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I had one marriage that I went into in my early 20's, we did that a long time ago. I thought it would last forever, that's what they told me and what I wanted to believe. I was mistaken, not a great marriage and a hard hard divorce...Long story which I won't go into.
I never wanted remarriage and had 40 yrs of professions/jobs and enough bf's...and one live in. But marriage was something I never wanted again.
In my life I didn't see too many good marriages, some but not enough when I think over my life. And I am 80 now and very very content NOT married.
There are many reasons for marriage and remarriage, and went once for the reasons of a family and life together...didn't turn out that way.
I know there are many stories here.
My sister and I discussed this topic over the years and she believed her long marriage was kept alive due to the fact that she travelled a LOT in her profession and was the major wage earner. I miss her as MS got her a couple yrs ago.
A person on another group is putting out feelers about her getting married again and she's probably close to 70 I'd say. 5 children and 10 grandkids and from what we see, she has a good life but her guy has proposed....Can't imagine that for me and others have said the same thing. We know what we have NOW.
Last edited by jaminhealth; 09-05-2018 at 12:54 PM..
Marriage is a job. Its like a farm. The married couple are the farmers.
If you don't nurture it and take care of it, it will dry up, turn to dust, and everything will blow away.
If you want it to succeed and put your mind to its success, it will thrive and be the best thing you have ever experienced in your life.
There is one catch though - it only takes one farmer not putting their mind to it for it to fail. BOTH farmers must put their mind to it for it to thrive.
Its not a sentence. Either party can get out of it at anytime.
Marriage is a job. Its like a farm. The married couple are the farmers.
If you don't nurture it and take care of it, it will dry up, turn to dust, and everything will blow away.
If you want it to succeed and put your mind to its success, it will thrive and be the best thing you have ever experienced in your life.
There is one catch though - it only takes one farmer not putting their mind to it for it to fail. BOTH farmers must put their mind to it for it to thrive.
Its not a sentence. Either party can get out of it at anytime.
Getting out is a lot harder than going into marriage...and then again one may want to wrok "harder" than the other one. And so so many distractions can change all that too.
I often wonder, when one has had an unsuccessful marriage early in life, if they've deprived themselves of a good one by coloring any future ones with the experience of the first.
My poor "Duffo" brother married 4 times but finally found a women the 5th time that was able to show him that things didn't need to repeat if you didn't keep making the same mistakes....just celebrated their 20th this week.
Would I have the guts to keep doing that?Uh uh! No how !!
But I'm happy for them
Getting out is a lot harder than going into marriage...and then again one may want to wrok "harder" than the other one. And so so many distractions can change all that too.
That always seems to the case in any romantic relationship.
As for one working harder is a recipe for resentment and most often becoming a failed relationship, IME. Both need to put their fair share into the relationship.
A person on another group is putting out feelers about her getting married again and she's probably close to 70 I'd say. 5 children and 10 grandkids and from what we see, she has a good life but her guy has proposed....Can't imagine that for me and others have said the same thing. We know what we have NOW.
In that example it just illustrates that marriage has declining value as the couple gets further past child bearing age. In your example the couple (or at least the man) have traditional values. My mother and her second husband were the same. A couple decades after my father passed (and way past her childbearing age) she and her new interest got married. (Her new husband became like a second father for me.)
I'm past the age where I'd want children so I'd say "marriage" is a word that precedes "ain't happening."
In that example it just illustrates that marriage has declining value as the couple gets further past child bearing age. In your example the couple (or at least the man) have traditional values. My mother and her second husband were the same. A couple decades after my father passed (and way past her childbearing age) she and her new interest got married. (Her new husband became like a second father for me.)
I'm past the age where I'd want children so I'd say "marriage" is a word that precedes "ain't happening."
I have a friend who had one failed marriage and she and ex are still good buddies...a rare thing. She will often say, I think I need a partner...and I say, you have a good life why mess it up. If you want a male now and then, that is probably out there.
Marriage is a word ... until the first missed period.
Then it becomes a sentence.
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