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You have hit the stage of your marriage that led to the demise of mine. Once i stopped making effort it all went to hell, there were times afterwards where i could've turned it around, but it would have to have been me once again making the sacrifices, I didn't read all the responses but i know a lot of people have slammed you because he was the exact same person you married and how dare you expect him to change. But people do change, and you either evolve together or apart.
Where your situation differs from mine is that not once did my ex make an attempt to reconnect. He sat across from me and told me that even though he loved me, he couldn't bring himself to do what he knew he needed to do. He knew his efforts would be temporary and just prolong the inevitable, so it was easier to call it quits early on than draw out the pain in front of our children. Even so, I was still blasted by friends and family and blamed for my divorce, he was the good guy and i was the b***h.
You will likely get ripped apart for your last post, but i understand you, and i understand what it feels like when you finally give up.
You have hit the stage of your marriage that led to the demise of mine. Once i stopped making effort it all went to hell, there were times afterwards where i could've turned it around, but it would have to have been me once again making the sacrifices, I didn't read all the responses but i know a lot of people have slammed you because he was the exact same person you married and how dare you expect him to change. But people do change, and you either evolve together or apart.
Where your situation differs from mine is that not once did my ex make an attempt to reconnect. He sat across from me and told me that even though he loved me, he couldn't bring himself to do what he knew he needed to do. He knew his efforts would be temporary and just prolong the inevitable, so it was easier to call it quits early on than draw out the pain in front of our children. Even so, I was still blasted by friends and family and blamed for my divorce, he was the good guy and i was the b***h.
You will likely get ripped apart for your last post, but i understand you, and i understand what it feels like when you finally give up.
Thank you for your kind words.
I’m sorry to hear about your marriage. I’m glad you finally had the courage to leave. I know how it feels like to be the bad guy in a relationship. Since he’s apathetic, people think he’s the cool calm one and I’m the emotional demanding b****. Maybe I am. Maybe I ask too much or maybe he gives too little.
If my husband said to me what yours did, he would be totally erased from my world. I hope you are doing better now, with someone else or on your own.
Sorry, I agree with others who said its your fault. You pursued a man who really wasnt much interested in you. Remember the lessons you learned and move on.
So your definition of love is how much people in relationships post about each other on social media and showing off in front of other people?
That's odd.
Sorry about your situation.
Not really. People need to be validated that they are loved and cared for. One way that happens is outward displays of that love. It can be a nice piece of jewelry, a date, or PDA. Or an IG post about your date night. Personally I'm of the opinion that I'd like to keep my private life private but I can see its important to my wife.
Think of it this way. If you and your spouse went to a Baseball game and the Kiss Cam came and he didn't kiss you wouldn't you feel put out? If your spouse wouldn't hold your hand in public, or kiss you goodbye on an airplane?
I agree she may be being immature or something. If he has three pictures of his family on Social media but only has 10 pictures total and four of them are memes, maybe she ought to realize that's not his love language. But if he's active there...that's different.
Not really. People need to be validated that they are loved and cared for. One way that happens is outward displays of that love. It can be a nice piece of jewelry, a date, or PDA. Or an IG post about your date night. Personally I'm of the opinion that I'd like to keep my private life private but I can see its important to my wife.
Think of it this way. If you and your spouse went to a Baseball game and the Kiss Cam came and he didn't kiss you wouldn't you feel put out? If your spouse wouldn't hold your hand in public, or kiss you goodbye on an airplane?
I agree she may be being immature or something. If he has three pictures of his family on Social media but only has 10 pictures total and four of them are memes, maybe she ought to realize that's not his love language. But if he's active there...that's different.
He has tons of pictures... of himself, our kids, other people and things, places, random stuff. He knows how I feel about it. I think its his way of mocking me... making me feel less than him.
About this social media crap, in a way, I feel like it’s his mom’s doing. She’s the one who told him not to post pictures of ys when we were still dating. Her reason was because his ex-wife might see.
He wasn’t divorced yet when we met, but they had been separated a long time with no contact. She was dating another guy, who cause md their breakup.
I don’t know what’s wrong with his mom, but she seems to want trouble for us. She prevented us from posting pictures saying the ex-wife might see... MEANWHILE, ex-wife had no reservations posting pictures of her bf.... even of them tongue-to-tongue.
Now, they’re divorced and we’re married, MIL seems to favor ex-wife. She says bad things about her, like how much they didn’t like her and based on the court papers, she didn’t like them and couldn’t stand his family either.
I thought they were great at first, until I came to realize what they were doing. They want to make me feel less than the ex-wife. Even though they always said she was horrible. Now I know what probably made ex-wife horrible. They drove her mad with their snide remarks and insinuations.
They said she would get mad wild and mope and cry around the house, wanting to leave, and that they didn’t understand what her problem was. MIL said they never did anything to her.
Now I find myself raging and crying and getting angry the smallest things because of stuff they say and do. They, especially MIL, makes me feel like I’m no good. I think I now understand why the ex-wife was the way she was.
So now husband (and MIL) is trying to make me feel less. And its working. I hate them.
Now I find myself raging and crying and getting angry the smallest things because of stuff they say and do. They, especially MIL, makes me feel like I’m no good. I think I now understand why the ex-wife was the way she was.
So now husband (and MIL) is trying to make me feel less. And its working. I hate them.
You need to make plans to get out of the house, or get him out, as soon as possible.
Second Saturday is a free divorce workshop that helps women prepare for divorce. Check this link to read about it and find a workshop in your area.
Start planning to make the separation official. There is a lot to do, and it's a million times more difficult to do when you're in the same house.
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