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Too many men will simply not take "no" for answer. Giving a man the impression that there is someone else in the picture who cares for the female will often stop unwanted advances.
This thread really puts the "should women shoot their shot?" thread in a new perspective. Society expects men to do the approaching. If you don't like how men react when they're rejected, then do more of the approaching. Men have zero chances of being rejected when they are approached.
Also you have a better chance of getting the kind of man you want, or think is a good guy, if you don't limit yourself to men who approach you. When you see a guy who you think is a good guy, maybe you should approach him. Or are you afraid he might reject you? What are you, insecure? (or is insecurity only considered a negative when applied to a man? )
2). She is testing you to see if you have the kind of self confidence she wants in a suitor.....looking to see if you have the spunk to rise to the occasion, and (to date) you have been "folding up" in the face of challenge
Either way it's been a lost cause for you,....so why not try something different? You got nothing to lose.
Next time try "Oh, that's great, I was afraid you were married, why don't you and I do dinner?' And see where it goes. She might be impressed enough by your resilience to either give you a shot, or alternately play out her hand per #1 above
Does that really work? It would be a huge red flag in my eyes. If he doesn't respect the boundaries of my 'current relationship', then why would I ever expect him to respect them if we ended up dating? That kind of comment would get someone permanently removed as a possibility.
I would have assumed that is normally the case, a social pleasantry. But it sounds like a lot of the women on here have a really negative attitude towards men.
You've never had a male stranger lose their ish on you when you say, "Thank you, but I'm not interested".
I used to say that, but after some guy raged after that and scared the crap out of me, the fake bf came out.
You don't get to act like an authority on other peoples experiences from a few sentences.
This thread really puts the "should women shoot their shot?" thread in a new perspective. Society expects men to do the approaching. If you don't like how men react when they're rejected, then do more of the approaching. Men have zero chances of being rejected when they are approached.
Also you have a better chance of getting the kind of man you want, or think is a good guy, if you don't limit yourself to men who approach you. When you see a guy who you think is a good guy, maybe you should approach him. Or are you afraid he might reject you? What are you, insecure? (or is insecurity only considered a negative when applied to a man? )
How on earth does this solve the problem of UNWANTED approaches? If I approach men I am interested in dating, that doesn’t stop men I am not interested in dating from approaching me. It’s the same with men. A man can approach 200 women he’s interested in dating, but he still may get approached by 20 women he does not want to date. It’s not like we walk around with “find my date†apps that alert us when someone in the vicinity has a mutual interest.
How on earth does this solve the problem of UNWANTED approaches? If I approach men I am interested in dating, that doesn’t stop men I am not interested in dating from approaching me. It’s the same with men. A man can approach 200 women he’s interested in dating, but he still may get approached by 20 women he does not want to date. It’s not like we walk around with “find my date†apps that alert us when someone in the vicinity has a mutual interest.
Reading the posts in this thread sure does indicate the warped mentality some folks maintain about dating norms.
Thank you for having a rational perspective and sharing it.
Rather than have some guy get angry and start yelling at me, which is scary, I will just say that I already have a boyfriend. That typically ends the conversation. Some push, saying they are better than my fake boyfriend, but then I tell them that I've been with them for 5 years. Usually shuts it down right there, they don't get all offended, no drama.
You've never had a male stranger lose their ish on you when you say, "Thank you, but I'm not interested".
I used to say that, but after some guy raged after that and scared the crap out of me, the fake bf came out.
You don't get to act like an authority on other peoples experiences from a few sentences.
First I do want to thank everyone who responded to my thread. Thank you. Now I really am starting to get why women are engaging in this behavior. It really does sound like some men won't take no for answer and I am sure that is frustrating.
For the women who do result to engaging in this behavior, do you mostly do it with all men or is this more often context specific - if your general sense is that this guy might give you some issues with accepting rejection then you decide to invent the phantom boyfriend?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Toxic Waltz
This thread really puts the "should women shoot their shot?" thread in a new perspective. Society expects men to do the approaching. If you don't like how men react when they're rejected, then do more of the approaching. Men have zero chances of being rejected when they are approached.
Also you have a better chance of getting the kind of man you want, or think is a good guy, if you don't limit yourself to men who approach you. When you see a guy who you think is a good guy, maybe you should approach him. Or are you afraid he might reject you? What are you, insecure? (or is insecurity only considered a negative when applied to a man? )
I don't have problem with asking women out, but I am trying to get a better sense of how dating can sometimes go wrong for women so I can get a better sense of how to go about doing this in a manner that works better for both men and women. The women I ask out, I really do see something I like about them, so I would ideally like these women feel good about the dating process, so if there is anyway I can make that happen, I would like to.
Because so many guys have bought into the idea that if she's not into you, constantly hocking her for a date, stalking, bothering her constantly, will somehow magically make her fall madly in love with you like in the movies. She wants you to go away, not make it your life's work to convince her.
Because so many guys have bought into the idea that if she's not into you, constantly hocking her for a date, stalking, bothering her constantly, will somehow magically make her fall madly in love with you like in the movies. She wants you to go away, not make it your life's work to convince her.
The problem is, that this might work once in a GREAT while. Unfortunately, some men get the impression that it happens a LOT more than it actually does. In their minds, if it works on ONE woman, it should work on ALL women. When it doesn't, those men can become confused, angry or both.
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(or is insecurity only considered a negative when applied to a man? 
)
