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I don't know about you guys but I am the type of person who tends to feel smothered when exclusively dating someone. Don't get me wrong it's not about wanting to be with other men or not loving my honey-bunny, it's more about not wanting to wear "girlfriend" on my sleeve all the daggone time. My boyfriend has but reluctantly has come to accept my feelings on this but I'm amazed at how many people feel like because your in a relationship or married you don't need seperate time apart from each other.
Marriage is something we talk about often
but
damn it if I can't have my me time once I say I do.
Yep. I love my man dearly, but I don't want to be with him every spare moment that I have. Fortunately, he feels the same way. Spending time separately makes for a better relationship, I think. Sometimes you just need to be alone.
I agree, but am having a hard time getting this thru to my new bf. He is very people oriented cant stand to be alone and dosent understand that I often like to just be at my home, by myself for days at a time. I dont know if marriage makes it any worse.
I don't know about you guys but I am the type of person who tends to feel smothered when exclusively dating someone. Don't get me wrong it's not about wanting to be with other men or not loving my honey-bunny, it's more about not wanting to wear "girlfriend" on my sleeve all the daggone time. My boyfriend has but reluctantly has come to accept my feelings on this but I'm amazed at how many people feel like because your in a relationship or married you don't need seperate time apart from each other.
Marriage is something we talk about often
but
damn it if I can't have my me time once I say I do.
I don't know about you guys but I am the type of person who tends to feel smothered when exclusively dating someone. Don't get me wrong it's not about wanting to be with other men or not loving my honey-bunny, it's more about not wanting to wear "girlfriend" on my sleeve all the daggone time. My boyfriend has but reluctantly has come to accept my feelings on this but I'm amazed at how many people feel like because your in a relationship or married you don't need seperate time apart from each other.
Marriage is something we talk about often
but
damn it if I can't have my me time once I say I do.
Does anyone understand where I'm coming from?
YES,YES,YES!!!
I am married with a house full of kids and I just about lose it when I need my space. Everyone is fully aware when mommy needs a "timeout". I either leave and go shopping (grocery or household) or just drive around a little, stop at the Dairy Queen get a cone and relax or sometimes I feel I need time alone at home and I will pack up the diaper bag with food and drinks and send the hubby up to his parents for the day so the kids can visit their grandparents. Then I usually do a massive speed clean on the house so there really is no relaxing at that point, but then again it is kind of relaxing because I crank the stereo and have the house to myself.
Location: Mableton, GA USA (NW Atlanta suburb, 4 miles OTP)
11,334 posts, read 26,074,740 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bjones1976
Does anyone understand where I'm coming from?
Very much so. I was a loner before I met my wife, and so was she. We tend to do things together quite a bit, but we also have (and need!) our alone time. We get a little bit of that each day (she gets home a couple hours earlier than I do from work, and I tend to say up for a few hours after she goes to sleep), but we also sometimes do things separately even when we're in the house together (I'll be on the main level listening to music or reading and she'll be downstairs doing her art stuff, or maybe she'll be on the main level watching a movie and I'll be downstairs blowing people up on the PC).
For a while we also spent a lot of weekday evenings completely apart, mainly because she was off at friends' houses or attending various social get-togethers while I would stay at home and read or putz on the computers.
We almost always spend our weekends together, tho, and we have one night a week set aside for "date night" so we're guaranteed some quality time together.
I don't know about you guys but I am the type of person who tends to feel smothered when exclusively dating someone. Don't get me wrong it's not about wanting to be with other men or not loving my honey-bunny, it's more about not wanting to wear "girlfriend" on my sleeve all the daggone time. My boyfriend has but reluctantly has come to accept my feelings on this but I'm amazed at how many people feel like because your in a relationship or married you don't need seperate time apart from each other.
Marriage is something we talk about often
but
damn it if I can't have my me time once I say I do.
Does anyone understand where I'm coming from?
Heck yeah I do.. not only should you have your space.. I would demand it... you dont need someone around you 24-7.. I dont believe that is what marriage is about... sure you should be together.. but alone time is good too...
I agree, but am having a hard time getting this thru to my new bf. He is very people oriented cant stand to be alone and doesn't understand that I often like to just be at my home, by myself for days at a time. I don't know if marriage makes it any worse.
So he's going to depend on you to be his space filler when others aren't around, just so he won't be lonely? Yikes .
Once the wild infatuation wears off and people settle down to being a couple, it's not so hard to go for periods of time without seeing one another. If your SO still demands your presence, even after a stated need for some breathing room, then I think there is a problem.
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I either leave and go shopping (grocery or household) or just drive around a little, stop at the Dairy Queen get a cone and relax or sometimes I feel I need time alone at home and I will pack up the diaper bag with food and drinks and send the hubby up to his parents for the day so the kids can visit their grandparents. Then I usually do a massive speed clean on the house so there really is no relaxing at that point, but then again it is kind of relaxing because I crank the stereo and have the house to myself.
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