife only married me for her green card, but what do they know.
This is...just...whoa.
I don't think we strangers can really help you with all this. You need to start unraveling all this both individually and with your spouse in counseling. There are A LOT of issues here.
What??? LOL! What a really weird way to interpret: a guy can't be nice and paint a whole gender as horrific, sight unseen.
Women are not much different from each other. Neither are men (however, men are much different from women). So, yes, one can make broad generalizations about each gender and be right about it.
Of course, "horrific" is in the eye of the beholder. One man may look at the traits of women as a bad thing, while another man may look at them as a good thing.
I think POF is the sketchiest OLD site. Try the other ones before you beat yourself up.
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