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So is Asian food. $100+ for dinner and a movie? Where is this, NYC? A good dinner and a movie for two can be had for half that. OK, maybe a little more, counting the tip, which in theory, she should offer to pay.
$100 for a modest restaurant (appetizer, meal, drinks, dessert) and movie is about par in my area. However, I don't usually like movies as a date (I'd rather interact with each other) and a dinner at a modest restaurant isn't something I do on until I get to know the person.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,995,252 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by usayit
$100 for a modest restaurant (appetizer, meal, drinks, dessert) and movie is about par in my area. However, I don't usually like movies as a date (I'd rather interact with each other) and a dinner at a modest restaurant isn't something I do on until I get to know the person.
Definitely not into movies for dates. Has to be a super rainy / glum day when we aren't feeling like anything else.
And dinner dates usually aren't during the first few dates. Still, drinks and talking can add up, as can expenses with going for walks and talking, etc.
$100 for a modest restaurant (appetizer, meal, drinks, dessert) and movie is about par in my area. However, I don't usually like movies as a date (I'd rather interact with each other) and a dinner at a modest restaurant isn't something I do on until I get to know the person.
True, if you add an appetizer, drinks, and desert. But why do all that on a first date, unless you already know the person, and really like them, and there's some mutual feeling on their part. That's different, from a date for checking out compatibility with a stranger, whether it's from OLD, or a set-up through friends, or someone you met briefly at a party, or whatever.
The article author is peddling a cliche, for their own reasons, as others have noted.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,995,252 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
True, if you add an appetizer, drinks, and desert. But why do all that on a first date, unless you already know the person, and really like them, and there's some mutual feeling on their part. That's different, from a date for checking out compatibility with a stranger, whether it's from OLD, or a set-up through friends, or someone you met briefly at a party, or whatever.
Yeah, no appetizer and no desert and its $100 including the movie, really fast, at a modest ethnic place.
Think about it, that is $60 for the food and drinks with tax. What is a cheap bottle of wine (per the leading example) at a cheap ethnic restaurant? $30? I am not sure I've seen less for a bottle. So, a noodle dish, a rice dish, the cheapest bottle, tax... $60 + tip = $72.00 easily.
A couple of $10-14 tickets depending on the place for a movie (not sure I've seen $10 outside of a special for a few years) plus tax.
We're at $100 for the evening. It's really not much money in the grand scheme. We will spend that in a day just camping more than likely.
True, if you add an appetizer, drinks, and desert. But why do all that on a first date, unless you already know the person, and really like them, and there's some mutual feeling on their part. That's different, from a date for checking out compatibility with a stranger, whether it's from OLD, or a set-up through friends, or someone you met briefly at a party, or whatever.
The article author is peddling a cliche, for their own reasons, as others have noted.
Agreed.
I'm also in a "cheaper" part of NNJ... its all relative..
I can see $100 bucks not going very far once you travel east 1 hour or even into NYC.
My take.... on one side....
The more desperate a guy is for a date, the more they are willing to spend (and the more they are not happy about doing so). Their ego and self esteem has already taken a battering and spending big is their attempt to increase their chances. In return, they get what they unintentionally asked for... high maintenance women.
On the other side....
In my personal life, I've seen sex and money used as leverage all the time.... it muddies the waters a lot. So when a lady that I already know (like the two I mentioned) clears up the waters making it crystal clear that the intent is to spend time together rather than just to spend $$, I appreciate that a lot. Let me stress... it means A LOT.
I think there are two sides of the coin here to learn from..... not just the men but the ladies as well.
With all the easily available dating advice out there, it's amazing how people still do these things wrong (it's like all the easily available information on how to lose weight, yet people continue to get bigger).
I first read of the advice to keep things very simple and inexpensive on the first few dates 18 years ago, yet many people continue to think that a first date should be an expensive five star restaurant or something similar. Who knows why, maybe to impress the other person? A first date should be something like an hour or so at a coffee shop or the like just to get to know each other.
Sure, if money is burning holes in your pocket and you just don't know what to do with all of it, fine, spend like there's no tomorrow with your dates. For the rest of us average people, spending a lot of money on every single date does absolutely nothing to make it any better, and if you feel like you need to do that, then you're doing it all wrong.
Do what you're comfortable doing; spend what you're comfortable spending (although hopefully, you aren't a cheapskate). I usually suggest a coffee date, a "quick drink", or if the weather is conducive, a bike ride or something like that. Until I get a good feel for a guy, I do NOT want to be stuck with him for an hour or more at dinner! Sometimes a coffee meeting is all it takes for me to see a person is not someone I'm attracted to or compatible with - and we're/he's only out for a couple cups of coffee and less than an hour of time. I usually will preface it with something like, "I would love to get together but I have another engagement at 7:00; are you available to grab a coffee around 5:30? That way, if I'm not feeling it, I can just say I have to get going because of my previously stated engagement. OTOH, I've had coffee with two or three men with whom I really clicked and the coffee dragged on for half the afternoon and then we went on to lunch/dinner. I met one guy years ago who I could barely understand. I didn't expect to stay long. Well, he was charming and much easier to understand in person. We met for coffee around 1:00 on a Saturday, and said our goodnights around 11:30 that night. We ended up dating for about 7 months but were just too different to make that work. We mutually agree that wasn't working and we've remained friends for over a decade! Don't discount coffee as a first date!
Great points all around! I agree in that a first date/meet up shouldn't be dinner or anything expensive. Simple is always best and more comfortable for me. And I NEVER expect the man to pay... I always offer to pay my share, split the bill.
With all the easily available dating advice out there, it's amazing how people still do these things wrong (it's like all the easily available information on how to lose weight, yet people continue to get bigger).
I first read of the advice to keep things very simple and inexpensive on the first few dates 18 years ago, yet many people continue to think that a first date should be an expensive five star restaurant or something similar. Who knows why, maybe to impress the other person? A first date should be something like an hour or so at a coffee shop or the like just to get to know each other.
Sure, if money is burning holes in your pocket and you just don't know what to do with all of it, fine, spend like there's no tomorrow with your dates. For the rest of us average people, spending a lot of money on every single date does absolutely nothing to make it any better, and if you feel like you need to do that, then you're doing it all wrong.
Come on! Nobody's been taken out on a first date dinner and movie for more than a decade! Guys even expect the woman to go dutch on a da*n coffee date so stop acting poor. I can't stand a cheap guy - if he's cheap at the start it'll only get worse.
Yeah, no appetizer and no desert and its $100 including the movie, really fast, at a modest ethnic place.
Think about it, that is $60 for the food and drinks with tax. What is a cheap bottle of wine (per the leading example) at a cheap ethnic restaurant? $30? I am not sure I've seen less for a bottle. So, a noodle dish, a rice dish, the cheapest bottle, tax... $60 + tip = $72.00 easily.
A couple of $10-14 tickets depending on the place for a movie (not sure I've seen $10 outside of a special for a few years) plus tax.
We're at $100 for the evening. It's really not much money in the grand scheme. We will spend that in a day just camping more than likely.
Oh, I see; you're including wine. Otherwise, it could easily be $30 for two dinners, $20 or so for the movies. If someone can't handle that, they can have a lunch date. Nothing wrong with that. Especially for someone you're just getting to know.
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