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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,974,024 times
Reputation: 40635
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ
Well, actually, no, you have pretty consistently made blanket statements. Ruby Tuesday shows a certain type of person. Certain types of date are low-class. Things like that. However, if this is how we're going to roll, it equally should be obvious that most people are giving opinion as well. Calipoppy is being clung to as if she's the voice of all women; she's not...she's just one person on a very long thread. Continuing to pull out her statements as if they're a bigger deal than they are doesn't make much sense and almost brings things to strawman status, if we're speaking of people in general. MOST women I know don't feel the way she does to the extent she does.
It isn't about reading comprehension (oh, we're down to negs...uh-oh...the rubber is hitting the road), it's about the writing.
And I just found it ironic, that's all - so I thought I'd point it out. It makes a good point, really the ONLY point: each of us is different...telling one another what date we "should" have isn't going to change what we really like or are comfortable with.
Actually, I showed examples showing I haven't been making blanked statements. I could pull more. Pretty much everything is couched with IMO, I think, I believe, I want, etc. Or something similar.
I don't believe I ever said certain types of dates are "low class" or wanting to go to Ruby Tuesday shows a "certain type of person". Or anything similar to that. At all. The closest one could come to that is saying a person should put some thought into a location, and choosing a chain doesn't require thought and doesn't show much class. That is not the same as what you're trying to imply though.
^^ This. I am a big fan of the weekend lunch or brunch date. That way, if there is some compatibility, a couple has all afternoon to try some other activities together... in the daylight hours.
And I agree that dates need not be expensive.
Otherwise, if one or both of the people dating have real budgetary issues, then perhaps they should focus more on their career, before entering the dating pool. And for me, if a guy has permanent money issues, then he's not the guy for me. I'd want my man to be at least my financial equal. I'm not interested in being anyone's sugar momma.
The weirdest thing about all of this is that it is all about extremes - it's either a "$100 date" or it's a cup of coffee. As you point out ^ there is a lot in between.
Still think the original premise is a pile of baloney. I think that people who are spending the way the OP suggests, are probably outliers, and I'm sure there are people who spend more, and a whole lot who spend less.
I'm also sure that no one HAS to spend that kind of money if they don't want to, or they can't afford it, in order to find a partner. If you aren't good enough in and of yourself, to attract someone without breaking the bank, then breaking the bank will be of limited effect on your situation.
Some people who have wealth take pleasure in spending it, hopefully those are the kinds that ladies like calipoppy are finding, not anyone who feels they've got to buy their partner. I'm also hoping she really enjoys looking her best for fancy date nights. It's fun to dress up sometimes, heck.
I just don't like the transactional, score-keeping thing. Whether you can find truth in it or not, it's a really cynical way to look at relationships, and not a mentality that is conducive to success. (Success being happiness.)
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,974,024 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonic_Spork
I just don't like the transactional, score-keeping thing. Whether you can find truth in it or not, it's a really cynical way to look at relationships, and not a mentality that is conducive to success.
Agreed. It shouldn't be (I THINK IT SHOULDN'T BE) about keeping score like its a game. And, I find people that equate spending money on them as a sign of interested or valuation by the other person to be a turn off, and it makes me sad to hear.
My biggest problem with dating is the fact that I've kept in shape all these years. Since I'm lean and athletic looking, I would sorta like to date a woman that's the same; however, 35-40 year old women that still look good usually come with a big price tag because there's just not a lot of them out there that are single unless. 40 something guys like myself that hit the gym regularly and have kept in shape are a dime a dozen.
Yeah, dating is freaking stupid expensive after the first meeting if you want to keep an attractive woman's attention...lol
Yup. There are so many ways to get together that don't have to break the bank.
My family and I walk various towns almost every single weekend. It's just our "thing." We can easily spend an hour and a half or more doing this. You stroll slowly, talk, get an ice cream or (God forbid, I know) a coffee. Keep walking. Duck in and out of stores, see what's new in there. Stop at the nearby park and chat.
We also have loads of awesome local concerts...we rarely get there because of the kids, who aren't so into that, but the reviews are quite good and sometimes pro guests come in and make an appearance.
MOST dates won't literally be FREE. Even if you're picnicking, you're probably buying the food for the picnic, unless you stole it. You're probably paying for gas unless you walked (which many people don't live conveniently close to a chosen place enough to do) or rode a bike and showed up sweaty to the date (although that's still an option). If you take public transportation, that costs too. A literally "free" date would be tough to come by but I've rarely met the person who insisted on such a thing.
Things are taken to such extremes on this thread, mostly to prove a point...I'm not sure why. And things have gotten seriously emotional and of course the jabs have come out, because WE MUST CONVINCE EVERYONE ELSE TO BE LIKE US. WE MUST! The future of Western civilization depends on it.
People are just odd. Interesting, but odd.
Do you, and if your date likes that, that's a good start. You're on the same page about that at the very least.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,974,024 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by spider99
My biggest problem with dating is the fact that I've kept in shape all these years. Since I'm lean and athletic looking, I would sorta like to date a woman that's the same; however, 35-40 year old women that still look good usually come with a big price tag because there's just not a lot of them out there that are single unless. 40 something guys like myself that hit the gym regularly and have kept in shape are a dime a dozen.
Yeah, I don't see that. I'm later 40s now, and there are just as many in shape women in my age range as there are in shape dudes.
I am not going to bother reading all these posts, but I wouldn't want to do traditional dating either if it cost me $100 every time I did it. I am perfectly fine with a cup of coffee or something, along with some good company and conversation. It shouldn't cost an arm and a leg to see if someone could somehow fit in your life. Save the more extravagant stuff for a relationship that becomes serious.
My biggest problem with dating is the fact that I've kept in shape all these years. Since I'm lean and athletic looking, I would sorta like to date a woman that's the same; however, 35-40 year old women that still look good usually come with a big price tag because there's just not a lot of them out there that are single unless. 40 something guys like myself that hit the gym regularly and have kept in shape are a dime a dozen.
Yeah, dating is freaking stupid expensive after the first meeting if you want to keep an attractive woman's attention...lol
But since your in better shape and stand out against the average guy, don't you have your pick? Isn't SHE trying to keep YOUR attention?
Actually, I showed examples showing I haven't been making blanked statements. I could pull more. Pretty much everything is couched with IMO, I think, I believe, I want, etc. Or something similar.
You've made quite a few blanked statements in the past and will continue to do so. Most of us posters do this, nothing wrong with it.
I know you do it because some of the comments you've made stick out like a sore thumb. It's like I can't believe a person wrote this.
For example mocking chain restaurants. Yeah, you are shallow.
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Isn't SHE trying to keep YOUR attention?
