Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
So I’m 28, got out of a messed up relationship just under a year ago now. Once I got over it I went super positive, joined the gym and started speaking to new girls etc. Over the last 4 months one in particular, who worked there but has a boyfriend, took my interest. She is only 21 but very mature, has all the traits I desire. Beautiful, very positive, caring, funny and we get on very well. I found myself looking forward to the gym and even getting nervous prior to going. We’ve spent a lot of time in each other’s company and she has been PTing me along the way. Throughout I have been aware she seems happy and committed to her current boyfriend. However, last week she left the gym to go elsewhere. Not until then did it hit me how many feelings I had caught. Despite still seeing her once a week for my PT, I’ve been extremely down about not seeing her so regularly and it’s had my lying awake at night and unable to get her off my mind. I have some experience with falling for people and get that sometimes you’re blinded by that, but this one just seems different. She just has so much of what I want and we get on so well. What do I do? Do I tell her how I feel now? Do I leave it until we’ve known each other a longer while before telling her? Or do I ease away from her and try and dumb it down. I’m petrified if I do tell her I won’t be able to see her again or be friends in the future. Because right now I feel like if that’s all i can have it’s better than not knowing her at all. She is just somebody I’d love to have in my life. Help.
Your last relationship was "messed up," so I can't imagine why you'd want to get in any deeper with someone totally unavailable. In your shoes, I'd cut contact to make things easier on myself.
You make it sound rather simple. I feel like for my to feel this way, there must be something coming back the other way. I’d like to think I’m not a fool for love anymore after past experience. Something just seems right about her. I’ve been very guarded about how I feel about her with her. I just don’t know whether to take the plunge and tell her or if that’s the wrong thing to do both for her and for myself if I wish to be friends with her if all else fails.
Your last relationship was "messed up," so I can't imagine why you'd want to get in any deeper with someone totally unavailable. In your shoes, I'd cut contact to make things easier on myself.
This would suggest that I should tell her how I feel, and if the answer is no should cut her out? A terrifying thought
So I’m 28, got out of a messed up relationship just under a year ago now. Once I got over it I went super positive, joined the gym and started speaking to new girls etc. Over the last 4 months one in particular, who worked there but has a boyfriend, took my interest. She is only 21 but very mature, has all the traits I desire. Beautiful, very positive, caring, funny and we get on very well. I found myself looking forward to the gym and even getting nervous prior to going. We’ve spent a lot of time in each other’s company and she has been PTing me along the way. Throughout I have been aware she seems happy and committed to her current boyfriend. However, last week she left the gym to go elsewhere. Not until then did it hit me how many feelings I had caught. Despite still seeing her once a week for my PT, I’ve been extremely down about not seeing her so regularly and it’s had my lying awake at night and unable to get her off my mind. I have some experience with falling for people and get that sometimes you’re blinded by that, but this one just seems different. She just has so much of what I want and we get on so well. What do I do? Do I tell her how I feel now? Do I leave it until we’ve known each other a longer while before telling her? Or do I ease away from her and try and dumb it down. I’m petrified if I do tell her I won’t be able to see her again or be friends in the future. Because right now I feel like if that’s all i can have it’s better than not knowing her at all. She is just somebody I’d love to have in my life. Help.
Tell her how you feel???
No no LORD no.
It sounds like she's been sort of a bridge for you (I won't say crutch since that sounds negative) to re-engage after your bad relationship.
She has a boyfriend. She seems happy with him. Please don't mistake these feelings of infatuation for love.
You may need to switch gyms also to get rid of the mental association with her. Time to force yourself to stop fantasizing about her and keep moving forward.
It sounds like she's been sort of a bridge for you (I won't say crutch since that sounds negative) to re-engage after your bad relationship.
She has a boyfriend. She seems happy with him. Please don't mistake these feelings of infatuation for love.
You may need to switch gyms also to get rid of the mental association with her. Time to force yourself to stop fantasizing about her and keep moving forward.
To be honest, as much as I hate to admit it I think this is exactly what I was dreading to read knowing it’s correct. Although I do think there’s a bit more to it than just infatuation. I’ve tried engaging with many girls since the last one and she’s the only way I’ve really taken to. I feel like if I can’t be with her I’d love to be friends. It’s just keeping the feelings at bay in order to be able to manage that.
I’d love to be friends. It’s just keeping the feelings at bay in order to be able to manage that.
That's not friendship.
It's too much to ask of yourself to maintain anything with her. The fact that you said the idea of not talking to her is "terrifying" is proof of that.
You need to mentally separate yourself ASAP.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
