For those of you romantically rejected by a good friend did you stay friends afterwards? (guy, loving)
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I've only done it once and I guess we stayed friends for a little while longer after she rejected me. I wouldn't consider her a good friend, never would I consider her a good friend.
I would stay friends with someone if I got rejected by them, assuming they were already friends with me before I asked them out. If we weren't friends, I asked them out, they rejected me, then proposed friendship only? I would politely pass on that 100% of the time.
As far as your situation goes JBT, I don't think you can handle this with the woman you're speaking of. Better off to sever ties, dude.
I know this one woman that's on Match.com...she's become friends with every man she's been on a couple of dates with. Apparently, if it's "not a match" , she is okay with being friends with them.
I know this one woman that's on Match.com...she's become friends with every man she's been on a couple of dates with. Apparently, if it's "not a match" , she is okay with being friends with them.
Good for her. She might be okay with it, but I wouldn't be.
Good for her. She might be okay with it, but I wouldn't be.
Well, in an area quite lacking in single people and that's mostly family oriented, it's almost a necessity to make due for singles just hanging out together.
This is where I gotta give credit where it's due: my friend never complained to me about other men. During the time I was friends with her, she dated another man for a number of months. (I didn't keep track how many.) She didn't complain to me about him, nor did she cry on my shoulder. She kept it factual. Kind of like this:
Her: "Me and [Name] aren't seeing each other anymore. He did [something she didn't like]."
Me: "Ow. Sorry to hear that. Wanna go running in the park to take your mind off it?"
Her: "Sure." (She never mentions him again.)
Either she likes me and doesn't want to talk to me about other men, or she knows it's not right to complain to a man about other men. (Factual information is OK.) Both of which speak highly of her character.
Would it be f’d up of me to tell my friend listen I love you but it hurts me too much to hangout with you when you’re going out with another guy.. I don’t want to interfere on your relationship so don’t contact me if you’re with him
Look, you don't even have to say all of that unless she contacts you regularly. If she does, then you may want to say something to that effect, I don't know.
Shes my friend and she’s made out with me a few times after last you heard so I don’t think you’re up to date on the situation..But I just don’t want to make it seem like it’s relationship or bust with her but at the same time it would hurt me to see her with other dudes..
Hmm... I can see where this would confuse you. My friend and I have never come close to making out so it's all good.
Really, if it would hurt you to see her with other dudes, then the best thing to do would be to find another woman to be with romantically. Trust me, that will dull the pain. Also, you can be friends with your lady friend from a distance.
I think the best thing to do is date around and open your eyes to a world beyond her. I've had to do it. You might meet someone or even see someone who blows your friend out of the water.
..I’ve been told I was using her if i didn’t want to be friends with her just because she doesn’t want a relationship with me now im dumb for keeping her friendship.. I can’t win lol
It's both.
And no, there is no winning here, unless you walk away and make a stand for your own self-worth.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JBT1980
I honestly care about her as a friend..she’s been through a lot and I feel sorry for her..
Quote:
Originally Posted by JBT1980
She was physically and sexually abused as a kid so I feel like that’s why her decision making is so bad..she’s been through a lot so I feel protective of her
And that is still all about you. It's YOUR ego.
You've even talked about it here already. You can't understand why she will get with losers but won't get with you. The truth is that you see her as an easy target, low-hanging fruit, because of her problems. The desperation mindset appeals to men who still engage those hunter-gatherer instincts when looking for a woman because you assume she'll be easier to "acquire."
That's part of your motivation, and it has nothing to do with loyalty or friendship.
You're not being a friend either, because you're orbiting with the tiny hope that one drunken night she'll sleep with you and then you will have your chance.
This woman dates drug dealers while she has a teenage daughter in the house. IS that really someone you want in your life???
Snap out of it.
Oh!
Right. I remember that. I'm scared for the teenager.
And no, there is no winning here, unless you walk away and make a stand for your own self-worth.
And that is still all about you. It's YOUR ego.
You've even talked about it here already. You can't understand why she will get with losers but won't get with you. The truth is that you see her as an easy target, low-hanging fruit, because of her problems. The desperation mindset appeals to men who still engage those hunter-gatherer instincts when looking for a woman because you assume she'll be easier to "acquire."
That's part of your motivation, and it has nothing to do with loyalty or friendship.
It's about you.
To claim I don’t care about her at all and it’s all about my ego is b.s...and too say it’s because I think she’s “low hanging fruit” is also garbage I genuinely loved her.
Ego is apart of it that’s the case with most human beings getting rejected.. I’m human.. I even said that’s not her fault that’ my burden.
But as far as your points about it just being about my ego and me just going after her because she’s low hanging fruit you couldn’t be more wrong.
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