Would you cheat on your current or future SO if you'd get away with it? (girls, love)
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In the words of the all-mighty SifuPhil in another thread: "Meh".
Interesting article, but it doesn't surprise me. Both genders cheat, but for different reason. Men cheating for sex might be the genetic prewiring that males supposedly have. So at least we have a legit excuse.
Kudos to you for not being involved w/ anyone else until the divorce was finalized.
The statistics are inescapable, both sexes cheat AND the divorce rate is over 50%, it has to be related. If you want to cherish your marriage, then you must remain faithful, its that simple. Cheating is the tearing down of a relationship, pure and simple.
I was cheated on and it hurt me in a way that I can't even explain. However I never took that as permission to go out and do the same then or while we were in the process of completing the divorce.
What? Do you really think somebody would honestly answer this question?
What's more, if you polled 10,000 people who had cheated on their spouse, I bet none of them would ever have answered "Yes" on this poll.
After all, none of us think we'd do this. We all beat our chest and say, "Why, I would never do such a thing. I value my spouse way too much," and a lot of other pious, self-righteous palaver.
However, I contend that, with the right person, the right situation, the right place, the right words, and especially the right amount of alcohol, anybody is capable of doing it. And, typically, it's the ones who declaim the loudest who are the most susceptible.
I have never cheated. I like to think that I never will. But I also know that I'm human, with a 450 horsepower, fuel-injected libido. Who knows? I might be going through a rough patch with Mrs. CPG35223, be off on a business trip with an attractive colleague, have one glass of wine too many, start swapping confidences, and....well you know the rest.
In fact, I have been in those situations, given how I work in a profession that is rife with attractive, well-spoken, well-dressed women. The trick is to vanquish one's ego, recognize that you, too, are quite capable of sneaking a little fun, and avoid situations where that can happen.
And, for those people who say, "Why I would NEVER do anything like that!" I have to say that you are the ones most likely to do it. All because you think you can't.
PS: I think the sexes cheat differently. I find it interesting that the men I've known who cheated did so in their 20s and 30s, while women seem to start cheating in their mid 30s and well into their 40s. Any explanation from the women on the forum?
That's just it, I don't think I would get away with it.
I'd be consumed with guilt like I was the one and only time I cheated and I've absolutely no desire to repeat that thanks very much. No guy is that good in bed.
And, for those people who say, "Why I would NEVER do anything like that!" I have to say that you are the ones most likely to do it. All because you think you can't.
WRONG. It's not that I think I can't, it's because I won't. I love my husband. If things between us were bad enough that the mere thought of being with someone else were to enter my mind, I would end the marriage first. I don't cheat - it's as simple as that.
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Originally Posted by princ3ss06
All men would cheat if he is provided a guarantee that he wont get caught.
Again, WRONG. I know plenty of men who would never cheat. My mother used to tell me how my grandfather was so opposed to cheating that if he ever found out someone was, he lost all respect for them and would have nothing more to do with them. My father was the same way.
Let me ask you something. Do you like it when people say, "all women do this, all women do that?" Of course not, because not all women are alike - and neither are all men. It offensive, insulting and unfair to make sweeping generalizations about either gender.
WRONG. It's not that I think I can't, it's because I won't. I love my husband. If things between us were bad enough that the mere thought of being with someone else were to enter my mind, I would end the marriage first. I don't cheat - it's as simple as that.
Again, WRONG. I know plenty of men who would never cheat. My mother used to tell me how my grandfather was so opposed to cheating that if he ever found out someone was, he lost all respect for them and would have nothing more to do with them. My father was the same way.
Let me ask you something. Do you like it when people say, "all women do this, all women do that?" Of course not, because not all women are alike - and neither are all men. It offensive, insulting and unfair to make sweeping generalizations about either gender.
Sorry, Claire. You are Exhibit A. I've known any number of people just like you who would have been appalled at the thought. And yet they wind up in affairs.
My answer is absolutely not. The reality is that it doesn't really matter if he found out or not. It's not right, has no place in a relationship, and whether he found out about it or not, it would not change the fact that I would know about it. It would eat me up inside as it is something I would never do to him. If even the mere thought of doing so would come into play, it would bother me to no end. I've been cheated on and I know the feeling, so I could never do it. The way I see it is if the thought of doing so comes into mind and one so much as toys with the idea, there is something wrong in the relationship and what needs to be done is looking to the relationship to fix that problem rather than ignoring it and only making it worse by adding cheating to the mix. It is the worse form of betrayal that can be done in a relationship and a sure way to destroy the trust and intimacy, if not the entire relationship.
And, for those people who say, "Why I would NEVER do anything like that!" I have to say that you are the ones most likely to do it. All because you think you can't.
What a crock of you know what. I simply know I have enough human deceny in me, I would never cheat on the woman that made the commitment to become my wife.
What a crock of you know what. I simply know I have enough human deceny in me, I would never cheat on the woman that made the commitment to become my wife.
I agree. I just simply don't believe that those that would say "they will never" are the one's more likely to do so. There are a lot of things that we determine we would never do. And we don't. When it comes to cheating, it's the same thing.
I tend to believe that those that don't establish that decision early on are the ones that are more likely to do so. Why? Because of the fact that they haven't taken a firm stance on the subject one way or the other. Therefore, they leave themselves more open to the temptation. However, in my opinion, once a firm stance has been taken on the subject, it is far easier to remain more alert to those things or situations we allow ourselves into, that can easily lead us into such actions.
Personally, because of the stance that I choose to take on it, I avoid any situation that can so much as give the appearance that such is even a remote possibility. I establish strong boundaries around myself and just allow little, if any room for it at all. This includes even thoughts. As human beings, we do have the ability to take any and all thoughts into captivity and control them rather than have them control us.
Sorry guys. Everybody is capable of it. Just because you say you're not doesn't mean a cotton-picking thing. Now that's not to say that you're looking to do it. It's also not to say that the circumstances wouldn't have to be a lot more unusual than for somebody who took their vows less seriously. But I have no illusions that all people are fallible, and that includes you and me.
In fact, we had a close friend who, over dinner about five years ago, practically said word-for-word what mari4him said. I mean, this woman was a Sunday school teacher, involved in lots of charities, was the first person to volunteer, etc. etc. This woman was the very model of propriety. She followed all the rules and, like Mari, put all those little boundaries around herself.
So what happened? Her husband, a really good guy, got a position where he traveled a lot--sometimes weeks at a time. At the same time, her mother passed away from cancer. Slowly over time, we noticed just subtle changes in her personality and her dress. Not flashy, but not nearly as conservative. She started working out. And, when her younger child could drive, she wasn't volunteering at the schools nearly as much. She confided in my wife that she was bored with the housewife routine, but didn't want to work, either.
A few months after that, she was caught in the middle of a really torrid affair with some guy she met online. Evidently, out of boredom, she started going online to a message board just like this one. Over time, she befriended one guy, started sharing confidences and, at some point, crossed over the line. She started heaping blame on her poor husband for her lonliness, and eventually met the guy during one of his visits to town. The next thing she knew, she was in his hotel room shucking clothes. That's the story she told her friends.
Now she and her husband are patching it back together. I don't know if it will last. We hope it will. But, as I said before, this woman was about the last woman in the world we would have suspected of banging somebody not her husband.
Sorry guys. Everybody is capable of it. Just because you say you're not doesn't mean a cotton-picking thing. Now that's not to say that you're looking to do it. It's also not to say that the circumstances wouldn't have to be a lot more unusual than for somebody who took their vows less seriously. But I have no illusions that all people are fallible, and that includes you and me.
I disagree. There is no way I'd cheat. I've had plenty of opportunties and never thought about it. It's not in my nature.
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