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Thank you for the wake up call. I am upset at myself for making her the prize. This was very upsetting to me because I did not treat her the exact same way nor do things the proper way I would have normally done with other women I have dated in the past. This is like you said my fault in this. For example, I would not have agreed with her on the second date that we shouldn't be talking to anyone else other than each other when she suggested this to me. I would not have had sex with her on the first date either. I never met anyone in the past from the Tinder hookup online dating app. I never talked to any dates on a daily basis but only once or twice a week just briefly mostly to setup definite plans for our next date telling her I prefer to hear her out and listen to her talk with me in person than on the phone. I would have also noted the red flags and walked away by the second or third date at the most because she just had way too many exes and guy friends she would talk about, talk to, and text. She was at least honest about that and let me know at the start she kept in regular contact with most of her exes and guy friends. I take responsibility for letting myself be walked all over like a doormat. Your right, how much of her stories and talk about herself is true? She told me she was an accounting and financial manager at a hotel where she worked and made 100k a year which is more than I make. Yet, she also told me she was the front desk person who checked guests in. I asked her why is she checking guests in if she is an accounting / financial manager? She would say it was because they were short staffed at the hotel so she was always talking about doing guest check in. I really don't recall her telling me much about the manager position doing accounting and finances. Maybe that is true or maybe she is just a guest check in person who doesn't make as much as she says she does. If that is the case then she is a pathological liar who was lying to me from day one but I guess now I will never really know because I told her not to contact me anymore and she replied "k, that's fine". I also blocked her number as well.
If anything this is a lesson learned. I learned from this and now I think I am becoming a better and stronger man as a result of it.
Thank you for the wake up call. I am upset at myself for making her the prize. This was very upsetting to me because I did not treat her the exact same way nor do things the proper way I would have normally done with other women I have dated in the past. This is like you said my fault in this. For example, I would not have told her on the second date that we shouldn't be talking to anyone else other than each other. I would not have had sex with her on the first date either. I never met anyone in the past from the Tinder hookup online dating app. I never talked to any dates on a daily basis but only once or twice a week just briefly mostly to setup definite plans for our next date telling her I prefer to hear her out and listen to her talk with me in person than on the phone. I would have also noted the red flags and walked away by the second or third date at the most because she just had way too many exes and guy friends she would talk about, talk to, and text. She was at least honest about that and let me know at the start she kept in regular contact with most of her exes and guy friends. I take responsibility for letting myself be walked all over like a doormat. Your right, how much of her stories and talk about herself is true? She told me she was an accounting and financial manager at a hotel where she worked and made 100k a year which is more than I make. Yet, she also told me she was the front desk person who checked guests in. I asked her why is she checking guests in if she is an accounting / financial manager? She would say it was because they were short staffed at the hotel so she was always talking about doing guest check in. I really don't recall her telling me much about the manager position doing accounting and finances. Maybe that is true or maybe she is just a guest check in person who doesn't make as much as she says she does. If that is the case then she is a pathological liar who was lying to me from day one but I guess now I will never really know because I told her not to contact me anymore and she replied "k, that's fine". I also blocked her number as well.
If anything this is a lesson learned. I learned from this and now I think I am becoming a better and stronger man as a result of it.
That's good to hear. Dating at any age is a learning experience about yourself and what works best for you.
There are plenty of attractive, honest, fun, and intelligent women out there. I wish you happiness and the best of luck in your next dating adventures.
So, you wisely broke up with this lying, damaged woman. Great! That was the smart thing to do. Now your job is to stop obsessing over her. No more rationalizing, no more analyzing, no more walls of text telling us how wonderful/awful she was. Time to let it go. Realize and acknowledge that whole situation was screwed up and vow to not make those mistakes again, and move on.
So, you wisely broke up with this lying, damaged woman. Great! That was the smart thing to do. Now your job is to stop obsessing over her. No more rationalizing, no more analyzing, no more walls of text telling us how wonderful/awful she was. Time to let it go. Realize and acknowledge that whole situation was screwed up and vow to not make those mistakes again, and move on.
^ Yes! I still only read the OP's very FIRST post of this thread.
They broke up now, so why more lengthy yakking about her from the OP?
So, you wisely broke up with this lying, damaged woman. Great! That was the smart thing to do. Now your job is to stop obsessing over her. No more rationalizing, no more analyzing, no more walls of text telling us how wonderful/awful she was. Time to let it go. Realize and acknowledge that whole situation was screwed up and vow to not make those mistakes again, and move on.
And no assuming every woman who gets a yeast infection, has a dead phone battery, or doesn't want to have sex all night long, is cheating.
Brother - you may not realize it because you're 'in it'. But the answers you seek are already in what you wrote to the forum.
I have a lot of experience with the women... And no, I am not The Zohan! Truth is I've been fortunate to have had four really awesome chicks that I'm thankful for and I married one of them. Although that's long over I do not regret it, nor do I have issue with her. But for every good one out there, there are twice as many 'bad ones' (which only means we were never supposed to work out in the long term).
Some of these tomatoes had their own SWAT mindset. Meaning they already had the tools to run game or in a more formal sense - to manipulate the reality of whatever 'relationship' I thought there was. Examples: gas lighting, half truths, having friends 'co-sign' their BS and your basic bold faced lie. Granted I'm probably a good 20 years older than you and have been married, divorced, annulled (tedious process I don't recommend it) so my armor has plenty of dents.
I'm gonna down shift and say it like this...I don't know you. I don't know her. But from what you've sent the forum I can figure out an important cog in the relationship flow isn't greased anymore. Sir, are you familiar with Led Zeppelin and a song called: Communication Breakdown? The lyrics won't help you. But what will help you going forward is to always go with your gut. If you feel something is a miss. And I'm not saying like she missed one time to call, I mean you see a pattern. More than likely she's rebelling. Maybe she just doesn't feel like she should be locked into calling when YOU say so or whatever the case is. People in general usually do that because they feel something isn't going their way so they'll take a passive-aggressive stance instead of confronting the issue head on. Keep that in mind. First thing it tells you is, her heart isn't into it like you thought. But the other thing it tells you is her lack of character. She'd rather have you get upset and mad by knocking the cog outta whack just enough to where it bothers you. Which in turn forces you to become the aggressor and demand answer to the 'why'. And finally she can field your frustration, twist it just a tad and now she can play the victim. Are you picking up what I'm putting down?
Whatever you do, do not tell her that you know she's doing what I just explained. I'd just turn into dead air and ghost her. This way, no extensive damage is done with words. You have an out because you have to work with your Dad's health and maybe it can start up again later on down the road.
*If you'd like to pay for this Bro-Code advice, I take cash only* (To the moderator - I'm not serious)
Go with your gut. In the end it's all you really have.
I think she got off work last night. Stayed up all night having sex with this other guy. So perhaps she was very tired in the morning from having sex with him all night. Then she probably slept in late and then headed home so she could be home by 2pm and start getting ready for work. So when she got home at 2pm she plugged her phone into the charger and saw my message about my Dad. She could have sent me a text at any time last night or during the day today but did not respond until 2pm the next day which is around the time she needs to be home to get ready for work.
....
Right now I am not her boyfriend and we have not had that official talk about being exclusive but based on her previous conversations it seemed to me that she would consider me cheating iof I was dating and having sex with her and also with someone else.
I'd stop at right here....
You don't even know if you are in a committed exclusive relationship?
You don't know what she was doing last night... as far as I am concerned... it is none of your business.
What it boils down to... is you don't know anything... and everything you posted is built on a foundation of assumptions. Sure, it might be all lies... she might be a horrible person.. but it is besides the point. Until you have a commitment she really owes you nothing of anything that resembles a committed relationship. She very well might be seeing someone else and lying about it to avoid awkwardness.... but that's her business.
Do yourself a favor... Don't make decisions and get all upset over partial facts, assumptions and ambiguous messages. If you really want to be with her, have that discussion... clarify... set boundaries / expectations for the relationship. If you feel she has little disregard for your feelings and is leading you on... then walk.
Last edited by usayit; 08-25-2021 at 09:48 PM..
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I still only read the OP's very FIRST post of this thread. 
