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I was with my husband for 25 years and had the same as the OP. I never found it to be "hard work" during the entire time that we were together but I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that we did not have kids (by choice) so there were fewer things that could cause conflict and major differences of opinion. We never fought over money, had no family drama, no one was in "therapy to deal with whatever their issue of the day was" and we just lived our lives quietly, with a small circle of friends and were both very chill.
I never took him for granted. I looked so forward to seeing him after work every day. He went on lots of walks and if I was out doing errands, I used to park in the same spot in the Rite Aid parking lot so if he walked by and saw the car, he'd come in and meet me there. Oh how I loved to see him walk in and smile at me. It was so wonderful.
Well, he collapsed a couple of years ago and passed away after a brief hospital stay. It was very sudden, destroyed my world and continues to destroy it to this day. I am slowly getting to a point that I can appreciate what we had for so long but the grief factor has not let that completely shine through yet.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope over time you can learn to accept what happened, move beyond the grief, and be grateful for the time you had together. I would be devastated too in that situation.
After going on 10 years of marriage, I still feel the same!
I met my better half (haha) at our old work place. At first, it was somewhat difficult for me. I was very cautious about trusting and loving another after my separation with my children's mother. She taught me how to love and how it felt to be loved. But I did fall in love.
We went out on dates, to the movies and dinner. We make it a habit of at least twice a month to have date nights. By the way our work schedules fall every 3rd weekend, we're off together. We try to use that weekend to go out of town, either rent a hotel or cabin and go to flea markets or whatever we decide to do.
She's my best friend, soul mate. We're looking forward to many more years together!
Love hearing these stories. Makes me pause and think about how lucky I am in my relationship. I do sometimes take it for granted. And I am not the easiest to live with. Thanks for the reminder to treasure each day. Life is short.
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