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Also even if through some miracle you do win her back, it will never be the same as she has proven to you that she is okay with hurting you, you are still young enough to have a large dating pool to fish from, and be thankful she did not wait until you were post 30 to pull this crap, when the dating pool get's really crappy as all the women you would otherwise want to date are either already in a loving long term relationship or have mental baggage from previous abusive relationships, single moms and or "on again off again" ex's still in the picture lurking in the background waiting for(or causing) any issue to pop up to slide back in..
If she contacts you, you can tell her privately directly and clearly that she broke it off and that you want no contact. Remove her contact information and delete her from all your social media. Time to look for something else.
I know this relationship seems like a big deal to you now, but its not. You two are both young and evolving as people and will both likely be different and want different things 5-10 years from now. And yes, you will eventually find someone just as good or better to spend your life with.
Not to take the sugarcoating away, but you need to research everything you can about relationships. You have that luxury now.
When you decide she is the one, that will be the priority in your life. You will realize you have a job almost everyday, as a relationship is hard work. Very rewarding, but you can get complacint and you need to have solid communication skills.
Good luck in your future.
Hello everyone,
A few days ago my girlfriend of 2 years and 7 months broke up with me (i am 22 and she is almost 21). She said she didn’t feel it anymore and she missed me less than normal. Everything was perfect for 2 years and 5 months. There was much love and intimacy coming from both sides, we were both so happy with eachother and we never had big beef, small discussions of 15 minutes yes but no beef. But then it changed. We didnt see eachother for a long time (we had online contact) because of finals and separate vacations with our families and when both back she also got COVID. During those 2 COVID weeks it started changing. She told me she felt she was making evolution as a person the past 2 months, which is normal at 20 years old. She told me she was searching for herself a bit, searching what she wants. She now has the urge to spend more times with friends (which she didn’t do when we were together, although i tried to make her see her friends more) and she also wants times just on her own. She says she can feel happy when she is alone for this moment. I am still in love with her, for me she feels like the one. She told me that she does not want that i keep hope to get back together because she does not want to keep hurting me and she still likes me as a person and doesnt wan to lose me so she would like to stay friends. I know she loves me as a person, she told me explicitly. (maybe even more idk that but right now it is just repressed because of the situation and she wants to do everything correctly to not lose me entirely)
We both study at college and are in the same years and classes, so we see eachother almost daily. At this moment we don’t contact though. Should i keep no contact? Or should i act normal with her? We did talk yesterday just because i did not understand the reasons at first. What should i do now? Keep the contact? Or do a no contact for a while? Also now (6 days after the breakup) she sent me some pics of her dog, whom really liked me and i liked him too. I responded short. What do i do if she stays sending me stuff, do i tell her i am not ready to chat casual and i need some time to process all this so we could become friends? Do i tell her already now or do i wait till she sends something again?
I am in two minds right now. On the one hand i just want to be back together, because we had such great times, we were so much in love and we always felt happy with eachother. But on the other hand i don’t want to lose her completely and if we really can’t get back together, i want to be friends with her because we were quite literally also eachothers best friends. She also does not want to lose me completely. We both aren’t interested in someone else or something new, she explicitly told me that. I don’t really know how i should handle this whole situation. What do you think?
You hit the nail on the head when you wrote "she doesn't want to lose you entirely". What is happening here is very common. She doesn't want a romantic relationship with you, but she doesn't want you to move on. She is "hanging on" to you for her own selfish reasons and hurting you in the process.
You love her, you want more and "just friends" is not an option for you right now. Sad but true, you need to move on and leave her alone. If she will not commit to you to remain in a relationship, she is telling you she is not romantically interested in you any more. Regardless of the reason(s), it just didn't work and it's nobody's fault. However, what she is doing by trying to hang on is to keep you at arm's length while she looks for someone "better".
With that being said, you have no choice now but to hold your head up high and move on just like she asked you to do when she broke up with you. She didn't physically "ask" you to, but she put you in a place where you had no choice, then she used her own emotional issues to hang on to you. It's is not acceptable and it is not fair. Move on and heal from this before you get out in the dating world again. When you are better, someone far more interesting and far more "into you" will come along. I'm sorry this is happening to you, but you will be fine as long as you let her go. If not, you will be miserable and become emotionally sick trying to be "just friends". I hope this makes sense. You deserve to be happy and your life is what YOU make it, so own your own life and do healthy things and make healthy choices for yourself. Good luck.
Ok, forget about all the BS about how she needs to evolve, spend time alone, search for herself, etc. She has the classic wanderlust signs of being interested in someone else, or maybe she has already found someone else. I guarantee you that will be the case.
This is so on point. Do not waste any time or energy on a woman that has made it clear she no longer wants you. She will never come back in the way you would like. Ever.
This is so on point. Do not waste any time or energy on a woman that has made it clear she no longer wants you. She will never come back in the way you would like. Ever.
Yes, this.
People have various viewpoints on whether your ex and you can remain friends or not following the conclusion of a romantic partnership, but it’s my experience that trying to maintain a platonic friendship with an ex after a failed romantic relationship is impossible and unworkable. I’d also be weary as to what sort of agenda an ex has in which they feel need to hang onto old flames.
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