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How about considering that she was simply being honest?
She was in an uncommitted relationship and maybe thought she could also play around (since her guy hadn't committed) but realized that , as much as she enjoyed you, she just couldn't handle juggling.
I agree. I am honestly shocked by all the comments saying the woman is a cheater, player, etc. It was only one date so she was not in an exclusive relationship with the OP; so how could she be cheating??? And she ended it quickly. If they were in an exclusive relationship, I would completely agree that she was a cheater, player, etc but that wasn't the case.
I agree. I am honestly shocked by all the comments saying the woman is a cheater, player, etc. It was only one date so she was not in an exclusive relationship with the OP; so how could she be cheating??? And she ended it quickly. If they were in an exclusive relationship, I would completely agree that she was a cheater, player, etc but that wasn't the case.
From the OP;
"Like I told you I am seeing another person and waking up this morning I must admit I felt terrible."
She is seeing another person, she slept with the OP, and that is not cheating?
"Like I told you I am seeing another person and waking up this morning I must admit I felt terrible."
She is seeing another person, she slept with the OP, and that is not cheating?
It may be a casual relationship, there may be no commitment to exclusivity, it may be a relationship that has not existed for long, there may be no expectation of fidelity to just the one person, the other person may be having sex with others - all of which means it was NOT cheating in any of these instances.
"Like I told you I am seeing another person and waking up this morning I must admit I felt terrible."
She is seeing another person, she slept with the OP, and that is not cheating?
I was reading it as she was was "seeing" another person in the same way she was "seeing" the OP (I.e dating but not official). If she has an official boyfriend and then slept with the OP, then obviously that is cheating. In the quote you provided she also say "like I told you"...so if the OP knew that, then aren't both at fault
Well the way she made it sound was that it was someone she was going to blow off and had been on just a couple of dates with from a dating app. When she was in her cab on the way home she was texting me the entire journey telling me how lovely I was, how she couldn't stop smiling and couldn't wait until Wednesday (which was when we had arranged our next date).
It was only the next day when I got that text and was blocked did I realise that it must be something more serious and most likely the guy she had been seeing at the back end of last year for 3 months.
I guess the other piece of information I should share is that she may have a thing for wealth.
Her ex-husband is a rich Arab from Kuwait. She has two school-age kids with him and she even converted to Islam for him - she's not now and it played a part in the divorce as she is really an atheist.
The guy that she was seeing for three months at the backend of last year who ghosted her owned a yacht so is obviously monied. He is also a divorced father (I have no kids) so that may also have swayed her if she still is in contact with him and feels she needs to be with someone who also has kids lifestyle wise?
Whereas I am not poor by any means, I own my apartment/flat in London but it is by no means a big house and my salary is more the HR manager level (£50k/$70k-ish).
She is also an investment banker at a huge bank in London so is surrounded by wealth but is from a normal working class background and worked hard to get where she is. I think part of the reason she liked me so much on the date was because I am down to earth, soft-spoken, have a similar background to her and am quite humble whereas she mentioned a lot of the people in her life are those that perhaps don't have as much empathy or aren't as gentle minded.
I know I'm massively over analysing this after one date but I guess the fact the date seemed to go so well is part of that reason. I know I'll have forgotten her in another week or so but I guess it's just part of my nature.
So, these are the kind of people women investment bankers date? Or the kind of people good-looking women investment bankers date?
I guess you don't know anything about the guy she's with now...
But it's so interesting, that she felt super-chemistry with you, just for you being yourself. But what it boils down to, is she lied to you from the start. Which means, basically, that she only wanted to add you to the notches on her belt.
Yep I did, in the two weeks we were chatting she made it fairly clear she was fully single and was not dating others.
Then she's disgusting. A liar and a cheater. Steer clear of anyone so toxic. If someone lies once, they will like a thousand times.
Quote:
Originally Posted by wasel
So if this is the case, I’m surprised you didn’t kick her out of the house after she slept with you then revealed she was seeing someone. YOU should have been the one dumping her for lying before she ever sent that text.
Agreed. If they hadn't discussed exclusivity, that'd be different. But OP directly asked her, and she lied to him. This is deeply immoral because she led him on to believe they were exclusive, which led to him having sex with her.
This is exactly why I not only talk about exclusivity but wait a while to have sex. You can't trust that someone isn't lying to you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by richdeniro
Her ex-husband is a rich Arab from Kuwait. She has two school-age kids with him and she even converted to Islam for him - she's not now and it played a part in the divorce as she is really an atheist.
Yeah, she has no idea who she is or what she wants. She'd be a nightmare to actually be in a relationship with anyway, most likely.
Quote:
Originally Posted by personone
I honestly would never go that far to say she's a player or a cheater. The only thing that was bad about this scenario is that they slept together after one date, although it takes 2 to tango.
No. The bad thing is that she directly lied when he asked about exclusivity.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SWFL_Native
From your perspective it might hurt but I think based upon her response it shows the quality of her character. Be patient as her relationship likely will run it’s course and you can resume again at that point.
What? No! Why would he want to try again with this awful liar? Don't do it OP! Steer clear of this sinking ship covered in red flags.
Quote:
Originally Posted by richdeniro
I guess she wouldn't have bought it up if she wasn't over him. I even told her that I didn't do any dating for months after things ended with my ex as I wasn't emotionally available so wouldn't want to bring baggage along to anything I got into.
You are a mature and thoughtful person. Please never change. You're doing everything right, in my opinion.
Quote:
Originally Posted by old_cold
How about considering that she was simply being honest?
She was in an uncommitted relationship and maybe thought she could also play around (since her guy hadn't committed) but realized that , as much as she enjoyed you, she just couldn't handle juggling.
But she wasn't honest. That's the point. Had she been honest, that would be totally fair. But OP asked if she was seeing other people and she said no. She lied.
Quote:
Originally Posted by personone
I agree. I am honestly shocked by all the comments saying the woman is a cheater, player, etc. It was only one date so she was not in an exclusive relationship with the OP.
I guess I'm the only one who read the thread? OP asked her about exclusivity and she lied. See again:
Quote:
Originally Posted by richdeniro
Yep I did, in the two weeks we were chatting she made it fairly clear she was fully single and was not dating others.
Well, she either lied before about being fully single, or lied after she met and slept with the OP about having someone else. Either way, there’s nothing to do about it.
She also could have lied about rich guy from Kuwait, and being an investment banker.
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So, these are the kind of people women investment bankers date? Or the kind of people good-looking women investment bankers date?
