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Old 04-27-2019, 12:11 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,252 posts, read 108,199,089 times
Reputation: 116244

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Quote:
Originally Posted by yellowsnow View Post
Dysfunctional people hide in long distance relationships. Sorry. Most people want a relationship to be with someone they can see, date, share their lives with, and even have have sex. Yes, I have heard those romantic stories just like you have but for every fairy tale there are probably a few thousand failed attempts. Chat rooms are home to all sorts of pretend relationships. It's like playing house.

Think about why an adult middle aged male would hang in a chat room for hours every day. I would guess he is either married and bored or has ED and doesn't want sex at all. Maybe addicted to porn. He is hoping he can get someone interested and invested enough(YOU) to overlook his deficits. He may be looking for a nurse or a purse too. There is a reason why he is in that chat room instead of out and about in the real world. There are scads of single women out there he could be dating and having sex with. If he prefers to hang in a chat room, there is a reason.

You need to be a critical thinker and see the red flags flying. Do not become invested in a pretend relationship. Friendship is fine and you should not care how many women he flirts with online. No ownership, no love allowed. You don't even know this man. We can all be anything we want to be online. I can tell you anything I want and so can he!

Chat rooms are not real life. There are some wonderful people to meet online and there are also low life predators who want to take advantage of you in one way or another.
I think he's in it for the simple ego boost of being able to string women along, all kinds of women: married, single, divorced, his age, younger, etc. OP, he's exactly what you told him you DIDN'T want.
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Old 04-27-2019, 12:31 PM
 
2,449 posts, read 2,608,873 times
Reputation: 5702
I've never used a "chat room". Do people still use them? Reminds me of AOL.

Anyway, all I can say is OH DEAR.
Run away, run far away. If he won't even give you his cell phone number then your HE could be a SHE. You have no idea.
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Old 04-27-2019, 01:39 PM
 
Location: Las Vegas
14,229 posts, read 30,072,874 times
Reputation: 27689
Quote:
Originally Posted by PhureeKeeper View Post
I've never used a "chat room". Do people still use them? Reminds me of AOL.

Anyway, all I can say is OH DEAR.
Run away, run far away. If he won't even give you his cell phone number then your HE could be a SHE. You have no idea.
Lots of chat rooms still out there! Most are related to specific activities like gaming, gardening, whatever.
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Old 04-27-2019, 01:52 PM
 
334 posts, read 265,098 times
Reputation: 760
I agree with everyone— it’s a no win and the red flags are flying.
I do know he’s a guy and his identity. I did some googling and reverse searches. He is a man, Facebook says single but he is home every night online— no exceptions most of the time. I think the person who said he is in it for the ego attention of leading around all these women who he engages but slickly keeps them at bay.
He probably hates women. He flirts but denies it’s flirting. They eat it up. I guess I bought it too.

In my defense, I’ve had a loss with my mom passing after I moved here to take care of her. I’m away from friends so I was ripe for the picking. I talkedcestate issues in the chat room initially thinking it was anonymous. Maybe he thinks I have money. 😕

I’m not one to ghost people so how to get out of this is a problem.
Maybe I’ll tell him I need time to think and that I have a need for space right now.
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Old 04-27-2019, 01:53 PM
 
8,085 posts, read 5,265,492 times
Reputation: 22686
You've never met this person.

/thread.
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Old 04-27-2019, 02:04 PM
 
Location: on the wind
23,404 posts, read 19,018,776 times
Reputation: 75611
It's always puzzled me how anyone can be possessive, jealous, protective, or devious with what is basically electronically-transmitted data.

Guess I'm just an old-fashioned out-of-touch human who needs the real thing standing right in front of me in order to get it.
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Old 04-27-2019, 02:04 PM
 
334 posts, read 265,098 times
Reputation: 760
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
I think he's in it for the simple ego boost of being able to string women along, all kinds of women: married, single, divorced, his age, younger, etc. OP, he's exactly what you told him you DIDN'T want.
Bingo!! I suspected that for a while. He is incredibly skilled at being evasive, yet does this pull you in thing and then you’re left hanging. He injured his foot last December and I lost count at the amount of women that came into the chat room to see how his foot was. It was like he had 100 nurses following him around every time he signed on. All these women so concerned—single, married, divorced. Many saying they would cook for him or do his laundry if they could. And the venom I’ve encountered since they got wind of us chatting alone. One woman verbally attacked me saying, “ I can’t believe you to haven’t talked on the phone but I know he hasn’t given you his cell phone number”. He witnessed that but said he hated woman drama and was staying out of it. He continues to be friendly to her. He really is poison.
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Old 04-27-2019, 04:13 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,252 posts, read 108,199,089 times
Reputation: 116244
Quote:
Originally Posted by PittsburghPatty View Post
Bingo!! I suspected that for a while. He is incredibly skilled at being evasive, yet does this pull you in thing and then you’re left hanging. He injured his foot last December and I lost count at the amount of women that came into the chat room to see how his foot was. It was like he had 100 nurses following him around every time he signed on. All these women so concerned—single, married, divorced. Many saying they would cook for him or do his laundry if they could. And the venom I’ve encountered since they got wind of us chatting alone. One woman verbally attacked me saying, “ I can’t believe you to haven’t talked on the phone but I know he hasn’t given you his cell phone number”. He witnessed that but said he hated woman drama and was staying out of it. He continues to be friendly to her. He really is poison.
Some guys enjoy toying with women that way. They know they upset the women, but they get a perverse satisfaction out of it. It's sadistic. "Do not feed the troll" is the best advice.
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Old 04-27-2019, 04:39 PM
 
334 posts, read 265,098 times
Reputation: 760
So it appears the votes are in and he is not the right person for me—that’s putting it mildly.
If he is indeed playing with me and being sadistic then I would like to exit this in the safest way possible. He does not have my phone number or my last name but he does have my email address.
I don’t imagine that he would try to find me but I don’t want to do something that angers him or creates bad feelings. Just closing my account and disappearing seems a little harsh.
I think maybe distancing a little and not reacting to his provocations may make me less attractive as a mark. Any ideas for a safe exit with this type of personality are welcome.
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Old 04-27-2019, 04:43 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,252 posts, read 108,199,089 times
Reputation: 116244
Quote:
Originally Posted by PittsburghPatty View Post
So it appears the votes are in and he is not the right person for me—that’s putting it mildly.
If he is indeed playing with me and being sadistic then I would like to exit this in the safest way possible. He does not have my phone number or my last name but he does have my email address.
I don’t imagine that he would try to find me but I don’t want to do something that angers him or creates bad feelings. Just closing my account and disappearing seems a little harsh.
I think maybe distancing a little and not reacting to his provocations may make me less attractive as a mark. Any ideas for a safe exit with this type of personality are welcome.
Of course, we know nothing about him, but this type usually doesn't track down women who aren't interested. It's more like they enjoy manipulating the ones that come into their sphere, and basking in their attention, but---easy come, easy go. If you leave, other new chatroom members will come along soon enough.
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