Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,742,544 times
Reputation: 41381
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chriz Brown
Would you say that most people don't end up with their "ideal partner"?
If so. Why?
If not. Why?
Most end up settling because we are socialized that being alone is a bad thing instead of a reasonable choice if you don’t feel like making the sacrifices a relationship entails just for someone average and you aren’t that excited about.
Chriz, I'm curious. How many long-term relationships have you been in? Are your family and friends in loving relationships as well? You talk about interpersonal issues like it's all theoretical, like you've never seen it in person.
The longer you wait the more likely you are to have to settle, if getting married is your ultimate goal. The younger you are when you marry, the more likely you are to jump the gun, so to speak. Marry too early or too late and you are less likely to end up with an ideal mate. Note I said less likely, I didn't say it couldn't happen, so don't tell me you met your soul mate at 16 or 55 as if it disproves what I've said.
Would you say that most people don't end up with their "ideal partner"?
If so. Why?
If not. Why?
Settling is a relative term. There is give and take - some things are more important than others to me (and anyone). Those seeking perfection will never find it.
My favorite color is red - if his is blue then he might want a blue car that would not be my choice. Does that mean he is not my ideal partner? He sure wouldn't be "perfect" and it's questionable on whether even reaches "ideal". But he certainly might be more than acceptable if he met my other more important requirements. I'll settle on favorite color but I won't settle on a violent alcoholic....or even a Trump supporter - I have my standards!
Life is made of compromise - if you want to call it something as negative as "settling" then so be it. I'm sure my partner had to settle on me as well and I'm glad he did!
Personally, I am done with settling. I have been "in love" only a handful of times in my life and it never was mutual. The relationships I had were the result of me taking what I could, but I dont think I was ever truly happy.
It upsets me that I am alone in my life. But at the same time, when I look at other men and see the women they are married to I realize that there is just no way I could be with most of those women. So I guess everything is in the right place in the end.
At risk of offending with this analogy, I bought a new car recently. It's not the car I would have bought if I could have bought any car I wanted. But within the options actually available to me, I feel like I made a good choice, and I'm quite happy with it.
So did I settle, or did I choose wisely?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
