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Need to do some testing. Many guys do not even know what they subconsciously find sexually attractive. Get fat again and see if anything changes, then go back to skinny and see if it changed back. Maybe try dressing younger and wear makeup, maybe he has a thing for youth. Maybe he is confused and prefers guys but does not want to accept that. Maybe he just wants to "conquer" someone and then move on.
If you experiment and find out what it is he is actually after, then you can decide whether that is a problem for you or not.
Seriously? Because....this is a normal, healthy thing for a woman to do?
So my bf of 3 years says I’m attractive and that he’s attracted to my personality, but he’s not sexually attracted to me anymore, but he once was? He kept calling it a phase and saying currently like he feels it will change. I’m feeling low about myself.So we talked and I asked if it was something about me and he said no, it’s something that he’s working through. He’s never been in a relationship this long. He was also super affectionate. Mod cut. but I didn’t push to go any further. I just let him do what he wanted but it’s still so confusing. Why do all of that if you’re not sexually attracted to me?I’m 5’2 110 lbs...never had trouble attracting men before. I actually lost 39 lbs since getting in this relationship. We live together. Not sure what to think. Need advice?
Break up. This is beyond him going through a phase. If it were a phase or rough time in his life, he would have said he's not into sex right now. Not being sexually attracted to you anymore is completely different.
He's feeling you up because you are still in a relationship with him and you let him feel you up. Ever hear about a man talk about sleeping with a girl he didn't find sexually attractive? Its disgusting, so don't let it happen to you any more. He's feeling you up because he can, not because he is confused. He is not confused. He said it plain and clear: he is not sexually attractive to you anymore.
Take him at his word and move on now. You cannot communicate, maneuver, or manipulate your way through him to get him to express himself more. You do NOT need to understand why he is not sexually attracted to you any more. It will not make you feel better, it will not give you closure and it will not help you in the next relationship.
Attraction is something that can't really be explained any way.
You mention your weight because you are internalizing it as if YOU did something wrong. As if YOUR weight isn't good enough or turning him off. What a horrible way to feel in a relationship.
Move on now. I think the damage has been done here and I would not trust this guy with my heart again any more.
Break up. This is beyond him going through a phase. If it were a phase or rough time in his life, he would have said he's not into sex right now. Not being sexually attracted to you anymore is completely different.
.
You could have a point. But the problem is, he gave mixed signals. He said he wasn't attracted to her anymore, but then he also said he felt the "phase" would change, IOW, he seemed to think it was likely just a passing phase. So what's she to think?
Seriously? Because....this is a normal, healthy thing for a woman to do?
I can't believe the advice coming out, today.
I often find much of the advice on here comical. Many times the best course of action is just ending the relationship, especially in this case where they aren't even married. I know personally if a woman suddenly found me not attractive, I'd just say adios and move on. Not that big of deal.
You could have a point. But the problem is, he gave mixed signals. He said he wasn't attracted to her anymore, but then he also said he felt the "phase" would change, IOW, he seemed to think it was likely just a passing phase. So what's she to think?
But you make some good points.
She is to think that she deserves better than this and she does.
I strongly advise she leave now. A man like this is likely to keep her in this wondering phase for as long as it serves his needs.
This is the definition of stringing along: I don't want to be with you right now, but maybe I do later.
Girls fall for this all the time because 1) we are good people and we care for our partner. So we feel that in order to be a good person we ought to give him a chance 2) because if we leave, we will feel like we were rejected, so it must mean that we are not desirable for the long term 3) we feel like it must be because we did something wrong, so we want to fix it to make the guy change his mind
What??!! R U SERIOUS????!!!! "TOO available"?! "RATION sex"?????!!!!! You crazy, bro. Plenty of guys the OP's are are up for all the availability they can get. Maybe the OP needs to find one of those. Maybe not. We don't know what's going on, exactly. But forget "rationing sex" to avoid "too much" availability! Go back to your alien planet. We don't need your kind here.
Dont pretend you dont know what I'm talking about Ruth. A lot of people "women" play games with sex to get what they want and withholding is one the main ones.
I know that's not politically correct to point out but it's a fact unlike your delusional world where everything and everybody are all the same.
Last edited by behindthescreen; 11-02-2018 at 07:56 PM..
Dont pretend you dont know what I'm talking about Ruth. A lot of people "women" play games with sex to get what they want and withholding is one the main ones.
I know that's not politically correct to point out but it's a fact unlike your delusional world where everything and everybody are all the same.
Why on Earth would you advise someone to do that?! Or was that sarcasm? Was it stirring the pot? I guess it wasn't intended as advice, though the last paragraph sounded like advice.
OK, we can ignore it, then.In the future, please flag your sarcasm with an emoji (eyeroll, or )
Dont pretend you dont know what I'm talking about Ruth. A lot of people "women" play games with sex to get what they want and withholding is one the main ones.
I know that's not politically correct to point out but it's a fact unlike your delusional world where everything and everybody are all the same.
Hmm...the question is why do guys like yourself, keep fooling with women who play games? Why would you blanket this phenomenon as a woman thing? Most people who dealt with a game player would just learn from their mistake the first (maybe second time) and seek out those who don't play games. Guess you didn't get the memo....that's on you bro. Not us.
So my bf of 3 years says I’m attractive and that he’s attracted to my personality, but he’s not sexually attracted to me anymore, but he once was? He kept calling it a phase and saying currently like he feels it will change. I’m feeling low about myself.So we talked and I asked if it was something about me and he said no, it’s something that he’s working through. He’s never been in a relationship this long. He was also super affectionate. Mod cut. but I didn’t push to go any further. I just let him do what he wanted but it’s still so confusing. Why do all of that if you’re not sexually attracted to me?I’m 5’2 110 lbs...never had trouble attracting men before. I actually lost 39 lbs since getting in this relationship. We live together. Not sure what to think. Need advice?
newness wore off. He is not an adult. Move on. Good luck to you try not to take his issues personal, though it will be difficult
He says it’s totally about him not having experience with long term relationships. His longest relationship before me was a year and he used to be a serial dater. He’s started to want to lose weight as he’s gained quite a bit
If his health is suffering that could affect his sex drive, also, is he older or young?
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Seriously? Because....this is a normal, healthy thing for a woman to do?
I can't believe the advice coming out, today.
)
try not to take his issues personal, though it will be difficult
