Married Guys: Ever Had Desire "to be with" Another Guy? (man, attracted)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
its normal for men/boys of all ages to feel certain attractions to other people, same sex or otherwise.
sometimes they are just lil crushes because you think this guy is a great baller, lawyer, buddy etc. it could be a fascination with the guy and nothing mroe than that.
best bet tho is to continue to seek answers to your questions.
sometimes its more than a childish crush and might be a true physical urge you might be feeling. ask yourself if you have always felt some sex urge for another man? is it some thing recent? do you fantazise about men? men and women? figure out where these curiosities come from. and then you might know how to deal with them better.
dont know about the counseling thing, dont know if you really need it. just continue to look with in and reflect. if you feel you can discuss sex and sexuality with your wife then ask her if she has ever had same sex feelings. talk about htese things, but until you have it figured out dont go alarming your wife. reflect then when you think you have figured it out , think some more and then some more. not to discourage you, but this is a serious topic and it requires a lot of thought. especially since you have a wife. not that you will cheat, but cheating isnt honest or respectful.
if when you have realized that your feelings are more than just some crush, talk to your wife and be honest. but first firgure it out for yourself. if you think you have questions... she will probably have twice as many.
He doesn't need counseling. He needs a response that wasn't pulled from someone's arse.
I'm sure you know all about that. If a person is married and is having thoughts of another person they need counciling wheather they are straight or Gay, marriage should be taken seriously.
I was not referring to you to begin with. Only those like you.
An ad hominem attempt at misdirection. I will not indulge you.
I guess that means you should leave then.
You've lost credibility in my eyes. Therefore, you are dismissed. As if that wasn't clear enough.
If and when the length of my presence on this forum yields an actual measurement of my ability to call bs when I see it, I'll be sure to let you know. Until then, you should curb your overwhelming tendency to pull at straws to come up with a retort.
Put down the thesaurus and step away from the computer. You've filled up two pages of bitching back and forth with JerZ. Enough is enough.
first you need to talk to your wife. Let her know about your feelings. If you do go out and have an encounter, you just destroyed your marriage by cheating.
That being said, talk to your wife and let her know that you have an interest in exploring, but try to add your wife into it. Have a threeway, that way the wife is involved also.
Your wife might freak out a little, but she's been with you so long she might suspect.
I'm not at all anti-gay, but if you want to be with a man then dont be married to a woman. Bottom line. As a woman, I would be beyond sickened if I knew my man had been with another man. I would fear having caught a disease for one thing, though I would have that same thought if the man had cheated with a woman, but just being honest here, I'd be more worried about what I may have caught if the cheatee was a man as we know the risks are generally higher (to me that would be up there with knowing the cheatee was a heroin addict, another high risk group). I dunno, its just so un-masculine to me, I could never look at my man the same again if I knew he had any thoughts whatsoever about men.
I'm happily married for 25 years, great wife, kids, job. But, I've always entertained the thought of a physical encounter with another guy. Anyone else? Or, am I just that odd?
It doesn't matter if its a man or a woman you've "enterained" the thought of a physical encounter with. Adultery is adultery be it with the opposite or the same sex.
Lost of people fantasize about other people when their in a marriage just don't act upon your curiousity. Or else you will be saying good bye to your poor wife and kids.
I'm not at all anti-gay, but if you want to be with a man then dont be married to a woman. Bottom line. As a woman, I would be beyond sickened if I knew my man had been with another man. I would fear having caught a disease for one thing, though I would have that same thought if the man had cheated with a woman, but just being honest here, I'd be more worried about what I may have caught if the cheatee was a man as we know the risks are generally higher (to me that would be up there with knowing the cheatee was a heroin addict, another high risk group). I dunno, its just so un-masculine to me, I could never look at my man the same again if I knew he had any thoughts whatsoever about men.
You state that you are not anti-gay, and yet, your post is full of vitriolic presumptions about gays and their lives.
That's what I like about this forum. Everyones a saint and no one touches themself either.
If the guys wants to be with another guy, Who are any of you to talk trash about his wants because you dont agree. Maybe his wife will be curious and want to watch.
Everyone has three lives:
professional
personal
and their secret life
I'm sure there are bi males who are married and would like to experiment.
Gay, straight or bi, the real bottom line here is that you're considering someone besides your spouse, and unless your spouse is on board with this, it doesn't matter whether it's a man or a woman or a poodle you're considering being with--you're still considering cheating.
So to me, it's a negative symptom in a marriage and it doesn't matter what sex it is that you're wishing you could experiment with.
Now on the other hand, as I said, if your wife is okay with an open marriage then that's a different story.
Thats because straight guys don't want to experiment with other men. That makes them either BI or Gay. Which is fine, except for when you are married with kids and you devastate their lives.
A the OP statements saying he is happily married, I think that might be stretching the story a little. If someone is happily married, they don't generally want to sleep with someone else, nevermind a member of the same sex.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
