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In all seriousness FB stock did take a big hit yesterday and continuing today, but I was only joking about them going away. Obviously FB will be here for the foreseeable future.
We all have varying opinions about whether FB can be a useful tool in finding matches. I think there may be generational differences too.
I was surprised to hear that some prefer to do online dating than the Meetup site where you actually meet people in person. There's just something impersonal, shallow, and forced when it comes to online dating. OLD is like a kid in the candy store mentality, where in person you actually nurture friendships and form bonds. Not these fast-paced hook ups.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,974,024 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ThisTown123
I was surprised to hear that some prefer to do online dating than the Meetup site where you actually meet people in person. There's just something impersonal, shallow, and forced when it comes to online dating. OLD is like a kid in the candy store mentality, where in person you actually nurture friendships and form bonds. Not these fast-paced hook ups.
There is nothing impersonal about it. Have a brief conversation in writing, you both decide you want to meet, then you meet to see if there is chemistry and take it from there. The relationship then develops as any other relationship develops. The advantage to OLD is if you know you have some things in common before you meet and often have a good idea of social and political stances, whereas, when I meet people IRL I don't know a thing about them until we're further in.
It's just more efficient and results in far better matches I've found.
I was surprised to hear that some prefer to do online dating than the Meetup site where you actually meet people in person. There's just something impersonal, shallow, and forced when it comes to online dating. OLD is like a kid in the candy store mentality, where in person you actually nurture friendships and form bonds. Not these fast-paced hook ups.
I'm good at writing (professional experience) and have a variety of methods of winnowing the field until I have few enough viable choices to waste a minute or so writing a customized message to each. I'm very self confident so I don't feel rejection that most don't answer. I might be cutting 90% of the matches the site provides me, they might be rejecting 90% of the messages they receive. Same reject rate for both except women don't know I blocked and deleted them unless they click my profile and discover it's no longer available, and wonder why.
I often exchange a few tentative messages to see if we converse in a friendly manner, maybe ask and answer a few questions, then either my match or I suggests we exchange phone numbers. After a quick question when (now?) we move to one or more phone calls which usually ends up discussing food, restaurants, and when we will meet.
I don't see any of that as impersonal, shallow or forced.
OLD is a candy store? To me it's a pastime that I can do once or twice a day, or skip a few days, and it uniformly ends in providing me dates. In fact about 3/4 of my dates go on to second and more dates, and I'm still dating my first OLD match from January!
OLD is easy to use and I get a lot more potential matches than I possibly could at MeetUp unless I attend multiple days a week.
I'm good at writing (professional experience) and have a variety of methods of winnowing the field until I have few enough viable choices to waste a minute or so writing a customized message to each. I'm very self confident so I don't feel rejection that most don't answer. I might be cutting 90% of the matches the site provides me, they might be rejecting 90% of the messages they receive. Same reject rate for both except women don't know I blocked and deleted them unless they click my profile and discover it's no longer available, and wonder why.
I often exchange a few tentative messages to see if we converse in a friendly manner, maybe ask and answer a few questions, then either my match or I suggests we exchange phone numbers. After a quick question when (now?) we move to one or more phone calls which usually ends up discussing food, restaurants, and when we will meet.
I don't see any of that as impersonal, shallow or forced.
OLD is a candy store? To me it's a pastime that I can do once or twice a day, or skip a few days, and it uniformly ends in providing me dates. In fact about 3/4 of my dates go on to second and more dates, and I'm still dating my first OLD match from January!
OLD is easy to use and I get a lot more potential matches than I possibly could at MeetUp unless I attend multiple days a week.
I have experience writing as well. I must have tried every different slant/angle that I could in my initial email to them. I had a couple responding, rather impressed with my writing, but they would say, "Sorry, but I don't think we'd make a good match".
Yeah, if you impress them enough with your writing skills, then the smart ones will respond with a turn down. You could say the most dates I had gotten in a year was 5. That's really pushing it.
Maybe it's my location and the slew of women in my area just have unrealistic expectations. It's interesting, because I dumped online dating a year ago. But while I was on there, I'd see the same faces of the same women that ignored me.
They wind up permanent fixtures of the online dating site. I'd check in once in a while to see who is still there, and still...the same women.
The ones that did respond would eventually ghost after you try to arrange a meeting place.
So...I guess a couple of you are in the minority, because if you Google this kind of thing, you'll see a ton of men complaining about the lack of responses or women ghosting. Sometimes I wonder if they are really taking it seriously. Chances are, you are probably better than average looking, too. Which helps.
There is nothing impersonal about it. Have a brief conversation in writing, you both decide you want to meet, then you meet to see if there is chemistry and take it from there. The relationship then develops as any other relationship develops. The advantage to OLD is if you know you have some things in common before you meet and often have a good idea of social and political stances, whereas, when I meet people IRL I don't know a thing about them until we're further in.
It's just more efficient and results in far better matches I've found.
Yeah, that's all well and good, but if they don't even respond, what's the point? lol Sorry, but online dating is in my rear view mirror. ;-)
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,974,024 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ThisTown123
Yeah, that's all well and good, but if they don't even respond, what's the point? lol
If they're not responding, something in your methodology is off. It's pretty darn uncommon an active person that has expressed interest doesn't respond to a decent message.
If they're not responding, something in your methodology is off. It's pretty darn uncommon an active person that has expressed interest doesn't respond to a decent message.
Nothing wrong with my methodology, just a bunch of shallow people out there online with unrealistic expectations. Or they want only penpals or attention. That's the majority of them. Again, they have a kid in a candy store mentality.
I've had gotten responses, but they were few and far between. They'd say something like, "Thank you for the well thought out message, but I don't think we'd make a good match".
I have experience writing as well. I must have tried every different slant/angle that I could in my initial email to them. I had a couple responding, rather impressed with my writing, but they would say, "Sorry, but I don't think we'd make a good match". Yeah, if you impress them enough with your writing skills, then the smart ones will respond with a turn down.
The "no thanks" messages don't bother me but at least you can block them and not waste any more time. Otherwise you'll see them again in your future matches. I wish they'd block me instead and save one step in the operation.
Quote:
You could say the most dates I had gotten in a year was 5. That's really pushing it.
I've had about 15 matches this year, and I was inactive one month because I was sick, inactive another month because I was seeing only one lady. I expect to get another dozen matches or more before the end of the year.
Quote:
Maybe it's my location and the slew of women in my area just have unrealistic expectations. It's interesting, because I dumped online dating a year ago. But while I was on there, I'd see the same faces of the same women that ignored me.
I don't see how a location can affect womens' perceptions. I live in a major city so there is an infinite pool of singles nearby and in my age etc. parameters too.
Quote:
They wind up permanent fixtures of the online dating site. I'd check in once in a while to see who is still there, and still...the same women.
I don't see what happens to women I met OLD who didn't work out and went back to OLD, because I block the ones when we come to an impasse, even if we dated.
Quote:
The ones that did respond would eventually ghost after you try to arrange a meeting place.
One woman sort of ghosted me but she had always been nice so I didn't block her. I've seen her on the site from time to time. She must have seen me too because she sent me a message asking how I am. I switched to text and we're discussing a date next week. She was my first OLD date and we've dated dozens of times. I'm sure she'll show if she agrees to a date. I know her that well.
Quote:
So...I guess a couple of you are in the minority, because if you Google this kind of thing, you'll see a ton of men complaining about the lack of responses or women ghosting. Sometimes I wonder if they are really taking it seriously. Chances are, you are probably better than average looking, too. Which helps.
Well for once I'm glad I found myself in a desirable minority. I rate myself as a 6, just barely enough to be worth mentioning. I take care of myself (work out at gym) to artificially enhance my looks. (lol) I dress neatly and treat women nicely. I socialize gracefully.
Also, I don't see the point in complaining about something. I accept things the way the are and I work over, under, or around, or through any kind of problems that are between me and what I want.
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She was my first OLD date and we've dated dozens of times. I'm sure she'll show if she agrees to a date. I know her that well.
