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Curiously, I cannot recall the last time I saw a woman being approached by a man in any public (or even private) setting. Lots of wistful glances, but no direct contact.
On the job
Friend of a friend
Church
Music concerts
School
Usually mutual acquaintances involved. These sites you won't be able to tell as a third party observer.
Please release "MightyQueen801 walks 12 hours in NYC" walk through each neighborhood and show us THAT NOT A SINGLE MAN SPOKE TO YOU.
For goodness sake, a Meth addict 60 year old homeless Woman with no teeth in Camden NJ was being FOUGHT OVER by two 70 year homeless fellow addicts. I saw this LIVE.
Please wake up to reality. A Woman ALWAYS has options. She just may not LIKE THOSE OPTIONS. Nevertheless a Woman will always have 10x the options as a Man in the equivalent circumstance. Until the age of 70 at which point most of the Men are dead.
Yeah. Its definitely not a good feeling, but thats the way things go sometimes.
Also, some people are more sought after then others when they are single. Just another fact of life. Women will get a lot of attention usually and will have options to consider. For average guys like myself no one really bangs on our door impatiently looking for a date when we are available. So it becomes a question of being in the right place at the right time more than anything.
I figure if I were to suddenly become single for any reason, today, and if I were to "go public" with that information, like announcing it on social media or letting people at the parties I go to be aware of it...I believe I would have at least half a dozen men in my face like "OMG NOW'S MY CHANCE! DATE ME!" and I would not date any of them. This just being guys who have let me know over time that they find me very desirable.
In at least some of those cases, I can easily speak to why they wouldn't have a chance. They have known that I'm not available. They've always known that. Not only that I have someone and I'm exclusive with him, but that I am happy and devoted and there's no chance they are turning my head. But if my boundaries to them were shop windows, there would have been times they stood there, palms and noses against the glass, gazing in longingly. And at least one or two, tried to roam the perimeters of my boundaries to see if they could somehow sneak in past them. Testing.
That behavior does not feel respectful to me. It causes me to strengthen and solidify my boundaries, like reinforcing a defensive barrier, against that sort of man. And if I have put up a big, strong wall, to keep a guy out of my personal space, AND I've ever felt disrespected by him, then he has zero chance ever with me even if I do become single. I will always see him as an intruder, and want him kept OUT.
The "options" that I would consider if I became single, and would likely be partnering with very quickly, are the ones that I did not know were in fact even interested in me that way, UNTIL I became available and made it known.
And as a woman, maybe I have all this abundance, when a lot of guys don't, but I believe that being an extrovert, very active in certain social circles, is probably an even bigger contributing factor. I know a lot of men who not only aren't single for very long, but since everybody seems to have tons of options, lots and lots of people have decided to be polyamorous so they don't have to miss out on anything or choose between the exciting people they want to date.
Yeah. Its definitely not a good feeling, but thats the way things go sometimes.
Also, some people are more sought after then others when they are single. Just another fact of life. Women will get a lot of attention usually and will have options to consider. For average guys like myself no one really bangs on our door impatiently looking for a date when we are available. So it becomes a question of being in the right place at the right time more than anything.
This is what you think women's lives are like? Guys banging on the door of average Janes, impatiently looking for a date? You can't possibly be serious. I don't know if this is disappointing to you in some odd way, but the lives of average Janes are fairly similar to those of average guys like you. How many plain, average women have you chatted up, let alone asked them on any kind of date, even a coffee date?
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 07-05-2018 at 11:14 AM..
Yeah. Its definitely not a good feeling, but thats the way things go sometimes.
Also, some people are more sought after then others when they are single. Just another fact of life. Women will get a lot of attention usually and will have options to consider. For average guys like myself no one really bangs on our door impatiently looking for a date when we are available. So it becomes a question of being in the right place at the right time more than anything.
BEAUTIFUL women will. Very beautiful, young women.
It is telling that guys who feel this way about women in general, are literally not even seeing/acknowledging the women who don't have these "options" constantly. It's as if the entire rest of womanhood is invisible. That really says it all, IMO.
The AVERAGE woman does not frequently/constantly have "options to consider," unless you include "getting laid by an old drunk after 3AM" an option, or "getting decked by the fat old dude in IT who doesn't exactly have amazing hygiene" an option...but then again, nearly every man has exactly the same options. The "fat" "old" chick, the Closing Time desperate chick with the insane ex and 5 kids. So it's still a level playing field.
Average-looking women may sometimes have sexual options that men don't have but turn it around. What if your sexual options were gross women who totally turned you off? Is that still an "option"? Because what I often hear from guys around here is that "no" women will go for them or that they don't have "any" options and then it turns out that, wait, there's that 40-year-old...but...she's 7 years older...and there's the chick down the hall but she's soooooooo fat...and she swears a lot...and there's the co-worker, she's so sweet but let's be honest, there's the acne thing plus she has kids and she's not all that young...both men and women unless extraordinarily ugly, self-imposed shut-ins, have "options" that are untenable. Why is it that this then translates to, women have so many options...but guys don't have any?
This is what you think women's lives are like? Guys banging on the door of average Janes, impatiently looking for a date? You can't possibly be serious. I don't know if this is disappointing to you in some odd way, but the lives of average Janes are fairly similar to those of average guys like you.
Ohhhhh, nooo. Not in the US, Ruth. In this country most overweight, average looking chicks have incredibly inflated egos (in my eyes) and, sure enough, they do in fact have their "clientele". But back in Eastern Europe, THATS where you see the field even. In fact, back there "average Larisas" are truly experiencing things youre talking about. It is definitely harder for girls to find someone.
I read somewhere that guys like me are especially struggling with dating in America because our tastes are "spoiled" the way we were growing up. I totally agree.
Ohhhhh, nooo. Not in the US, Ruth. In this country most overweight, average looking chicks have incredibly inflated egos (in my eyes) and, sure enough, they do in fact have their "clientele". But back in Eastern Europe, THATS where you see the field even. In fact, back there "average Larisas" are truly experiencing things youre talking about. It is definitely harder for girls to find someone.
I read somewhere that guys like me are especially struggling with dating in America because our tastes are "spoiled" the way we were growing up. I totally agree.
Here we go again, with the assumption that "average" = overweight. It doesn't. I'm not talking about overweight women. And the rare overweight women I've known in my life did not have inflated egos. Extra weight tends to prevent that. And Eastern Europe has plenty of average women, just like any other population.
Ohhhhh, nooo. Not in the US, Ruth. In this country most overweight, average looking chicks have incredibly inflated egos (in my eyes) and, sure enough, they do in fact have their "clientele". But back in Eastern Europe, THATS where you see the field even. In fact, back there "average Larisas" are truly experiencing things youre talking about. It is definitely harder for girls to find someone.
I read somewhere that guys like me are especially struggling with dating in America because our tastes are "spoiled" the way we were growing up. I totally agree.
This ^ is a myth. It's encouraged by international dating sites, where the women are all over average or even unattractive U.S. men...because the women want to get into the U.S.
Beautiful women are coveted everywhere. But a beautiful girl in a poor country doesn't want her pick of suitors from her poor country (or untenable living situation there). Now, is this true of all international marriages? No, but be real. Why would a beautiful, smart woman have to go out of her own country to find just a semi-decent man? There are NO acceptable men within 6000 miles of them? I'm sorry...you're wrong...beautiful women are definitely swamped in their own countries too. Yet Ms. International Babe has to go across the globe, and specifically, the U.S. That's where she psychically happens to know her true love will appear. Hmmm.
Average and below-average women are so overlooked that statements like the "ohhhhhhhhhh noooooooo" above one can be made, apparently with a straight face. Wrong-O. Average girls are overlooked for beautiful girls constantly; you have no idea, as you've never been an average girl, I'm assuming. Women who feel "less than" do try to talk themselves up. Some have healthy self-esteem but others are talking a big talk on SM and then crying all night.
This ^ is a myth. It's encouraged by international dating sites, where the women are all over average or even unattractive U.S. men...because the women want to get into the U.S.
Beautiful women are coveted everywhere. But a beautiful girl in a poor country doesn't want her pick of suitors from her poor country (or untenable living situation there). Now, is this true of all international marriages? No, but be real. Why would a beautiful, smart woman have to go out of her own country to find just a semi-decent man? There are NO acceptable men within 6000 miles of them? I'm sorry...you're wrong...beautiful women are definitely swamped in their own countries too. Yet Ms. International Babe has to go across the globe, and specifically, the U.S. That's where she psychically happens to know her true love will appear. Hmmm.
Average and below-average women are so overlooked that statements like the "ohhhhhhhhhh noooooooo" above one can be made, apparently with a straight face. Wrong-O. Average girls are overlooked for beautiful girls constantly; you have no idea, as you've never been an average girl, I'm assuming. Women who feel "less than" do try to talk themselves up. Some have healthy self-esteem but others are talking a big talk on SM and then crying all night.
You guys realize that that's where I am from, right?
Let me put it to you this way, the way guys like myself see it. The average in US is 6.5 while the average in Ukraine is more like an 8. Soooo, the concept of average in itself is the same, but the value of that average is not. I have seen so many women here being incredibly picky about stuff and those are the kind of women I wouldn't even look at. So yeah, guess I am doomed. I want to like someone below my level of looks, but... I simply caaaant
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