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Hey Y'all! I am 20 years old. I have a good job. I dont have any kids, I am going to college. Im not the ugliest thing but I dont think I am beautiful. Now what I dont understand is why I dont have a boyfriend? I had one like 2 years ago and we were together for two years. You could say he was my high school sweetheart. But he was mean. I had to get out and I did after two years, but I haven't had a relationship since. Not even a boyfriend or even a "boy-toy". haha But I dont understand why. It kinda hurts a little. Its kinda like Im not worth it or not good enough. All of my friends have their boyfriends and they love each other. See me and my friends went to Dale Hollow Lake last weekend, their mans went with us, which is fine, but i hate being that third wheel. I feel so unwanted. I see how happy all my friends are and I see how unhappy i am. Maybe someone can help me out on this one?
Hey Y'all! I am 20 years old. I have a good job. I dont have any kids, I am going to college. Im not the ugliest thing but I dont think I am beautiful.
That right there explains it. Get yourself some real self-confidence... the kind that doesn't diminish as the number on the scale goes up or whatever... and you'll have guys beating down your door.
Agreed and why should you need a guy right now? Live life as a single person. Go where you want, why be tied down to someone else at this stage of your life. be happy for what you are and who you are. the right guy will eventually come around, quit looking so hard.
That right there explains it. Get yourself some real self-confidence... the kind that doesn't diminish as the number on the scale goes up or whatever... and you'll have guys beating down your door.
You know a lot of people have told me that, but I just dont feel beautiful, like I said about my old boyfriend and even before him, no one has told me that. I dont get told " Aww well dont you just look cute" Or "Hey you are beautiful" I have never been told that. I mean my mom would when i was little but that dont count. I am not at all fat. I actually only weigh about 120 lbs. I mean I work out, I take good care of myself but I just feel so ugly and when people look at me they are like "Dang, this girl." Cause I am the one who has all the guys as friends, they tell me all the time how hot this girl is, or look at her she is beautiful but i wonder what they say about me. "Oh she is just my friend" I dont know.
That "I am so unhappy with myself" vibe that you are telecasting is not a real guy magnet. Find what makes you happy (hint: it is not going to be a man). Once you do that and are truly happy with your life, designed by you, then the quality men will find you. Never works to try and put the cart before the horse! Or as mean boyfriend experience should have taught you, the vibe you are sending out is not going to bring in the cream of the crop. More like the cream of the crap!~
I dunno. It does seem from your post that you are desperate for a boyfriend. A lot of guys and girls in their early 20s don't want to have a boyfriend or a girlfriend. And anyways, having a boyfriend takes time. Getting a boyfriend has nothing to do with how pretty or how skinny you are. Sure, guys may look at a girl and think she is hot, but its not like it is easier for the "hot" girl to get a boyfriend.
Are you looking at dates or initial conversations with guys as - oh, good I went on a date, maybe he will be my boyfriend. Or are you going to activities going on dates and excited to have a fun time talking to someone new.
Do you have activities that you like? Do you go out and do those activities? Do you do interesting things that you can talk to people about? If you do interesting things (to you) and have interesting/different things to talk about that you are passionate about, then in my opinion, you will be more attractive to people.
Confidence helps too.
All this may help you meet people, maybe earn a few dates, but still all that does not equal boyfriend.
Not sure why you need the boyfriend for some type of validation that you are attractive.
You are putting way to much stock on having a man will make your life complete. You don't need a man to make you happy. Happy comes from the inside, not from having a man at your side.
Hopefully you have some goals in your life, like pursuing an education, or a career. Devote your self to those good ends, and the man will happen in it's own time. You are very young. Your friends with all of the boyfriends will be divorced with a gaggle of children in a few years, and wishing they could be you. Don't be is such a hurry, it will cause you to make bad decisions..!
You are putting way to much stock on having a man will make your life complete. You don't need a man to make you happy. Happy comes from the inside, not from having a man at your side.
Hopefully you have some goals in your life, like pursuing an education, or a career. Devote your self to those good ends, and the man will happen in it's own time. You are very young. Your friends with all of the boyfriends will be divorced with a gaggle of children in a few years, and wishing they could be you. Don't be is such a hurry, it will cause you to make bad decisions..!
Thank you! I do have goals, I will be a DVM. Doc. of Vet. Medicine. That is what I am going to school for now. I have a life I dont dwell on a man but it would be nice to have someone lay with you, or have someone to talk to. I dont know, I mean your words do make sence and thats what all of my friends have told me that the right one will come in time but you wont find him while you are looking.
You have to "appear" to be happy on your own. Are you attracted to misery? I'm pretty sure not. Confidence, self-esteem, being friendly and open, and not appearing to be "scared" of the opposite sex go a long way into getting guys to like you. Believe it or not, guys are just as much intimidated by us as we are of them. I've had many, many guy friends tell me that because many girls are a little picky when it comes to guys and will have no second thoughts about turning a guy down rudely. And also, just because you have a boyfriend doesn't mean you'll be happy. There's happy single people and happy people in relationships. If you really want to make something happen and you don't have 3 eyes and 10 appendages then you will be fine (and no offense to people with 3 eyes and 10 appendages)! Good Luck!
Don't worry, you are young, your time will come. Just focus on making yourself happy. Men are typically attracted to confident, happy women.
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