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Been going with a guy for almost a few years. Long story short - he cheated on me for a few months.
His ex-girlfriend (the famous other woman) does a lot of the online stuff - Myspace, Facebook, etc. She has been keeping in contact through these sites with his kids, and possibly through email. Now these aren't adult kids - the oldest is 18.
It bothers me. I can't imagine what she and his children would possibly have to talk about. I don't want to bring it up to anyone. Not the kids, because they have a right to be friends with anyone. Not with my guy, because he doesn't know. YES - I am jealous of what happened, and have been tracking her online (my deepest darkest secret...)
Am I nutz to want her to back off of his family? They never see each other - separate states - and have only met once. I'm not handling this well, and want her to go away. Am I wrong? Any and all opinions welcome....
How long ago did he cheat on you with her? Are we talking recently?
Since she is an *ex GF* I couldn`t imagine what they would have to talk about, but thats her way of keeping her foot in the door, so to speak.
If you have forgiven him....and thats all settled, then there isn`t much you can do at this point with her communicating with his kids, other than hang on tight to him.
She is possibly using them, to try to get him back into his life....*possibility?*
If you are sure where he stands, don`t let it bother you. Thats what she wants!
Been going with a guy for almost a few years. Long story short - he cheated on me for a few months.
His ex-girlfriend (the famous other woman) does a lot of the online stuff - Myspace, Facebook, etc. She has been keeping in contact through these sites with his kids, and possibly through email. Now these aren't adult kids - the oldest is 18.
It bothers me. I can't imagine what she and his children would possibly have to talk about. I don't want to bring it up to anyone. Not the kids, because they have a right to be friends with anyone. Not with my guy, because he doesn't know. YES - I am jealous of what happened, and have been tracking her online (my deepest darkest secret...)
Am I nutz to want her to back off of his family? They never see each other - separate states - and have only met once. I'm not handling this well, and want her to go away. Am I wrong? Any and all opinions welcome....
How long was she involved with him? If it was awhile, then i can see how she might keep in contact with the kids and vice versa.
If she is only communicating with his kids, and not trying to get into touch with him, what's the problem?
Tracking her online? That's a bit extreme don't you think? It almost makes you look like the obsessive one...(pls don't take the wrong way).
If it bothers you that much, maybe you should talk to your boyfriend about it. He should be the one to tell the kids to stop any communication with her.
to answer all questions - it was late last year. How long? Unknown. Obsessive? Yes, but I have found out other things she has been doing in this method, and it has averted many surprises.
I'm agreeing with the foot-in-the-door theory, but I can't prove it. And talk to him? I have done that, about those other things I spoke of. I told him how much it bothers me, and have expressed my wish that she leave him and his family alone. He agrees to my face, but takes no action. So, I have to conclude that it's either no big deal for him and he doesn't care, or he doesn't want it to stop.
So now, I turn to all of you to see if maybe this is really just my issue and there's nothing wrong with it. On a side note - I do not have a relationship with his family, because I met him during his divorce. I was told - very kindly by his father - that if I had been woman #2 or #3, etc, that I would have been welcomed into his family. But because I was first (although not the reason for the divorce - that had started before I met him), no one could or will accept me because they still enjoy a good relationship with his ex-wife. That is fine I truly understand. But it doesn't make me feel any better about this situation, and maybe in fact makes it worse.
Now, is this his ex GF who is contacting his kids, or the ex wife?
I`m confused.
If his family has excluded you, then its going to be a tough relationship to get through all the way around.
If this is his EX GF who is contacting his kids, then as long as they are not discussing you, or your EX, I would drop it.
It would bother me too, but if what can you do?
I dont trust adults that make a special effort to talk to children.
Creepy no matter what the situation is around it.
I would bring it up because its just freakin weird and I would wonder if she was being appropriate with the children. And by that I mean playing "spy on daddy" mindgames or sexual advances. Seriously...you never know.
And she has no reason to talk to them at all over a few months of contact.
Wierdo...
_____________________
And I dont think you are wierd for tracking her. When a chica knows, she KNOWS that something is fishy. Wake up and smell a manipulator!
Cause that b**** is it.
[quote=eyeofthestorm;5146351]Been going with a guy for almost a few years. Long story short - he cheated on me for a few months.quote]
Stopped reading right there and can answer your question.
Yes, you are nuts. If you are wasting your time even coming to this site to write about a guy who cheated on you.....
yep, nuts.
You are lucky to have gotten rid of him! (assuming you got rid of him)
And now you can have positive energy surround you and good things can happen...won't as long as you are even giving him a second of your time.
to answer all questions - it was late last year. How long? Unknown. Obsessive? Yes, but I have found out other things she has been doing in this method, and it has averted many surprises.
I'm agreeing with the foot-in-the-door theory, but I can't prove it. And talk to him? I have done that, about those other things I spoke of. I told him how much it bothers me, and have expressed my wish that she leave him and his family alone. He agrees to my face, but takes no action. So, I have to conclude that it's either no big deal for him and he doesn't care, or he doesn't want it to stop.
So now, I turn to all of you to see if maybe this is really just my issue and there's nothing wrong with it. On a side note - I do not have a relationship with his family, because I met him during his divorce. I was told - very kindly by his father - that if I had been woman #2 or #3, etc, that I would have been welcomed into his family. But because I was first (although not the reason for the divorce - that had started before I met him), no one could or will accept me because they still enjoy a good relationship with his ex-wife. That is fine I truly understand. But it doesn't make me feel any better about this situation, and maybe in fact makes it worse.
Wow...if he won't do anything when you talk to him, and his family doesn't welcome you, you might want to ask yourself just how important you are to him.
if it were me...I'd RUN. It's hard enough when your man won't back you up, but when you got the whole family against you, it's a no win situation.
Been going with a guy for almost a few years. Long story short - he cheated on me for a few months.
His ex-girlfriend (the famous other woman) does a lot of the online stuff - Myspace, Facebook, etc. She has been keeping in contact through these sites with his kids, and possibly through email. Now these aren't adult kids - the oldest is 18.
It bothers me. I can't imagine what she and his children would possibly have to talk about. I don't want to bring it up to anyone. Not the kids, because they have a right to be friends with anyone. Not with my guy, because he doesn't know. YES - I am jealous of what happened, and have been tracking her online (my deepest darkest secret...)
Am I nutz to want her to back off of his family? They never see each other - separate states - and have only met once. I'm not handling this well, and want her to go away. Am I wrong? Any and all opinions welcome....
I'm confused - was he cheating on you with HER for a few months? If so, how can that be when they have only met once, as you state in your post?
Yeah, I think you're nuts.
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