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I was with my ex boyfriend for 5 yrs. I broke up 2 yrs ago because he would not pull his weight while we lived together. We would still meet for coffee and text regularly but I didn't want him back unless he would marry me and bring in regular money. In other words, I didn't want to support him. He has started seeing someone else but still texts and wants to hang out with me. He said he wanted to move back in but I haven't seen any signs of him becoming self sufficient. The woman he is seeing is financially well off and doesn't mind paying for everything so he chose her over making the necessary changes to be with me. I am hurt to see him with another even though I didn't want him back if we weren't going to be a partnership. Now I am afraid that he will have the life with the new girlfriend that I wanted with him. Is it likely he will change for her?
Nope. He wants a well off GF who will support him. He will not change - what for, if there are women who would pay for him?
You need to decide - pay for him, or let other girls to do so.
He wants to be with you, but he wants you to take care of him, and you don't want to.
It doesn't sound like he wants to be with her beyond allowing her to take care of him, so why would he change for her, if her taking care of him is all it seems she has to offer him?
He must be meeting some sort of need for her (without him needing to meet your requirements), which makes it easier for him to be with her.
He needs to become self-sufficient for himself, not for you, nor for her. What exactly does he have to offer you if he can't/won't even take care of himself?
OP, does he know why you broke up with him? I ask that because this is a sensitive subject and a lot of people wouldn't come right out and tell the other person they're not pulling their weight.
I don't see any reason why he would change with the other woman. There's no need to.
But, if he doesn't know why you broke up with him, it's possible he might change his ways if you told him why. That said, if you've known him for 7 years and he's been this way the entire time, I think it's probably unlikely.
He's not going to change for you, he's not going to change for her. When he realizes hes ran out of women to use he may change for himself, but that's doubtful because there always seems to be a never ending supply of women who enjoy the challenge of "fixing" a man.
Take your time and allow yourself to grieve the loss of this relationship, i'm sure you loved him but you know you deserve a partner not an oversized man child.
Nope. He wants a well off GF who will support him. He will not change - what for, if there are women who would pay for him?
You need to decide - pay for him, or let other girls to do so.
This.
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