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I want husband's help to get rid of this stupid new guy. I jus have feelings for no reason.
Honey, you need to get a grip on your life and behave sensibly. No more affairs! They are more trouble than they are worth. Put that behind you and act as if it never happened.
Have you spoken to a therapist or a trustworthy friend about the problems with your marriage? Don’t mention the affair unless you’re talking to the therapist. Do you want to remain married? How does your husband feel?
It’s time to put effort into your long-term happiness and raising your child well. Find someone who understands you and your family dynamics. No more stupid office romance.
Can I tell my husband and ask his help to get rid of it. He already knows. He is not satisfying me.
Why don't you two discuss having an open marriage?
If you both are unfulfilled and you KNOW your marriage is not what it's supposed to be, just resolve to be friends, co-parents and roommates and figure out how to open up your marriage.
That's still not a free pass to run over everyone else's feelings, though. The guy at work has told you to stop, and you need to at least honor that.
My friends and therapist suggest me the same thing . I have to be more strong about my decision making. I find you all help me make it more sensible even if strangers. I feel sorry for myself I fell for the guy. I should not have had. But no weeping over the past. I accept the suggestion you all have . Seems very valuable. All loopholes I try are closed and say the same. Thank you all
OP, therapist offices aren't fading marriages repair shops, IMO. We don't have all the details to have an informed opinion but it sounds like your relationship with your husband has been dying for a while. I don't blame you for having an affair, people are humans and need physical attention. Now the most important thing for you is to figure out what you want, either stay in unsatisfying marriage or move on with your life.
Iron_stick:- I feel things are working out positively . My husband is cooperating and try to change the physical attention thing he can give me. I spoke with him and feel a little better. But my workplace brings me the vibe again. I am looking for a new job. . And I don’t thing this affair is a solution for anything since he strictly ignores me and insults my wants from him. He is a man who just want to flirt. It is common to their culture . But as an Indian and married woman I am a wrong victim to it . Let me see how it works with me and husband for a while and make decisions on what happens .
I am Indian woman married for 10 years n a kid with 5 years old. I know my husband for 19 years. Before marriage we had a romantic time . But in between we both went into affairs and it didn't work out so ended up marrying each other. I was least interested to marry my husband. I had a mental break down since the affair break up. I lived my life regretting on what I did in my affair n felt sorry to my present husband since then. I never had a sexual or romantice relation with my husband for last 10 years of married life. Now I have fallen into another affair ( unmarried white guy at workplace)who satisfies me but not always. This guy is ignoring me because he doesn't want to deal with a marriage breakup( although he initiated since he was attracted to me he says). I badly beg him to make me happy, most of the times later on. He is strictly avoiding me n I am not able to stop. It is tough. What should I do?
You should stop being a self-centered, self-absorbed and selfish person. You should stop lying to, deceiving and betraying your husband. You should tell you husband the truth about the affair and who and what you truly are. Your husband doesn't even know who you really are because you hide the "real" you from him.
I feel so very sorry for your husband. Please tell him the truth and set him free.
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