Girlfriend broke up with me after a year. (marry, guy, family)
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Try and get some rest. It’s so hard and doesn’t make sense.
Learn to do breathing exercises and try to remain calm. Feel free to grieve. If the holidays seem too much, ask a doctor for something to help with depression. Odds are, if you can hang on till till spring, you will gradually start feeling better on your own. Exercise will help. Send the boys gift cards for Christmas.
Take good care of your health. You’ll see the light of day.
Hold your head up high and move on...don't be a door mat to her...those aren't even your biological kids right? I know it is tough, get back out on the horse slowly...you will find someone better that likes you as much (or more) than you like them I'm sure. Good luck and keep up posted.
Literally feel like I've lost family right here before the holidays. Seems almost unreal. We were practically best friends. I mean we're in our mid 30s and we would occasionally do childish things for fun. We would go swimming in my cousin's pool in the middle of the night while he was sleeping, stole a road sign(Named after my granddad, always wanted to do it), visited different cities together, NYC for her birthday since we had never been before. So many great memories. Rarely fought.
I want to believe that after a few weeks she will remember all the times we've had and maybe miss me at least a little but I feel like I'm just reaching for false hope. Sometimes I feel like I meant nothing to her.
OP, realize you did reach a special place in her heart, just not the romantic one. She loved you and respected you enough to do right by you by being honest and letting you go.
She could have done the easy thing and led you on, catting around on the side as many people are want to do, but she did not. It is a great compliment you were paid by her in many ways; take solace in that.
Lastly, she will likely often think of you in a very kind manner. Likely also, at various times she will kick herself for having been true to her heart.
Peace.
Last edited by GhostOfAndrewJackson; 11-11-2019 at 08:40 PM..
OP, realize you did reach a special place in her heart, just not the romantic one. She loved you and respected you enough to do right by you by being honest and letting you go.
She could have done the easy thing and led you on, catting around on the side as many people are want to do, but she did not. It is a great compliment you were paid by her in many ways; take solace in that.
Lastly, she will likely often think of you in a very kind manner. Likely also, at various times she will kick herself for having been true to her heart.
Well.. I do somewhat agree with what others have said but can I also just say that there could be other reasons for the breakup then her not being into you?
Yes, yes, it could easily be her wanting something else or someone else. And of course you dont want to be a dormat if you get the vibe that she really just is over it. I've ended things with several men in my past who would have had no chance of me changing my mind.
But also, as you've stated her past.. maybe she is being a little girl about this and running away from a great future with you? From experience, I remember almost ending things with my husband when we were just dating.. I hit some harder life times and at the moment I needed him to become more mature to help me deal with them as my life partner. If I had been that stupid to end things I would have hoped he would have tried hard to talk some sense into me because now we have a really wonderful marriage. I'm just saying to judge things for yourself and if you truly believe that things can be clarified and worked out then dont just let her walk away without trying harder. People sometimes make mistakes and stupid decisions and then later regret those things.
But remember relationships are even more about commitment and devotion than love and romance. And since she has ended the commitment think very carefully if she does want you back. Make sure she is 100% commited this time.
On the phone I asked her if it was me and if I had done something? Her response was that I was perfect and a great person and that she was probably going to regret doing it.
This might be your answer. People are creatures of the familiar, even if the familiar is extremely dysfunctional. So if she comes from a dysfunctional background, she may want to be with a good guy, but the good guy is out of her comfort zone because he's unfamiliar.
Thanks for everyone's replies. I don't quite understand where some are getting the idea she didn't see me romantically? Guess I never mentioned it but the sex was good. Few times she told me it was afterwards. This would be so much easier if everyone could have seen us together.
Her coworker that sits right beside her texted me last night. I worked with her coworker at a former company as well. She pretty much texted me sorry and that she really hated it for both of us. I told her I wasn't sure what happened and that she just told me she was having anxiety and stuff about her past. Her coworker said that she doesn't think she even knows exactly why she broke it off and that she had been having some anxiety at work.
Nobody ever commented on the hand-written letter I sent to her. What do you all think about that? It wasn't a letter begging her to reconsider, it was pretty much a goodbye letter. Everything I needed to say since I couldn't on the phone. Didn't even put my return address on it because I didn't want to make her think I needed something back.
Also when I texted her after she had broke up with me I told her I could have the house ready before the end of the year and she came back with "You need to do that for yourself, you'll feel so much better when it's done." Thought about sending her another letter with pictures after it's done. I don't know.
I know it's hard, but move on and consider yourself better off, because you probably are. Do NOT do a rebound gig with a toxic woman, because right now you are easy prey for them. Take six months or more to get your head straight, and learn to be single again.
Last edited by Pilot1; 11-12-2019 at 08:25 AM..
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