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This came on Friday after I asked him if he had any plans for the weekend. He sent me a photo from a block party that dates September 25th and tried to pass it off as if that’s where he was that afternoon, whole story and everything.
Should I view this as a compounding problem that’s bound to get worse? There’s nothing wrong with doing **** all with your Friday, I don’t understand why he had to lie about something so small.
He has been a gentleman since day 1 and now I’m starting to question my judge of character.
To me, this is a data point. By itself it still doesn't mean all that much, but if you notice a stronger pattern, well that does start to matter. The big reason this isn't that important to me yet is that its not all that clear to me that this is lie versus just a miscommunication. He could have been at party that afternoon, its not that important to me that he sent a picture from a previous party, its not uncommon for people to try to send a picture that puts them in flattering light, and he also might not want to admit that he is that vain/insecure.
How good is your next bext alternative? If you have a lot of alternatives that are as good or almost as good, then you can afford to be more choosy. But I would probably let this slide. I would generally prefer not to screen someone out of the process that seems like they fulfill most of the things I am looking at until after the first date for coffee or happy hour. Once we met in person, then I will start being more selective. But what you described right now, wouldn't yet knock someone out of a first quickie date.
I am guilty of having done this once. I am in general not a liar or cheater.
If I remember correctly (it has been years), I was at a party and pics were taken and none of them turned out great. So I sent him a picture from months earlier somewhere else.
Well, the guy lies. Bottom line, black and white. He blatantly lies. Big, flashy, sparkling RED FLAG.
This. I of all people understand better than anyone about having zero options…but knowing off the top that someone is a liar…and lies about things that aren’t really important or don’t matter (he didn’t have to lie about his whereabouts, or post a photo to prove anything) really gives pause.
This could tell you a lot about him, OP. You could ask, sounding puzzled, if he's aware the photo he sent was dated to over a week ago, and see what the response is. If he cuts you off, you have a clear answer as to his suitability for you. If he tries to lie his way out of it, and claim the photos got mixed up or something, --ditto. At this point you have nothing to lose, and some valuable clarity to gain.
But it's not clear from your OP, whether you've met this guy in person or not. Is this someone you recently connected with online? Providing a context for us is helpful for putting the situation in perspective.
I would just ask why he sent a picture from the previous week.
Uh, Joe, you do realize that I know that picture is from the previous week? What's up with that?
Seriously. Is it that hard? I remember I had one friend who lied to me once. We had plans and he canceled saying he was out of the house and would not make it back in time. I happened to live across the street from the Salvation Army, which happened to have the brass band give concerts every Sunday morning. Of course, I heard the brass band blaring through his phone and my window and knew he was actually in the immediate vicinity. I called him out. It was actually pretty hilarious though.
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